What Is Radical Acceptance in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy?

Medically reviewed by Aaron Dutil, LMHC, LPC and Dr. April Brewer, DBH, LPC

Updated April 28th, 2025 by BetterHelp Editorial Team

Practicing radical acceptance typically refers to the practice of accepting that which you cannot change or control. It may not mean that you love everything about yourself or the situation you’re experiencing, but understanding how to practice self acceptance can provide a foundation of acceptance from which to move forward and improve. Recognizing when you are resisting a situation can be the first step in moving toward acceptance.

Working with a clinical psychologist can be the first step in the process of fully accepting things, like painful situations, and processing intense emotions, such as losing one's job or feeling bad about oneself. Through fierce self-compassion and compassion for others, one can learn to accept negative and painful emotions and avoid feeling worse. Difficult emotions can make it hard to see things clearly, but they don't have to control your response.

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Radical acceptance may help you cope with difficult situations

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What is radical acceptance?

Radical acceptance is a practice developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan. Often used in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), this practice was created based on the notion that reality must be accepted rather than fought against and that fighting and railing against a situation can be a greater cause of distress than the situation itself. When we fight reality, we prolong our suffering and increase our distress.

Radical acceptance can be helpful for a variety of mental illnesses or mental health concerns. This is because fighting against something can make it worse; in one study, people were told to think of white bears, then expressly forbidden to do so a few minutes later. The study’s participants found it virtually impossible to stop thinking of white bears. Once the directive changed to allow students to think of bears, the urge to do so went away. Accepting yourself, your situation, and your mental health status may alleviate some of the symptoms associated with each of these things.

When to use radical acceptance

Radical acceptance is typically used in situations that are beyond our control. Radical acceptance should not be engaged in situations that require a change, such as an abusive relationship or a dangerous work situation. Instead, it can be applied to things that occur without us being able to have a hand in them. Each of these scenarios could prompt a response of fury, denial, pain, and fighting – or each of them could be accepted as a new reality and moved on from. The current situation may not be what you expected, but learning to accept it can bring peace.

If you or a loved one is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Support is available 24/7.

If you are experiencing trauma, support is available. Please see our Get Help Now page for more resources.

Components of radical acceptance

Rather than being a thought or idea, radical acceptance can contain several components to put into practice. It may be good to say to yourself, “I accept myself just as I am,” but unless you live in a way that reinforces that belief, the belief may be useless to you and everyone else. To practice acceptance means to make a conscious choice every day to acknowledge what is rather than what we wish it to be. To practice radical acceptance, you might try to:

Accept yourself and your life for what they are – not for what you want them to be
Realize and acknowledge what you can and cannot control
Survey yourself and your life without judgment or condemnation
Acknowledge the facts about yourself and your situation
Accept reality
Practice mindfulness and live in the present moment

Part of refusing to accept reality can be living in the future or the past rather than the present moment. Radical acceptance can be a subset of living mindfully and requires practice to help you leave behind any fantasies you might have about your past or your future. It may ask that you root yourself firmly in your life as it truly is, without any judgment, anger, or denial. It can help you become someone who deeply understands self-compassion. When you fight reality, you might feel stuck, unable to move forward.

This type of practice is not always easy to adopt and may require guidance. You might read books, consult with a specialist, or see a therapist to develop the tools required to effectively use radical acceptance in your life. Each of these options may largely depend on you; however, ultimately, you may need to be willing to consistently practice and adopt the tenets of radical acceptance, or the approach may not be effective or useful. Whether you read about radical acceptance and begin practicing at home, learn about it in support group sessions, or work one-on-one with a mental health professional, what you get out of radical acceptance as a practice may be wholly up to you and may not be forced by anyone else.

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Dialectical Behavioral Therapy: Understanding the roots of radical acceptance

Despite functioning as a recognized mental health treatment, radical acceptance is often believed to have roots in Buddhism. One of the basic notions of this world religion is that attachment can be the root of suffering and that the lack of attachment can mean the absence of suffering. If you are not attached to money and a certain standard of living, why fight reality when that money has gone? If you are not attached to your identity as a fixed, definitive thing, you may not need to suffer when aspects of your personality or identity inevitably change throughout life.

Tara Brach, a clinical psychologist, internationally known teacher, and author of "Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha," encourages her clients to approach life with self-compassion for emotional healing and inner freedom. Tara Brach shines light on how acknowledging initial pain and accepting difficult emotions and situations can be a challenging process, but it can lead to a life with less suffering. By working to accept what feels wrong and acknowledging when you feel bad, you can cultivate healthy relationships and move forward more readily.

How do you practice radical self- acceptance?

Radical acceptance means accepting that many parts of life may be beyond your control. Anxiety and stress often arise when we try to control things that are beyond our influence. Practicing radical acceptance can include focusing on positive things in your life, such as your values, attributes, and characteristics. To practice radical acceptance, it can be important to avoid judging yourself or the situation and view it for what it is. Feelings of frustration or anger don’t mean you have to resist what is happening. You might accept yourself by acknowledging where you are and where you want to be, or you could think about plans that didn’t go as well as you hoped and how to revise them. Below are some practical steps that may help you on your journey:

Pay attention - look at the situation critically. How much of the problem was beyond your control? Notice how your body reacts when you experience anxiety, and allow yourself to observe it without judgment.
Practice mindfulness or cognitive-behavioral therapy. Both techniques can help you discard any self-defeating or negative thoughts you may have. When you feel upset or anxious over an event, self-defeating thoughts can work against radical acceptance and moving on.
Remember that radical acceptance doesn’t mean you can’t feel emotions or that things are right as they are. If you feel like crying or venting your frustrations, you may feel free to do so, but you might also realize that you’re unable to change what already is.
It may help you to find a therapist or treatment center that specializes in helping others with radical acceptance. An option could be to find teletherapy options that make it simple to learn everything you need to know at home or when it is most convenient for you.

This can function as the basis of radical acceptance; accepting yourself and your life can be a form of practicing non-attachment, and it may give you the freedom to live your life from moment to moment rather than perpetually scrambling to recreate a moment in time or forcing your life to fall into line with the plan you’d previously set forth.

Identifying sources of suffering and working on your radical self-acceptance

Throughout the course of your life, radical acceptance practice can help you navigate unexpected events, For example, one of the first things you might do is think about what could be causing you the greatest amount of pain or distress. You might identify trauma, a breakup, or some other unpleasant event in your life as the root of your issues. Anxiety can make it seem like acceptance is impossible, but focusing on what you can control may help. You might find that your need to practice radical acceptance comes after your life does not take the turns you’d expected or hoped for. Whatever the case may be, determining the source or sources can be an important part of this work; once you can pinpoint the things that are troubling you, you may begin applying radical acceptance to them. This self-awareness sets the foundation for true healing and transformation. A sense of peace can come from practicing acceptance and letting go of resistance.

Online therapy may guide you in your journey

An alternative to traditional therapy could be an online therapy provider. Whether you are hoping to tackle death and grief with radical acceptance or you’d like to overcome an addiction, online therapists may be available to work with you in a more relaxed setting – that is, from the couch in your living room or even from your bed.

A 2022 meta-analysis of 41 studies on the efficacy and feasibility of online DBT (one of the primary therapy methods that utilize radical acceptance) found that it can be effective for a variety of people and could even be considered essential for those who cannot leave home or need help outside of traditional sessions.

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Radical acceptance may help you cope with difficult situations

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Takeaway

To cultivate more meaningful lives, we must accept difficult situations and work to overcome them. Acknowledging that some aspects of our lives are outside our control helps us identify and accept situations that we can change. When working to overcome challenges and achieve personal growth, it's important to accept situations for what they are. Journaling and therapy can aid in this process by providing a space to reflect on thoughts and feelings, allowing for greater self-awareness and insight. You have the power to take control of your life and make positive changes.

Frequently asked questions

Read more below for answers to questions commonly asked about this topic.

What is radical acceptance, and what is its difference from normal acceptance?

Radical acceptance is the practice of intentionally acknowledging and honoring difficult situations. Rather than attempting to avoid or ignore a terrible thing, radical acceptance teaches the individual to consciously work through the negative emotions, thoughts, and sensations that it brings in an effort to curb dysfunctional thinking and regulate emotions. Practicing acceptance of an unpleasant reality can reduce inner turmoil and make it easier to manage distressing situations. By radically accepting that some things are out of our control, we can find healthier ways to cope with pain.

Radical acceptance is about understanding that pain will happen in life, no matter how much we resist it. When we experience something painful, we may tend to seek approval from others, hoping it will ease our feelings of discomfort. But true healing comes from accepting reality as it is without waiting for external validation. This concept encourages us to stop fighting what has already happened and what might happen and instead shift our focus to what we can control. Our body and mind may react with anxiety, sadness, or even when we become angry, but these feelings don’t have to control us.

Is radical acceptance cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)?

Radical acceptance is a skill taught in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). DBT focuses on distress tolerance, which helps individuals stop fighting reality and instead learn to cope with life’s inevitable challenges. Therapists encourage clients to stop fighting reality when it only increases suffering.

How does radical acceptance change everything in mental health and affect our thoughts?

Radical acceptance trains the individual to consciously and intentionally accept situations rather than spiraling into negative emotions or trying to avoid them. Saying “yes” to life rather than “no” can help us expand our horizons, let go of unrealistic expectations, and better manage our emotions. It’s a simple shift that can truly change how we experience life. When we reduce suffering by letting go of control, we create space for growth and healing. This concept is especially helpful in DBT, where it aids in distress tolerance and emotional regulation.

For a little while, it may seem impossible to let go of what we think should happen or should have happened, but practicing radical acceptance helps us move forward. It doesn’t mean we approve of everything, but rather that we accept reality without unnecessary suffering. Life is still worth living, even when pain is present. Instead of letting painful events define us, we can choose how we act in response. The mind may tend to resist, but the more we practice, the more natural it becomes. This approach can be helpful in reducing unnecessary distress, as struggling against reality often only adds more pain. Accepting what may happen or what has happened, no matter how difficult, allows us to reclaim a sense of peace.

Why is radical acceptance so hard?

The natural human reaction to problems or difficult situations is to get away from them, ignore them, or distract yourself from the feelings they create. Consciously accepting a situation and processing the feelings it brings can be difficult for us to do, and therefore, it is a skill that most of us have to work hard to learn. For many, however, learning radical acceptance can help them feel that life is worth living. When we resist unpleasant reality, we may unknowingly increase our own pain. Instead, focusing on acceptance can make challenges more manageable.

Difficult moments will continue to happen, and with them comes pain that may feel overwhelming. We may tend to dwell on what should have been, which can make us feel angry or filled with sadness. But holding onto that pain only deepens our struggle. Letting go of the need for constant approval allows us to make peace with what has already occurred and find a way to keep going. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean the pain disappears—it means we stop fighting reality and start living fully, even in the face of hardship.

What is radical acceptance, and what is an example of it in real life?

Let’s say that you are a person who has a problem with alcohol use, and someone offers you a drink at a party. Rather than thinking, “It isn’t fair that I can’t drink like everyone else!” or “I can’t believe this person offered me a drink, doesn’t she know?” you may rather decline the drink and say to yourself, “It’s frustrating to have to decline a drink, but I can get through this. I can still have a good time with my friends.” By accepting the situation as it is, without resistance, you shift your focus from frustration to resilience, ultimately strengthening your ability to cope. Recognizing that struggling against reality only increases suffering allows us to make peace with difficult moments. This mindset shift can help in managing other unhelpful emotions as well.

Life is full of unexpected challenges, and pain is something we all experience. No matter how much we wish things were different, certain events will happen that we cannot change. Seeking approval from others might provide temporary comfort, but it won’t erase what has already taken place. Instead of resisting reality, we can choose to act with acceptance and move forward. When we focus on what is within our control, we give ourselves the chance to heal rather than stay stuck in suffering.

When not to use radical acceptance?

There are certain situations in which the use of radical acceptance would not be healthy or helpful. These can include:

When a person is being actively abused
To excuse unhealthy behaviors
As a way to avoid changing something that is within your power to change

Why would my therapist recommend dialectical behavior therapy?

A therapist may recommend DBT for those who experience mental health challenges such as eating disorders, personality disorders, those who ruminate on self-harm, emotional dysregulation, bipolar disorder, and more. It may be used in couples therapy, as well. By accepting things we cannot change, we build resilience and reduce unnecessary suffering.

Does DBT rewire your brain and improve mental health and thoughts?

As with any type of therapy that challenges ingrained thoughts and behaviors, and practices changing these patterns, DBT can rewire your brain. New neural connections can be forged, as well as strengthened through the practice of radical acceptance. This process leads to lasting improvements in both mental health and thought patterns. By practicing acceptance, we become less consumed by anxiety and more open to emotional healing. Over time, this shift in mindset can reduce distress and increase overall well-being.

What are the weaknesses of DBT?

There is a lot of skill-building involved in DBT, addressing mind, body, and spirit. It can require a strong commitment of time and effort, which not everyone can or is willing to give. In addition, there may be other approaches required to address symptoms of certain mental health conditions, and DBT work would be just a part of this treatment plan. Some people may find it difficult to maintain motivation for DBT, especially when dealing with intense grief or anger. However, sticking with the process can gradually help improve overall emotional regulation.

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