How To Cope With An Angry Partner

Medically reviewed by Katrice Hollins, LCSW, LICSW
Updated March 23, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Being in a relationship with an angry partner, especially when there seems to be a constant presence of anger or negativity, can feel overwhelming at times. However, there is help available for overcoming the anger that comes from wondering why your husband is always angry. In some cases, men experience more benefits when discussing the roots of their anger in a safe, comfortable environment. There are also ways you can learn to cope with the effects of your partner’s anger and learn about healthy relationships. For many couples experiencing relationship problems, spending time in counseling can be a powerful resource, but there are also other methods you can try to get your relationship to a healthier place.

Identify Ways To Improve Your Relationship

The Effects Of Living With An Angry Partner

When your husband or partner seems angry most of the time, it can have a number of effects on your relationship, including: 

  • Criticism and damage to a feeling of safety and trust
  • Fear of being hurt
  • Feeling distanced from your partner
  • Sadness, loneliness, and anxiety
  • Damage to self-esteem
  • An increase in sexual temptations
  • An increase in drinking, gambling, and other compulsive behaviors
  • Frequent or recurring fights 
  • Always thinking it is your fault

How To Cope With An Angry Partner

In order to begin coping with your partner’s behavior, it may be helpful to first spend time identifying the root cause of your partner’s anger. Are there certain events or feelings that are contributing to their anger? If they are shouting constantly, identify the reason behind it, distinguishing the reason is one step on how to stop yelling in a relationship. By getting to the bottom of their anger, and avoiding thinking they are wrong, you can have a conversation and work together to address the issue and find effective coping strategies. If your partner is having difficulty uncovering the reasons behind their anger, they may benefit from counseling to help them get to the root of their feelings. 

1. Start A Discussion With Your Partner

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your partner’s anger, it’s important to communicate your concerns. Start a discussion with your partner and practice active listening. It may help to affect them and show that you are genuinely interested in their feelings and want to help. Sometimes, the mere act of talking or venting to another person can encourage a breakthrough.  

When you have a conversation with your partner about their anger, it’s important that you allow them to express themselves without judgment. It’s natural to want to express how your partner’s anger issues are affecting you, but first, it can be beneficial to simply listen.  

2. Respond With Compassion

It can be easy to compare our partners to ourselves. After all, if we feel like we have control of our emotions, why can’t they? When discussing your partner’s anger, try to keep an open mind and refrain from judgment or blame. This should allow them to speak more freely and may increase the chances that you’ll get to the root of the problem.  

3. Consider The Source Of Their Anger

"I think my husband hates me, what could be the reason?" Human beings are emotional creatures, and we all respond differently to various circumstances. Think about any recent events that may be affecting your partner. For example, the loss of a friend or loved one, a change in or loss of a job, or problems with their physical or mental health could be contributing to their anger. Many events can cause stress, and if they are experiencing depression, this can result in a change in mood and behavior. If recent events are to blame for why your husband is always angry, you may need to give them space and time to heal before expecting their anger to completely subside.

4. Take Care Of Yourself

While it’s important to talk to and support your partner, you must not forget to take care of yourself too. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with your partner’s emotions or having difficulties in your relationship, it can help to talk with  friends and/or family. This could be a friend or loved one, or a mental health professional. Having a social support system has many proven benefits, including reduced stress and improved emotional well-being. 

It’s also important to seek help if your partner’s anger turns into intimate partner violence. Violence is never okay, and there is help. If you’re experiencing intimate partner violence, consider reaching out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. 

Online Therapy With BetterHelp

Moreover, online therapy services, like BetterHelp, can match you and your partner with a licensed marriage counselor from the comfort of your own home (or wherever is most convenient for you). Not only is online therapy a more affordable option, but it’s also been proven to be just as effective as in-person therapy. Whether you’re facing financial strain, difficulties in relationships, time constraints, or don’t have a therapist available in your area, online therapy can allow you to still get the attention you need. 

The Effectiveness Of Online Therapy

Psychotherapy has proven beneficial for the treatment of anger and helps individuals deal with relationship issues. In fact, one extensive study found that online therapy was effective in strengthening relationships. Another found that 75% of people receiving anger management therapy improved their anger issues as a result. 

In other words, there is still hope, even if your partner is dealing with anger and it seems to be getting worse. A counselor can help your partner get to the root of their anger and find ways to manage their emotions. They can also help improve your communication skills as a couple, which may help reduce angry outbursts. 

Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.

Counselor Reviews

Linda Seibert, MA, LPC, NCC

"I've only had two sessions with Linda but have learned a lot about my relationship with my husband and she has given me a lot of food for thought and different ways to look at the situation as well as ideas on communication. She has been very helpful!"

Valorie Bronstone, LPC-MHSP

“My husband and I are very appreciative of Valorie’s help and guidance in helping us work through some marital issues. After a few months of working weekly with her, we feel better equipped to weather our storms.”


If your partner is experiencing issues with anger, negativity, or a lack of communication, it can feel overwhelming for your relationship. Yet, there are ways you can help your partner overcome their anger, while also taking care of your own needs. One option that’s been proven effective is online therapy. In fact, online therapy has been shown to help improve relationships as well as reduce anger. If your partner’s anger is affecting your life, consider reaching out for help.

For additional help & support with your concerns

The information on this page is not intended to be a substitution for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. For more information, please read our terms of use.
Get the support you need from one of our therapistsGet Started