Loneliness Articles

Medically reviewed by Julie A. Dodson, MA, LCSW

Although loneliness can be a common feeling, it can still be difficult to experience. Human beings tend to be social creatures, and we often prefer to be around other people. Being in a community can provide a sense of reassurance and safety. Our individual social needs can vary, and it’s generally healthy to spend some time on your own. However, being by yourself for extended periods may contribute to feelings of sadness, which can potentially lead to isolation, depression, and other mental health concerns. If you’re experiencing excessive loneliness that’s impacting your mental health, consider reaching out to a licensed therapist for support.

What is loneliness? Is feeling lonely and being alone the same?

There can be a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Loneliness generally occurs when you spend excessive amounts of time alone, and you yearn to connect with others. However, you may not have to be physically alone to feel lonely. Unfulfilling relationships can also contribute to feelings of loneliness.

It can be healthy to be alone and embrace solitude

Meanwhile, solitude and being alone can be perfectly healthy in certain circumstances, particularly for introverts, who often recharge through alone time. However, excessive feelings of loneliness can lead to depression in some cases. If you’re living with persistent feelings of loneliness, it can be best to take action to improve your mental health.

What is solitude?

Solitude and loneliness are both characterized as being alone. However, these two words do not mean the same. Loneliness is a negative state. You can be alone without being lonely. Solitude is a positive state of being alone, allowing you to self-reflect and know yourself better.

Loneliness and longing

Loneliness and longing are usually two co-existing emotions. People can feel lonely and longing if they feel lonely due to missing someone's companionship. Though these two words are related, they have differences. 

Differences between loneliness and longing

People can experience longing if they desire something that they don’t have. It can be a car, a job position, a dream house, a person, a situation, and many more. Loneliness results from the lack of social connections. However, the quality and authenticity of the relationship also matter. One can still feel lonely even if they have friends and family.

Why am I lonely?

There can be many reasons why people might feel lonely. Maybe you moved away to college and haven’t yet formed a new community like the one you had back home. You might miss a specific person, maybe due to a breakup, or a certain place, perhaps because of a recent move. 

It’s also possible that you feel misunderstood and as if no one “gets” you, contributing to feelings of loneliness. Or perhaps your children have moved out, and you’re not yet used to the house being empty. There may be countless reasons behind feelings of loneliness, and if you’re experiencing it yourself, please know that your emotions are valid, and help is available.

Therapy may help you cope with loneliness, emptiness, or sadness

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can commonly be used to help people cope with and alleviate feelings of loneliness, emptiness, or sadness. However, it can sometimes be challenging for those experiencing loneliness to make it to a new therapist’s office and fit in-person sessions into their schedule. If this is the case for you, you may find that online therapy can be a convenient alternative. 

Online therapy for loneliness, isolation, and depression

If you’re feeling lonely, isolated, or depressed, online therapy can help. With online therapy, you may connect with a licensed therapist and attend sessions from your home or anywhere you have a stable internet connection. If speaking to a stranger about your feelings seems intimidating, choosing between video call, phone call, and online chat may empower you to personalize the therapy experience to match your comfort level.

Therapy for depression, sadness, emptiness, or isolation

According to a 2020 study, online CBT for loneliness can be as effective as traditional in-office therapy. Participants in the study generally experienced less loneliness and improved quality of life after online treatment.   It can also be effective in managing depression and the feeling of isolation, emptiness, and sadness.

Takeaway

If you feel lonely even when you’re not alone, or if it seems that no one truly understands or connects with you, it can be helpful to turn to a licensed mental health professional for support. Loneliness can contribute to the development of various mental health conditions, but addressing your challenges with a therapist may help you overcome them and enhance your relationships with others. Both online and in-person therapy may be valid options for those struggling with loneliness.