5 Signs You’re In A Rebound Relationship (And How To Bounce Back)
By Marie Miguel
Updated November 06, 2019
Rebound relationships, they happen to the best of us. Many people have heard the term "rebound relationship" without really being 100% sure of exactly what it means. The real question that most people want answers to is, " does a rebound relationship last"?
In this article, we'll help you answer the questions -"what is a rebound relationship," "does a rebound relationship last," and provide you with coping strategies if it turns out that your relationship is indeed on the rebound. We take an honest (and healthy) look at rebound relationships, including what they are, a rebound relationship definition, and healthy ways to bounce back from this painful (and often repetitive) relationship pattern.
What Is A Rebound Relationship?
There isn't really a one size fits all rebound relationship definition. The main ingredients for a rebound relationship to exist are as follows. New relationships start within a short period after a long-term stable relationship has ended.
5 Signs You're In A Rebound Relationship - Rebound Relationship Stages
- Both parties enter relationships without knowing their partner's goals, values, and interests, and the relationship began as a result of mutual sadness over a recent breakup.
- The relationship isn't expected to last the test of time because the parties involved don't know each other or feel invested enough in the relationship to get to know each other for the relationship to grow healthily.
- Most rebound relationships are borne out of trying to escape the pain of a long-term relationship that ended unexpectedly or abruptly.
- One or both people have recently gotten out of long-term relationships and jump quickly into a new relationship without dealing with the issues that caused the original relationship to end.
- People who enter relationships without dealing with the ending of a previous relationship are likely to bring unresolved baggage from the old relationship into the new one.
In other words, people who find themselves in rebound relationships often look before leaping and choose a new partner quickly based on feelings of loneliness, regret, or competition rather than having a real interest or affinity for their new (likely temporary) love interest.
The consensus is that rebound relationships either can't or won't last, and one or both parties aren't fully invested in cultivating a healthy relationship. Rebound relationships may focus primarily on shared interests like recent breakups, shared social settings, or simple "right place, right time" proximity.
The Honesty Challenge For Rebounders: How Did You Get Here?
If you find yourself in the middle of one of the painful rebound relationship stages, you can recover. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you ignored the obvious signs. Only you know why you chose to enter the relationship with your current sweetie and how you feel about the possibility that it may not last forever. What are you looking for?
Are you looking for a more long-term or serious relationship that will likely end in marriage, children, and family? Or are you looking for companionship and a casual relationship that you're allowing to take its course? You get to decide what kind of relationship you want. Once you've been honest with yourself and get clear about your relationship goals, it's up to you to assure that those goals become a reality.
Relationships aren't easy - hence the number of breakups in our society. This is where most of us go wrong. Relationships require work. Just like anything else worth having - a relationship with your partner is a choice, and it requires attention and effort if you want your relationship to last or succeed.
Have you been putting forth your best effort in this relationship, or have you been sitting back and letting your partner do all the heavy lifting when it comes to bills, home maintenance, and keeping the romantic fire alive?
These things don't take care of themselves. If you find yourself in a relationship with a partner who can't or won't do their fair share, then this may be a rebound relationship. If you're the partner who is resisting and not doing their fair share, there is still a possibility that you are in a rebound relationship, you didn't realize that the one who wasn't committed - was you.
Getting Off The Rebound Merry-Go-Round
You've taken the first step and acknowledged that you are true - in a rebound relationship. What now? Do you continue the relationship as it is? Do you leave? Fight for it - who knows?
Once you've learned that you're on the rebound and you're not quite sure what next steps to take, it's time to seek professional advice from a licensed counselor or therapist. Many people try to substitute the advice of trusted family members or friends for professional advice. This is a huge mistake.
While your closest friends and relatives may have some of the inside scoops on what's been going on with you - they are not educated, trained, and unbiased professionals. Unbiased is the keyword here. Anyone who has a stake in how your situation turns out is not likely to be the best person to go to for unbiased advice.
There are two options for someone in a relationship on the rebound to get therapy. Option 1. Is to get individual therapy to get to the bottom of what happened in your situation, and learn how to make better decisions in the future. Option 2. Is to bring your partner into your therapy sessions to get their point of view on where the relationship stands and find out if they think this is a relationship that can stand the test of time, or if they believe that at some point soon that it will be time to call it quits.
Either way, knowing is much better than not knowing because you can at least make an informed decision on what to do next. At times like these, the natural response is to want to bury our heads in the sand and hide from the world in embarrassment, shame, or confusion. Resist the urge to do any of the above. Recognize that this, too - is a normal part of life and that with the right guidance and dedication to improving the quality of your life that you do have the power to change it.
Life After The Rebound
To prevent making the same mistakes as we have in the past, we have to get to the bottom of why we made the choices we made at critical and pivotal moments in our lives. Why did we choose our career, spouses, lifestyle, and others can normally be traced back to childhood. Our family values travel with us through life - whether we are aware of them or not.
Understanding this fact begs the question, are your childhood family values, the same values that you have today? Answering this simple question can go a long way towards answering the hard questions about the choices we make in our lives - that many of us avoid.
This is where licensed counselors and therapists do their best work. Professional counselors and therapists have made it their life's work and are dedicated to the mental health and well-being of clients and patients. When you find that you're at an impasse in your life, this isn't a signal to give-up. This is a signal to get help. Licensed counselors and therapists can walk you through painful situations and help you overcome painful traumas that have affected your decision making and prevented you from living your best life.
Childhood and adult abuse victims make completely different decisions when they are in an abusive state of duress, than if they had the opportunity to look at their life's circumstances from a more rational perspective. Online therapists like the staff at BetterHelp.com provide you with a sense of calm in the midst of life's inevitable storms. Educated and trained counselors are well versed in providing diagnosis, treatment, and referral for chronic mental health issues like anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), substance abuse, and other mental health-related conditions in a non-judgemental environment.
Therapists provide individuals, couples, and families with advice, therapy, and medication management support and referral to help mitigate the symptoms of chronic mental health issues that may be contributing to poor decision making in your life. Making a bad decision is nothing to be ashamed of. We've all done it, and we will again. The important thing is to learn from each mistake as it happens and not continue to repeat the same mistakes for the rest of our lives.
Real counselors, help real people solve real problems. Nobody is perfect. Making a mistake is nothing to be ashamed of. Learn from it. Learn to use your mistakes as a steppingstone to the heights that you want to reach in your life. Be honest about your experiences with yourself and your therapist so that the two of you can develop a customized treatment plan to help you bring out the qualities of "your" best self.
Better Decisions, Better Life, BetterHelp
If you're ready to learn how to develop new coping skills and strategies for dealing with the unexpected occurrences in your life - and you're willing to do the work. You're a great candidate for taking part in online therapy. Online therapists at BetterHelp.com provide confidential therapy services from the privacy and comfort of your own home, office, or other preferred location.
The dedicated therapists and counselors are here to help clients clear the pathway to make better decisions to experience a better life. BetterHelp therapists provide one-on-one and affordable counseling services for individuals, families, and couples. Licensed and certified therapist provides support for marriage, relationship, and couples counseling.
If you're ready to take the next step and improve the quality of your life by improving the quality of your relationships, contact a BetterHelp.com team member to get started today!