Dealing With The Guilt Of Turning In My Abuser – Lisa
Updated December 10, 2018
Medically Reviewed By: Wendy Boring-Bray, DBH, LPC
When I first saw BetterHelp on Facebook, it was just something I sent to friends who refused to go to regular face-to-face counseling. But then something particularly traumatic happened in my life - I began the prosecution process for my childhood sexual abuser - and I decided I needed to get help for myself. I was already in face-to-face counseling at the time, but it wasn't as helpful as it could be for several reasons. Traveling to it was a pain, and sometimes when I got there it wasn't useful anyway because I felt fine. I have this thing where I can't remember what it's like to be depressed or anxious when I feel fine, so when my therapist asked me to describe it I was always at a loss.
BetterHelp was a huge improvement on that because I could talk to a licensed counselor in real-time when I wasn't feeling well. Doing this allowed me to address a lot of issues I hadn't been able to remember before, as well as allow me to identify my triggers with the help of my counselor.
I used BetterHelp for about a year. I went through a few different counselors, not because I had a bad experience, but because my first counselor had a family emergency and my second counselor wasn't quite what I was looking for. I spent a bit of time with my first and third counselors, and they each helped me hugely in different ways. My first counselor, Tiffani helped me realize that I have severe ADHD. Finally getting it treated cleared up a lot of my self-hatred and shame, and completely cured my generalized anxiety. She also talked me through a lot of panic and depressive episodes in real-time, which helped a lot.
By the time I got to Dr. Clark, I was feeling pretty well, so I wanted to focus on alleviating the panic episodes that used to randomly strike me. We worked through that a bit, but what was really groundbreaking was when he helped me see that my extreme guilt surrounding the sexual abuse case didn't make sense. He helped me come up with a metaphor that I used to see my situation clearly whenever I felt guilty, and that just fixed up the rest of what was wrong with me.
At that point, I stopped using BetterHelp because I simply didn't need it anymore. I was feeling well, more than I have my entire life, despite the court case going on around me. It was the best possible reason to quit.
I think what BetterHelp has created is amazing. I've recommended it to so many people and even bought a few months for several of my friends who were going through a lot but never got help. Using an app is so easy that there's no excuse not to get help if you need it - and I think that's what makes BetterHelp so great. People who didn't have access to counseling before because of stigma or time could safely get on BetterHelp and get treatment. A lot of people have a hard time believing they actually need help. The 7-day trial is a great solution to this. Let a real therapist determine if you need help or not. If you don't, you can stop. If you do (many people do), then continue and finally get help! There's nothing to lose.