Attraction Articles

Medically Reviewed By: Aaron Horn, LMFT, MA

Attraction can be hard to understand, but each of these sections will discuss different parts of attraction, and why they are important. 

The Split Attraction Model 

Sexual and romantic attraction don’t necessarily need to be together. Sometimes, you may experience split attraction. You may be sexually attracted to someone, but you don’t experience any romance for them. You may be romantically attracted, but your sexual attraction is nonexistent. 

In recent years, we have begun to understand that attraction is a lot more complex than we originally thought. We now understand that gender identity and sexual identity are two very different things. We have expanded our view of sexual identity to include people who are heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and more; celebration of Pride Month plays a big role in this. In today’s dating world, it can be a little complex and confusing. Attraction is a lot more complicated than you think. 

Intelligence

Some people are attracted to intelligence. They say that intelligence is sexy, and there is a term for it. That term is sapiosexual. These people are attracted to those they believe are intelligent. 

There are many justifiable reasons for intelligence being an attraction point. Some people are attracted to intelligence because they believe that it will lead to a strong relationship and maybe a successful future family. Others are attracted to intelligence because it is a lasting trait, and while looks may fade with time, wisdom continues to grow.

Of course, intelligence is subjective. Some people like those who are book smart, and others like those who are street smart. Some people may be attracted to one’s intelligence in a particular subject, and may not necessarily be attracted to the rest of what they know. 

Pheromones 

Pheromones are quite an intriguing concept. You may have heard of a perfume that is laced with pheromones that makes you attractive to other people. Is it true? 

The body does naturally produce pheromones and other hormones that can attract someone. However, there is little scientific support for pheromone-based perfumes. If you are interested in attracting someone, you might need to work a little harder. It’s probably not as easy as ordering a new fragrance or cologne.

There are however ways to increase your pheromones naturally. Exercise causes your body to give off pheromones. Just make sure not to wait too long, you just may end up stinking! 

Body Language

Attraction is not always communicated verbally. After all most of our communication is non-verbal. Your body language can tell others how you feel about them, how confident you are, and even how successful you might be. You may wonder if you can read someone else’s body language and determine whether they are attracted to you. 

Absolutely! Someone who is attracted to you will turn towards you in a conversation, look into your eyes and smile at you. They may even slide in closer to you. That’s an obvious one, but there are others that are a little less obvious. 

Like crossing your arms. That could mean many things. Someone may just be relaxing, or they might feel like crossing their arms is protective, or they may be disinteresting. Sometimes, a vague body language gesture can be clarified with a few more context clues. 

Eye Contact

Eye contact is a tricky subject in the world of attraction. In some eastern cultures, staring into someone’s eyes is rude. In western culture, eye contact is a sign of trust. You look into someone’s eyes to convey that you trust them or are attracted to them. Meanwhile, if someone is looking away, this may mean disinterest or distrust. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul for that reason.

However, eye contact is more complex than just that. What if they keep looking away? What if a person has autism or another condition that makes them feel uncomfortable with eye contact? Just because a person doesn’t have good eye contact doesn’t mean they aren't attracted to you. 

The Signs of Attraction

One important aspect of attraction is knowing whether someone is attracted to you. Few people are direct enough tell you whether or not they like you. Many people have a difficult time reading body language are looking for more subtle hints. 

While everyone shows attraction differently, there are a few signs that are universal. For people with a strong personality, they tend to give solid eye contact along with a smile. For other people, it may be laughing at what you say. Knowing the sings of attraction can help you decide whether or not the relationship is worth pursuing. 

Understanding these signs is important, because as a person, everyone is different, and it can save you from potentially embarrassing situations. 

Attraction Types

When you think of attraction, you may imagine it based on lust or romance. However, there are a few attraction types you may be unaware of. For example, have you ever heard of aesthetic attraction? Or the split attraction model? This is when you notice that someone looks good, but you aren’t necessarily attracted to them sexually or romantically. 

Humans can feel many different types of attraction. Because of this, it can be hard to distinguish which one you or someone else is experiencing. It also may make you wonder if you like the person sexually, romantically, or emotionally. These articles can help you figure out the different types of personal attraction, and why it matters. 

Attraction is a beautiful thing, and you can learn a lot about it here.