Feeling As If Love Is Not Real

By: Joanna Smykowski

Updated February 10, 2020

Medically Reviewed By: Prudence Hatchett, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH

The world can be a very dark and cruel place sometimes. It can be easy to feel like love isn't real or that hope is gone. There are many events and circumstances which can lead to this feeling. If this is a state of mind which you can relate to, then you'll definitely want to continue reading.

Shadow Depression:

Sometimes, it is easy to lose passion in this life. There are gray periods in life when we forget the zeal that simply being alive can bring. This may lead to convincing yourself that love is not real. Depression is often a cyclical ailment, rearing its head during times of stress and reduced self-care. Experienced differently or case-to-case, both in affliction and in magnitude, a relatively agreed upon description of the experience for some is a general disconnect from life, simply feeling cut-off from the interest and joy found normally in life's peaks and valleys.

Cellular Division of Labor:

We are all born with inherent capabilities, strengths, and preferences. We vary naturally as a population following to produce quantities of different characteristics. It follows that different people are cut out to fill certain roles in a functioning society. This also extends to enjoying certain things and finding energy from these things, while others may assign this to totally different things. As they say, one's trash is another's treasure.


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When You Feel Love is Not Real:

When you find and identify the things in your life that give you energy and solace, often there is a theme, underlying skills or preferences that have led you to have unique battery - built, charged and drained by an idiosyncratic amalgamation of behaviors and experiences. As human beings, we associate colors to different sensational experiences of varying degrees.

Synesthesia is a perceptual phenomenon in which certain stimulations trigger the simultaneous experience of another modality that isn't being stimulated by external stimuli. For the purpose of this discussion, the modality arising is color, such as those experiences and feelings that are emboldened and heightened by color, as well as the reciprocal. When one is depressed, it has been documented that some experience colors less vividly or derive less pleasure.

Synesthesia is a perceptual phenomenon in which certain stimulations trigger the simultaneous experience of another modality that isn't being stimulated by external stimuli. For the purpose of this discussion, the modality arising is color, such as those experiences and feelings that are emboldened and heightened by color, as well as the reciprocal. When one is depressed, it has been documented that some experience colors less vividly or derive less pleasure.

Important Things to Know about Love

Although it may not always feel like it, love is very real. No matter what life throws your way, no matter what challenging experiences you may be going through, it's very important to remember and never lose sign of the fact that love is real. The world may seem dark at times, but there is always light. As you keep this in mind, there are some very important things which you need to know about love.

Love Starts with You

When most people think about love, they think of connecting with another individual or having an amazing, passionate bond. While this is a part of love, the most vital part of love starts with yourself. It starts with loving yourself, believing in yourself, and having faith in yourself. Self-love is absolutely everything. If you don't love yourself, how can you love someone else? Self-love will impact how you carry yourself, the decision you make, and the individuals who you choose to associate yourself with. Moreover, it will determine the type of treatment and conduct which you are willing to accept from other individuals. If you feel as though love is not real, then the very first course of action you need to take is to love yourself.


Source: pexels.com

Love Cannot be Forced

When you fancy or carry a torch for someone, it can be difficult if that person does not love you back or reciprocate your feelings. In this situation, it's important for you to realize and understand that love cannot be forced. If someone does not feel the same way about you, there is absolutely nothing you can do to make them reciprocate your affections. You could bend over backward and go out of your way to treat them like royalty, but at the end of the day, you can never force love. It can only be freely given from one person to the other and that's what makes it so special.

Do not despair or lose faith if you happen to love someone who does not love you back. This does not mean that love is not real or that love is fake. It simply means that a particular individual is not meant for you. This can be really challenging and difficult in the beginning, but eventually, you will be able to accept his and successfully move on with your life. Moreover, you will have a lesson and life experience. Give yourself time to meet the right person. For every one person who does not love you, there are is another who is absolutely dying to shower you with love and affection.

There are Many Types of Love

When many individuals think about love, they think of it in the romantic sense. While there is nothing inherently wrong with this, it's important not to lose sight of the fact that love is not necessarily limited to romance. Parents can love their children. Children can love their parents. Siblings, cousins, and other relatives can love and care for one another, as can friends and even coworkers. This serves as an even greater testament to the fact that love is very real. While love ultimately begins with self-love, self-worth, and self-esteem, you should not make the mistake of overlooking the non-romantic love which exists in the world. You may not realize it, or it may not seem like it all the time, but love is all around you. Sometimes, it just takes a while to notice.


Source: pexels.com

Appreciating the Colors, Whatever Shade:

While sometimes a bout of depression may mean finding a new normal, developing a taste for life again may mean the same way as learning to like coffee or beer as you drink it over time. The colors we feel may not be quite the same shade as it was before the clouds came, as bouts with depression can leave scars in the brain, literally. Studies have shown that depression triggers a biochemical change within the brain that inhibits various processes involved in cognition and emotion.

BetterHelp is a resource shaped with these changes and limitations in mind, recognizing that when a person is experiencing a period of depression or general anxiety, the idea of going to talk with someone face to face can be an unbearable hurdle. An online interface, it was created to connect those in need of therapy or counseling with idiosyncratic counseling with a simple Internet connection.


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