Dealing With The Guilt Of Turning In My Abuser—Lisa

Medically reviewed by Karen Foster, LPC
Updated April 26, 2024by BetterHelp Editorial Team
Content warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include abuse which could be triggering to the reader. If you or someone you love is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7. Please also see our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.
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Learn how online therapy helped Lisa after abuse

When I first saw BetterHelp on Facebook, it was just something I sent to friends who refused to go to regular face-to-face counseling. But then something particularly traumatic happened—I began the prosecution process for my childhood sexual abuser—and I decided I needed more support. 

I was already in face-to-face counseling then, but it wasn't as helpful as it could be for several reasons. Traveling to it was a pain, and sometimes when I got there, it wasn't beneficial anyway because I felt fine. I have this thing where I can't remember what it's like to be depressed or anxious when I feel fine, so when my therapist asked me to describe it, I was always at a loss.

BetterHelp was a huge improvement because I could talk to a licensed counselor in real time when I wasn't feeling well. Doing this allowed me to address many issues I hadn't been able to remember before and identify my triggers with the help of my counselor.

I used BetterHelp for about a year. I went through a few different counselors, not because I had a bad experience but because my first counselor had a family emergency, and my second counselor was different from what I was looking for. I spent a bit of time with my first and third counselors, and they each helped me hugely in different ways. 

My first counselor, Tiffani, helped me realize I have severe ADHD. Finally, getting it treated cleared up a lot of my self-hatred and shame and relieved my generalized anxiety. She also talked me through many panic and depressive episodes in real-time, which helped a lot.


By the time I got to Dr. Clark, I was feeling pretty well, so I wanted to focus on alleviating the panic episodes that used to strike me randomly. We worked through that a bit, but what was groundbreaking was when he helped me see that my extreme guilt surrounding the sexual abuse case didn't make sense. He helped me develop a metaphor that I used to see my situation clearly whenever I felt guilty, and that just fixed up the rest of what was wrong with me.

At that point, I stopped using BetterHelp because I simply didn't need it anymore. Despite the court case around me, I felt better than I have my entire life. It was the best possible reason to quit.

What BetterHelp has created is amazing. I've recommended it to many people and even bought a few months for several of my friends who were going through a lot but never got help. 

Using an app is so easy that there's no excuse not to get help if you need it—and I think that's what makes BetterHelp so great. People who didn't have counseling before because of stigma or time could safely get on BetterHelp and get treatment. A lot of people have a hard time believing they need help. 

Let a licensed therapist determine if you need help or not. If you don't, you can stop. If you do (many people do), continue and finally get help! There's nothing to lose.

Talking to a  BetterHelp counselor

Consider speaking to a therapist if you have concerns about overcoming abuse or any other mental health concern. Therapy can offer insights into emotions and behavior, help navigate challenging life events, and teach coping strategies for symptom management. Research suggests that online treatment is just as effective as in-office visits and can be much more convenient for those unable to make regular trips. 

BetterHelp can match you with a counselor who has experience treating abuse and emotional trauma survivors. You can talk to your counselor via phone or videoconferencing from anywhere with an internet connection—and at a convenient time. You can also contact your counselor via in-app messaging anytime, and they’ll get back to you as soon as possible. If you don’t think your counselor is a good fit, you can change counselors until you find a good match.

Learn how online therapy helped Lisa after abuse


Online therapy through BetterHelp can provide a safe, convenient space for survivors of abuse or any other mental health concern to talk to a licensed counselor. With the option of phone and video conferencing and in-app messaging, you can reach your therapist anywhere with an internet connection.
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