Kevin's Therapy Story: How BetterHelp Rebuilt My Trust In Therapy

Kevin’s story: How BetterHelp Rebuilt My Trust

Kevin had previously sought out mental health services in person and online, but had largely negative experiences; this changed when he discovered BetterHelp. After being connected with a mental health professional he felt comfortable with, Kevin was able to work through issues like anxiety, loneliness, LGBT issues, and relationship problems. In addition to receiving mental health support, Kevin's therapy experience led to a process of rebuilding trust.  If you, like Kevin, have had poor experiences with therapy in the past, you may wish to give online therapy a try. Finding the right therapist may allow you to rebuild trust in the therapeutic process. 

Please note that Kevin’s story (below) has been lightly edited for grammar and clarity. 

Losing trust in therapy after past experiences with mental health services

Below, Kevin describes his experience with therapy: 

“Prior to BetterHelp, I had sought out in-person counseling services and one other online app but had negative experiences with both. The in-person therapist I was seeing kept raising their prices and was not very helpful or supportive. The online counseling app I was using locked me into one therapist, where I had to be granted permission to switch therapists, even though I felt my assigned therapist was not a good fit. I left this online counseling app angry and frustrated, but was not ready to completely give up on online counseling, as this worked better with my busy schedule.”

Possible reasons for losing trust in the therapeutic process

There are many reasons why someone might struggle with trust in the therapeutic process. Some common reasons for losing trust in therapy include past experiences involving:

• Betrayal
• Feeling blamed 
• Feeling judged
• Feeling misunderstood
• Feeling disrespected

How Kevin found BetterHelp 

While Kevin had not yet found the right therapist, he still sought support in figuring out how to manage his concerns, build emotional intimacy, and work towards a healthier future. While it didn't happen overnight, he persisted, saying:

“Therefore, I continued to look for and research other online counseling services. This is when I found BetterHelp! I could switch counselors as many times as I liked until I found a good fit and was lucky enough to be matched to Dr. Ortiz on my third match. I've now been working with Dr. Ortiz for a record of five months with significant improvements.

Creating a safe space with the right therapist

Having a safe space with empathy, communication, and understanding underscores the therapeutic process. This sense of emotional safety can also be key to rebuilding trust. Often,  creating a safe space involves honesty, respect, and validation of one's experience. This enables you to speak your truth without judgment, promoting healing.

Why emotional safety matters in therapy

Therapy is intended to provide a space between the therapist and the client, where the client can explore deep-seated issues. The therapeutic alliance, the bond between therapist and client formed through honest communication, mutual trust, and investment in the healing process, is often considered key to treatment outcomes. Moreover, an intentional and dynamic relationship is usually founded on: 

• Rapport and trust between client and therapist
• Mutual agreement on treatment goals
• Mutual agreement on the tasks related to healing
• Mutual trust and respect
• A sense of being accepted 
• Active listening on the part of the therapist
• A willingness to engage in the therapeutic process, speaking openly and honestly
  
  

Often, feeling heard can have a profound effect, as it brings validation and understanding. By asking open-ended questions and offering an attentive, nonjudgmental ear, a therapist can allow a person to freely express what's on their mind. If there comes a point where something is unclear, active listening also allows the therapist to paraphrase what they heard to see if it sounds right.  In Kevin's case, for example, being listened to was one of the main factors influencing his bond with his therapist, Dr. Ortiz.

The role of communication in rebuilding trust

Open and respectful communication between the client and therapist can foster mutual trust. Learning to talk openly about expectations and boundaries allows both parties to listen to and acknowledge the needs and concerns of the other side. Transparency and mutual commitment to goals and the process of therapy can also foster the therapeutic alliance. Similarly, effective communication with honesty, transparency, consistency, and mutual respect can play a role in the health of any relationship, especially when trust has been previously breached.

Changes Kevin experienced after treatment through BetterHelp

Below, Kevin discusses how therapy supported his healing process by offering emotional validation and empathy, allowing him to let go of blame. By staying committed to the therapeutic process, his journey led to greater well-being and increased resilience in facing big and small things. In addition, Kevin gained skills and strategies to continue his journey, which he describes below: 

“When signing up for BetterHelp, I was seeking assistance building trust with a therapist, as my trust had been broken after several failed experiences both in person and online. I was also going through a life transition that included broken relationships, animosity within a social group, situations within my career, LGBT issues, loneliness, and anxiety. I believe I have now improved and strengthened my trust in the therapeutic process. I have also been able to slowly move away from my past circumstances and my anxiety, so life has improved. In comparison to five months ago, I have learned not to react to my emotions, but to wait until the strength of the emotion has lessened to make a solid decision at that time.

I've begun thinking about life more positively, and my anxiety attacks have lessened. I have been equipped with many valuable tools by my counselor, such as not taking ownership of situations I have no control over and not breathing life into words that can bring me down. Words are powerful, and the more you tell yourself things that are not true, the more they can come true. I have now been able to think through decisions better before making any large decisions.

My biggest achievement with BetterHelp is the fact that I have become more trusting of the therapeutic process, especially the online concept, and that I now feel more empowered and think through life challenges more positively.

Healthier ways that therapy can help you relate to others

One of the main benefits of rebuilding trust in therapy is that it enables you to effectively address concerns, such as issues related to broken trust in your life. For example, the same elements (communication, openness, active listening without judgment) that foster trust with a therapist can improve intimacy and connection with a friend or a partner. Therapy can also teach you skills that can decrease defensiveness and encourage perspective-taking, which can lead to more empathy and connection between partners. 

Practicing small things that build trust daily

With or without the support of a therapist, you can cultivate tools for relating to others in healthier ways. There are also some small things that you can practice in your daily life. Some suggestions include:

• Practice mindfulness, which can reduce reactivity
• Aim to be consistent with your actions
• Aim to avoid making promises you are not sure you can keep
• Try to see a situation from another person's perspective
• Journal your experiences 
• Practice self-compassion 
• Read books on compassion  
• Identify and challenge fixed beliefs about the trustworthiness of people
• Practice gratitude 

When couples therapy or additional support can help

Rebuilding trust can be a common theme in intimate relationships, often requiring a sustained effort to engage in the process. In many cases, couples therapy can offer a helpful space for partners to address concerns and explore ways to move forward after infidelity and other issues related to broken trust, fear, and how to forgive a partner. Some helpful resources for couples looking to rebuild trust include Regain online relationship therapy, The Gottman Institute, and Positive Psychology's Trust Guide. 

Staying committed to growth in the long run

Regardless of the concerns you have related to trust, it can be important to remember that rebuilding trust can be a gradual process, so try not to be hard on yourself if you struggle with it for a while. Often, consistency, patience, and a committed effort towards meeting goals in the short- and long-term can lead to growth in the long run.

What techniques are used in online therapy?

Online therapy techniques may be similar to techniques utilized in in-person therapy. Therapy may not be one-size-fits-all, and a therapist can consider a person’s mental health history and current symptoms when developing a plan. In a virtual environment, a therapist may create a unique mental health plan for patients by implementing a combination of therapeutic techniques, mindfulness strategies, and providing added support groups or educational classes. 

Therapeutic techniques

A therapist may implement different therapy techniques to help a person manage or improve mental health. These can include the following: 

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)--CBT is a therapeutic technique in which a person learns to identify and reframe negative thought patterns. This technique can be used to help a person manage stress and anxiety as they occur in daily life. 
• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)--Dialectical behavior therapy is a type of therapy that may be beneficial in helping a person manage emotions and improve interpersonal relationships. 
• Motivational interviewing–With motivational interviewing, a therapist works collaboratively with their patient to help resolve ambivalence or apathy and to help spark or build motivation for change. 
• Exposure therapy–Individuals with specific phobias may benefit from exposure therapy, a type of therapy in which a person is gradually exposed to something that makes them uncomfortable, building a tolerance over time. 

Mindfulness strategies

In addition to therapeutic techniques, an online therapist may also incorporate mindfulness strategies. These are techniques aimed at helping a person to focus on the present without judgment. Common mindfulness strategies may include: 

• Deep breathing techniques–Deep breathing strategies like box breathing can help a person reduce stress and anxiety. 

• Grounding strategies–During periods of heightened anxiety, a person may benefit from practicing grounding techniques. One popular technique is called sensory grounding, which involves a person noticing things they see, hear, touch, smell, or taste. 

• Journaling–Journaling can be an effective way to track long-term progress toward a goal or to identify patterns in mental health. A therapist may ask a person to track times when they are feeling anxious in a journal to see if there is a trend. 

• Meditation–Self-reflective meditation can be a way for a person to relax both the mind and the body. During meditation, a person may focus on their breathing or other parts of their body rather than their thoughts.  

Support groups and classes

BetterHelp therapists may also be able to connect patients, like Kevin, with online support groups or educational classes. Support groups can be a good way for individuals to connect with other people who are experiencing the same challenges. In addition to support groups, there are also educational classes available to supplement weekly therapy sessions. 

What does BetterHelp cost? 

The cost of BetterHelp may vary depending on a variety of factors, including a person’s location, therapy needs, preferences, and therapist availability. Generally, patients can expect to pay between $70 and $100 a week with BetterHelp. Your weekly subscription includes one live session with your therapist, digital worksheets, messaging in between sessions, and access to group sessions. 

Some BetterHelp therapists may accept insurance (state limited); however, the cost, even without insurance, may be less than traditional therapy. Online therapists generally have lower overhead costs due to not having a building or office staff to pay for. BetterHelp is also accepted by health savings accounts (HSAs) and flexible spending accounts (FSAs), which can provide individuals with tax benefits and may allow for additional cost savings. 

Getting started with BetterHelp 

Getting started with BetterHelp is simple and starts by getting matched with a therapist. The matching process begins when you take a short survey asking about your mental health needs and therapist preferences. After being matched, you can set up your first session, which may be a way for you to see if you and your new therapist are a good match.

BetterHelp understands the importance of finding a good fit when working with a therapist. This is why you can switch therapists at any time, with no penalty. An added benefit of online therapy is that you are not limited to therapists practicing near you, which provides added flexibility in finding a match.  

Consider online therapy with a mental health professional

A few of the potential benefits of choosing online therapy over traditional therapy are its availability, affordability, and customizability. If you’ve previously had an unhelpful experience with mental health services, you may find that having options, such as the ability to switch therapists and the ability to schedule sessions at times that fit into your busy schedule, makes the experience much more successful. In addition, straightforward communication with an online therapist can be especially helpful when looking to rebuild trust in the therapeutic process. 

As this study explains, online therapy can be as effective as in-person therapy for treating a vast array of mental health disorders. Don’t hesitate to get the support you deserve if you feel you might benefit from giving online therapy a try. You may find, just like Kevin, that online therapy is what you need to begin moving forward and making progress.