Dating Articles

Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia, LCSW

Dating can be a special phase of any relationship that can look different for everyone. For example: When you’re dating, you might go out with multiple people or focus on one at a time. Additionally, depending on your preferences, you might date casually or with more intention. Some people may be looking for intimacy without commitment, while others might be searching for someone with whom they can see themselves marrying and spending the rest of their life with. Lastly, people of all genders and sexualities can go on dates. Some people may be monogamous, whereas others are not. 

No matter who, when or how you choose to date, many may find deep satisfaction in the level of connection that can be felt between oneself and other people in the dating process. 

Below, we’ve put together some information to help you to get the most out of your dating experience. 

Is romance needed to date?

Romance can look different for everyone. For example—some may consider romance to be in the form of romantic gestures, gifting or actions for another person (or people). Others may consider romance to be present in the form of deep conversations and intimacy. 

We do want to note: While romance can be something that many can experience in a relationship or a partnership, it isn’t generally considered to be a mandatory element of the dating experience. Some people do not experience romance or intimacy in this way—they may experience closeness in other ways. All experiences related to romance in this regard are valid. 

Why date?

Humans are generally considered to be social creatures, who many believe may need connections with other people to truly thrive. Dating is just one way you can find someone to connect with on a deeper level and share life with. 

This may beg the question: Why date? 

There are many reasons people might choose to enter the dating pool. For example: Dates can turn into adventures. You can go to the movies, try new restaurants or go rock climbing with a potential love interest. Even if you don’t end up pursuing anything with the other person, you can still gain a few memories in the process. 

Additionally, when you date, you may have an opportunity to learn about people and find attributes that you appreciate in a partner. You can also discover which things you don’t like; establishing any non-negotiables you won’t accept in a partner.

Many may find that there’s no wrong reason to date. However, it can be important to be transparent about what you want with the people you’re going out with. 

Dating-related stress 

Sometimes, love and dating can feel stressful or overwhelming. Maybe you are busy because you have a highly demanding career, or perhaps you are a single parent and aren’t sure how to navigate the dating scene with a child. 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it can be understandable. However, we want to encourage you that if finding love is a desire of yours, it can be important to put yourself out there. It can be possible to learn how to move on from your past and establish healthy dating behaviors, either on your own or with a professional.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse in any form, reach out right away to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) for immediate support, advice and assistance.

Infidelity

One of the most significant problems that many people may face in relationships can be infidelity. Generally speaking, in a healthy relationship, partners trust each other. If one partner cheats on the other, trust can be broken, and it may be difficult to mend the relationship. 

This is part of the reason why it can be so important to practice open communication with your partner, whether or not infidelity has occurred. To avoid misunderstandings during the dating process prior to monogamy, you may consider asking the people you’re dating whether they’d like to be exclusive or go on dates with other people. 

If you’ve been cheated on in your relationship or partnership, speaking with a professional may help you cope and decide what to do next.

Online counseling with BetterHelp

Online counseling can be a helpful setting in which to discuss your dating life. Getting back into the dating world after a divorce, abusive relationship or bad breakup can be challenging—however, speaking with a non-biased and supportive online therapist can be what you need to feel confident and start your journey.

Through BetterHelp, an online therapy platform, you can connect with a therapist who specializes in dating and relationships. They can help you identify any unhelpful behavioral or thinking patterns that could be contributing to your dating experience and can give you techniques that allow you to feel more secure.

How online counseling can help

Those facing concerns or difficulties in their relationship may benefit from individual or couples counseling. One study found evidence that couples therapy delivered via videoconferencing was clinically suggested to be a viable alternative to face-to-face interventions. This was found to be especially impactful for those couples who couldn’t access the care they needed otherwise.

Takeaway

Dating can be an invaluable way to get to know other people, potentially helping you to find a long-term love interest or connection (should you desire one). While the dating process can be fun, it can also be challenging. Negative dating experiences and abusive past relationships can make it difficult to trust others and give new dating prospects a chance. Seeking support from an online therapist may help you heal from past trauma or relationship reservations, possibly supporting you as you relate to others in a healthier manner. BetterHelp can connect you with an online therapist in your area of need.