Why Can I Not Stop Thinking About The Guy Who Left Me? Get Clarity On Love, Get Love

By Mary Elizabeth Dean|Updated September 6, 2022

Breaking up with someone is one of the most painful things women or men can do. No matter how long you dated someone, regardless of whether you ended things amicably or not, whether the relationship was healthy or rocky, it hurts to lose someone who was such a presence in your life. For the next few weeks or even months, you might be regularly asking yourself why you can't stop thinking about him. And you might wonder if your ex thinks about you. This is, of course, to be expected, and in some cases should even be encouraged as you process through your grief, loss, and when you are missing them. We can't expect ourselves to turn our feelings off and on like a lightbulb, so be patient with yourself if you still don't know how to stop thinking about someone.

Feeling Of Not Being Able To Stop Thinking About It

You probably have lots of questions. Why did he break up with me? How will I cope? We'll go over these at a later point in the article.

Breakups Can Be Extremely Painful - Be Patient With Yourself

Why Did He Leave Me?

This is a question you may or may not have an answer to. If your boyfriend broke up with you, he likely told you why, even if it was vague. It's easy to start questioning what you could have done differently with him and dissect your every memory, the words you both shared, the way he acted toward you, etc. All the what-ifs running through your mind can torture you and make you feel like you did something wrong. Sometimes we don't get the kind of closure we hope for, which can lead us to fill in the blanks.

If you believe the relationship was going well, the factors which caused your ex-boyfriend to end the relationship are out of your control. If your boyfriend was not able to communicate the problems to you, giving you a chance to work on the issues together, then he's probably not ready to be in a relationship — and you deserve to be with someone who is. Perhaps he was your first love, or you had dated other men in the past, it is important to remember that every man is different, and you might not have true love with every person you date. This is okay.

Communication is a fundamental need in any relationship. You also don't want to spend your relationship trying to change your boyfriend and the way he feels, as some women may try to do. We are only in control of our own thoughts and our actions. This is particularly true when it comes to relationships.

It's also important to remember that relationships are sometimes a process of trial and error. Every time we open ourselves up to someone emotionally, we are putting ourselves out there, and run the risk of getting hurt. We are all trying to find someone who fits into our life like no other, and the only way to know is by dating and seeing how you feel about the person as you grow in the relationship. When things aren't working, as painful as it is, it's best to re-evaluate the relationship and decide whether you want to continue. You don’t want to be stuck in a relationship that seems to be missing something. While it doesn't feel good to have someone break up with you, remember that you want to be with an individual who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. You deserve to have someone who is a good match and not someone who doesn't realize your value.

In most instances, it is rarely the wrongdoing of one partner that leads to the end of the relationship. Quite often, it is simply that one partner desires something more than what their current partner provides. In such cases, the heartbroken partner should not blame themselves. You shouldn't feel the need to change a belief or the fundamentals of who you are to fit into someone's life.

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