Where Can I Find Couples Therapy Near Me?
Updated June 30, 2020
Reviewer Lauren Guilbeault
Life is hard on its own, but when you are in a relationship, there are times that it can make it twice as difficult. Relationships are made up of two imperfect people that each come with their baggage. With different sets of expectations and different personalities, between men and women, it's a given that there will be challenges from time to time. But, if you find that the challenges are starting to take over the relationship and affect your mental health, then it's time to start thinking about "finding couples therapy near me" so that you can start working to address them.
Common Couples Therapy Questions
One of the reasons that couples hesitate to try couples therapy is that they don't know what to expect. This makes them leery about meeting with a stranger about the problems they are having. Here are some of the common questions that couples have about couples therapy:
Should We Go To Couples Therapy?
Making the decision to attend couples therapy is a personal matter between you and your partner; however, there are some general signs that it could be a good idea to start attending couples therapy and start getting help such as:
- Trust issues
- A lack of intimacy
- Poor communication
- Frequent arguments
- Inability to handle conflict
Although dysfunction is often the catalyst that brings people to couples therapy, it’s not exclusive to relationships that are having difficulties. In fact, even healthy and happy partners can benefit from couples therapy and can find ways to make their relationship go the extra mile.
What Does Couples Counseling Help With?
Communication is the most significant aspect of relationships, and without being able to communicate with your partner effectively, you will most likely run into any of the issues mentioned in the last section.
Couples therapy will extensively focus on improving your communication skills because it will help resolve these problems by allowing you to become more open with your partner, improve conflict resolution, strengthen intimacy and connection, and encourage mutual growth.
How Much Is It Going To Cost? Do Insurance Companies Cover Couples Therapy?
Unfortunately, there is no straight answer as to how much couples therapy will cost you. The cost of service varies widely from one therapist to the next. If the expense is a concern to you, several options can help you out.
Ways To Save On Couples Counseling
- Sliding scales - Many therapists provide a sliding scale for the cost of their services for those that don't have insurance covering the costs. This means that the price of your therapy sessions will be based upon your income. This is a way that a therapist tries to work with couples to allow them to get the help they need in their relationship.
- Insurance - Some insurance plans will cover mental health services, such as sessions with a licensed therapist. You will need to check with your health insurance company to find out if they cover anything and how much they cover.
- Students - If you are located near a teaching university, you may be able to find more affordable counseling options through the school. Many offer discounted counseling if you meet with a graduate student that is overseen by a licensed therapist.
- Nonprofits or religious organizations - Some religious organizations and nonprofits provide counseling services for free.
- Online counseling - Some counseling services are provided online. BetterHelp is an example of one of these websites. They connect you with therapists that you can meet with from anywhere. Typically, they provide you with access more frequently than you would have if you met in-person with a therapist. Couples counseling might cost more than you want to spend, but before deciding to skip it, think about the money, it could be saving you. Counseling is much cheaper than filing for a divorce or staying in a relationship that makes you miserable. Your relationship can be improved, and couples counseling can help.
Do We Meet Together?
The answer to this question depends on your situation and your therapist. When you attend couples counseling, you will attend together. The therapist needs to be able to speak with both of you and see how you interact with each other. However, there are many times when counselors will also want to meet with you for individual sessions as well. This can help deal with the struggles in your life or in situations you have lived through in the past. Then, while you are meeting together, you're able to focus on your relationship as a whole.
Can I Come Alone?
If your significant other is unwilling to attend couples therapy with you, you can still get help with your relationship with individual therapy. A therapist can help you with your role within the relationship and seeing the bigger picture. You may even find that after you attend therapy alone and are starting to grow in your life and role in the relationship that it might be just the motivation your significant other needs to decide to start coming as well.
How Long Will I Need To Go To Couples Therapy?
There's no set answer on how long you will need to attend couples therapy sessions. Many couples will continue for anywhere from 3-6 months. However, this isn't always the case. Some couples will have made progress they needed in less than three months, and others may need to continue for longer than six months.
Couples therapy sessions are most definitely not a one and done type of appointment. It can take more than one session for your therapist to see what's going on and how you interact with each other as a couple. However, if you've been attending for several months and aren't able to see that any progress is being made, then you will want to look at finding a new therapist. Not every therapist is going to be the right fit for you, even if they come recommended by someone you know.
EFT Therapy For Couples
A popular form of therapy for couples is called EFT, which stands for emotionally focused therapy. This form of therapy was created in the 1980s and is very helpful for couples. In fact, the ICEEFT website states, "Research studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and approximately 90% show significant improvements." With statistics like that, it makes it worth giving therapy a try before calling it quits on your marriage.
EFT is all about attachment and bonding. When we are connected and attached positively, it allows us to feel free to be ourselves and knows that we are loved, cared for, and that we can trust the other person. However, if we've had damage done to us in past relationships, even parental relationships, we can be left with insecurities and issues that we bring into our current relationships.
Couples learn how to bond appropriately with each other through counseling sessions. This helps to form attachments and teaches the couple how to communicate in a new and authentic way.
How To Know When It's Time To Try Couples Therapy
There are many different reasons why a couple might want to try therapy. It could be that your relationship has experienced a crisis such as an affair. It could also be that you just feel that your relationship is harder than it needs to be. Or, it could be that there are small situations that come up regularly that you can't seem to move past. Some people even decide to try couples therapy before actually being a couple to find out why they've struggled with past relationships. This can help prepare you for a future relationship.
Finding a therapist is not as hard as you might think. Not only are there therapists all over that can work with couples, but you can also find access to therapists online. Some of the things that you want to look for in a therapist include:
- Finding someone you're comfortable with - You will not be able to make real progress through relationship counseling if you and your significant other aren't comfortable with the therapist. It's important that you be able to feel like you can freely share without holding anything back to make the most progress.
- Convenient location - You will want to find a counselor that is located in a convenient location for you and your significant other. That could mean finding somewhere between your places of work, near your home, or an online therapist that allows you to meet from anywhere.
- Education - You don't want to trust the future of your relationship with just anyone. Make sure you are speaking with a therapist that has been trained in providing couples counseling. If you want to try EFT therapy, make sure your therapist has been trained in this form of therapy.
- Experience - Many therapists will do couples therapy, but it doesn't mean they have experience in it. When you're working on saving or improving your relationship, you may want to find a therapist that works with couples regularly.
- Personal preference - This could stand for any number of things. You both may be more comfortable with a man or a woman therapist. Or, if you are religious, then you might prefer to work with someone that has similar beliefs.
When looking for a therapist, you can ask friends and family for recommendations. You can also try searching online for a phrase similar to "couples therapy near me."
How Often Do Happy Couples Make Love?
Intimacy is something that can make or break a relationship; however, there is no predefined or required amount of intimacy that couples need in order to be happy.
It is a personal matter between you and your partner, and if you are having intimacy issues, couples therapy can help address them by improving your communication with each other, so you can discover what’s ideal for both of you.
Couples therapy will attempt to help you and your partner find the right level of intimacy that makes you both content, and you can apply the skills that you learn to other areas in the relationship as well.
How Often Do Sexless Marriages Last?
As mentioned before, intimacy is a personal matter in the relationship, and the amount of it is unique to yours. Many relationships that don't have sexual intimacy can be successful; however, only if it’s mutually agreed upon.
If one partner is unhappy with how infrequent intimacy is in the relationship, this can quickly become an issue, and if it’s left unresolved, the relationship can fail.
By attending couples therapy, you and your partner can get to the bottom of why there is no intimacy in your relationship and attempt to try to address the issues that might be causing it.
In fact, a lack of intimacy is a very common problem in relationships, and it is typically something that is very fixable.
What Is The Difference Between Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy?
Marriage therapy or counseling and couples therapy are two strategies for improving relationships that are often used interchangeably because they have a similar approach to therapy with many of the same goals, such as improving communication and conflict resolution skills; however, there are some differences you should be aware of when you look for assistance.
Compared to marriage counseling, couples therapy typically consists of more sessions overall because it takes a look at the entire picture of the relationship, and there will be times where the counselor tries to address any issues that an individual has and how those factor into the relationship.
On the other hand, marriage counseling doesn’t typically last as long as couples therapy because it primarily focuses on the issues that are happening in the present and finding solutions to them, rather than looking at the past.
However, some people who are preparing to get married also seek out licensed marriage counselors so that they can learn how to address things that will come up during the marriage beforehand, and therefore, reinforcing their future and having the best marriage possible so that they can have a meaningful life together.
How Do You Mend A Broken Relationship?
Some relationships might seem irreparable on the surface, but usually, if something is broken, it can be fixed.
In fact, many of the issues that plague relationships and make them appear like they are unfixable are because the couples don’t know how to effectively address these problems in a healthy and productive way, or at all.
After a while, these problems can become overbearing and draining, and it's common for couples to not have the emotional energy to attempt tackling these issues, especially if there has been a history of failure and no progress being made in addressing problems.
Even if it seems like it's too far gone, in most cases, it isn’t, and attending couples therapy can help you fix relationship problems that have even lasted for years.
How Do You Know When Your Marriage Is Over?
Unfortunately, while many relationships can be fixed with couples counseling and therapy services, not all of them are salvageable and will fall apart. Divorce rates are still quite high, and there are many signs of failing relationships that might not be able to be repaired, such as:
- The partners have completely different goals
- They can’t be themselves around each other
- There are resentment and no forgiveness
- They can’t rely on each other
- There are signs of maliciousness or abuse
- One or both members are looking for a way out
Importantly, even though it’s common for one member to try individual therapy first, and the other partner follows suit afterward, if someone in the relationship has no intention in trying to improve the situation or actively tries to avoid it, couples counseling won't be helpful since there isn’t much else that can be done other than to break up or get a divorce.
If that happens, family therapy will usually be the type of treatment used to help people overcome marital separations, and you will learn more about it in the next section.
Relationships aren’t a one-way street. It’s a collaboration between partners, and both need to be involved to ensure that it is functional.
Do Counselors Ever Recommend Divorce?
Whether you’re attending marriage counseling or couples therapy, professionals in these services will usually never suggest that you should get a divorce.
Instead, marriage counselors and couples therapists will typically continue to improve your communication skills, and if divorce is looking like a possible option, what you learn in marriage counseling or couples therapy might help you reach that conclusion for yourself.
Even if you are being abused by your partner, counselors and therapists will provide you with mental health resources that can help you find safety, but ultimately, they won’t explicitly tell you that you need to leave your relationship.
In the event that you do decide to separate, there is divorce counseling and therapy services to help you cope with the feelings and emotions that you will most likely experience. It’s normal to feel anxious or depressed following any breakup, and counseling and therapy techniques like Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), can help you deal with negative thought patterns and focus on more productive ones.
Divorces will more than likely affect the entire family, and if you have kids, they will also experience difficulties in processing the emotions and dealing with the challenges that follow a divorce.
Family therapy can assist with this, and licensed marriage and family counselors are trained to help people who are struggling with the aftermath of a divorce. Like couples counseling, finding a marriage and family therapist is easy, and you can find one conveniently located at BetterHelp.
Don't Be Afraid To Ask For Help
Many people tend to pride themselves on being independent. However, there are some times in life when we could use the help of someone with professional training. If you think your relationship could be better, don't be afraid to reach out for help. If you are used to sharing with your close friends or family, it can be weird to think about talking to a stranger. However, it can also be easier to talk to a trained therapist and mental health professional because they aren't in your everyday life.
You can attend couples therapy sessions to get the help you need without having to let your friends and family into every little part of your relationship. On the other hand, if you need to, a family therapist is also available, so that couples and families can all get involved.
If your relationship is in crisis, reach out for help. If you are in an abusive relationship, make sure you focus first on your safety and your mental health before worrying about if the relationship can be saved.