9 Signs A Man Is Falling In Love

Updated March 13, 2023by BetterHelp Editorial Team

You’re dating a guy, and it seems to be going well, but does he feel for you the way you do for him? Figuring out what’s going on in your partner’s head can feel like a major challenge, especially when you don’t yet have a lot of experience with him. What signs will you see when a man is falling in love with you?

Though the process may not be the same for everyone, certain tell-tale hints can show his feelings are getting deeper and stronger. As he starts to fall in love with you, his behavior will show that you and your happiness are important to him. See below for the most important indicators of love from the man you’re with.

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Do Men Fall In Love In A Different Way From Women?

This article is written for people who love men, but many of the signs of falling in love can apply to anyone. Science has found very few conclusive brain differences between men and women, and lots of things about romance are the same across gender lines. Even if you’re not a man, you might want to ask yourself how you would act if you were falling for someone — and then ask if that sounds like the man you’re dating.

That said, there are some statistical differences in the ways men, women, and non-binary individuals, likely due to differences in upbringing and social expectations. Those distinctions aren’t always the ones you might expect, though. For instance, though many people think of women as the more romantic gender, some studies indicate that men fall in love faster.

"Does he love me? How can I tell?" It’s hard to say for certain, but here are the following 9 signs that can be important clues that he’s falling in love.

#1: He Wants To Be Around You All The Time

In the early stages of the relationship, the guy you’re dating may be careful to space out dates with you, leaving time for the two of you to be apart. This could be because he doesn’t want to come across as obsessive, because he wants to preserve a sense of anticipation, or because he’s worried about getting too attached too quickly. But once he begins to fall for you, that desire for distance may go out the window.

Neurologically speaking, falling in love has some similarities with drug addiction. When a man seems to crave time with you and care less about playing it cool, it’s a good sign that his feelings are growing stronger. You may want to watch out for signs of controlling behavior, but in general, it’s a good sign if your boyfriend’s plans always seem to include you.

#2: He Says “We”

Pay attention to how the guy you’re seeing speaks in everyday conversations. When he’s discussing his schedule, his thoughts on life, and his hopes and dreams, do you notice him saying “we” a lot? For example, when someone asks what he’s up to next weekend, does he tend to say “I’m going to a concert with my girlfriend” or “We’re going to a concert?” 

Researchers have found that as couples grow closer, they naturally tend to talk about themselves as a unit. More usage of “we” as opposed to “I” or “you” tends to be linked with greater intimacy and relationship satisfaction. 

#3: He Lives For Your Smile

Many men feel a strong need to receive positive responses and encouragement from their partners. They often get a great deal of satisfaction from being able to spark positive feelings in the people they love. As the relationship grows stronger, the guy you’re dating may be constantly looking for signs of your affection. If he seems to light up when you smile, or if he does sweet little things just for the pleasure of seeing your happiness, he may be falling in love.

#4: He Knows How You Think

Does your partner seem to be deeply in tune with your feelings? Can he guess what’s on your mind and anticipate how you’ll react to things? This can be an important sign of increasing closeness. Love appears to activate parts of the brain associated with empathy, increasing your ability to see things from the other person’s point of view. When you tell your friends that your partner really “gets you”, it may be just another way of saying that he loves you.

#5: He Sees More In You Than You Do In Yourself

There’s a substantial amount of research indicating that people in loving, fulfilling relationships tend to exaggerate their partner’s good qualities and downplay their shortcomings. This doesn’t mean a good boyfriend or husband will be completely blind to your flaws. But it may mean he’s more inclined to forgive your failings and think of them as less important than your strengths. 

Over time, a partner’s idealized image of you may even help you to see your good qualities more clearly and inspire you to become a better person. If you feel like the man you’re with builds you up, gives you strength, and pushes you to believe in yourself, it might be because he’s looking at you with the eyes of love.

#6: He Wants You To Meet His Friends And Family

When a man starts introducing you to the important people in his life, it’s likely because you’re beginning to matter a lot to you too  If he’s still not sure how he feels about you, he may not want the people he cares about to get to know you just yet. Meeting his mom or his best friend doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going ring shopping, but it’s generally a sign that he thinks of you as a significant part of his life. 

#7: He Lets You See His Vulnerabilities

The psychological theory known as the Quadruple Framework posits that trust is one of the four essential components of romantic love, as opposed to simple attraction and desire. When a guy merely likes you, he may want to put forward an image of himself as strong, smart, happy, and confident. But when he loves you, he’ll often begin to open up about the things that make him feel sad, insecure, or uncertain. 

This can mean that he’s thinking of you as a true partner, someone he can rely on to help him get through life’s difficulties. And it could show that he trusts you not to mock or abuse his weaknesses. That may be an incredibly difficult leap for him to make, since our culture tends to make men afraid to show vulnerability.

#8: He Goes To You When Things Are Difficult

One way that a man who loves you might reveal his vulnerability is by seeking comfort from you when something goes wrong in his life. Sadness, pain, and fear can be difficult emotions for anyone, and many men instinctively respond to them by withdrawing and seeking solitude. However, when he loves you, he may regard you as one of the few people he can turn to for comfort.

The relief that your partner gets from your company may be surprisingly literal. Experiments have shown that the sight of a loved one’s picture can reduce the perception of even physical pain. When a man seems to feel better about his troubles simply from being around you, there’s a good chance it’s love. 

#9: He Treats You As A Priority

Sometimes, the most powerful indication that a man is in love is that he takes your needs seriously. When you’re just someone he’s casually dating, he’s more likely to “fit you in” during his free time. Once genuine love begins to blossom, he’s more likely to go out of his way and make sacrifices to keep you happy. 

Will he cancel plans with friends to come with you to the vet when your dog is sick? Does he show up every time your band has a gig at some tiny dive bar? Is he there to give you moral support as you’re practicing your speech for a big work conference? Of course, there will be times when it works the other way, and you’re the one making sacrifices for him. But healthy relationships involve give and take, and a man who’s never willing to put you first is probably not in love. 

Learn How To Build Stronger, More Loving Relationships

Sometimes An Outside Perspective Can Give You Clarity

Even if you know the signs to look for, gauging someone else’s feelings can be tricky, especially when you’re emotionally invested. If you’re feeling uncertain about where your relationship is headed, it might help to talk with a therapist who’s experienced in addressing relationship issues. Therapy can offer you a new view of the situation, not to mention helping you sort through your own feelings.

Finding the right therapist for you can feel like a daunting task, but it’s often easier when you use online platforms like BetterHelp. Online therapy allows you to get a much wider pool of mental health professionals since geographic distance is no longer an issue. Scheduling and attending appointments can also be much simpler when you’re able to chat remotely.

Online therapy has shown substantial effectiveness in research trials. A meta-analysis of studies including nearly 10,000 clients found that internet-based counseling provided significant improvement for most clients. The researchers found no statistical differences in effectiveness between online and in-person therapy, and they concluded that their research provided “strong support” for online counseling as a viable form of therapy. 

Takeaway

A man who’s falling in love tends to show his desire for greater closeness and intimacy in many different ways. He will likely prioritize spending time with you and put in real effort to make you happy. He may show you his softer side, while also serving as a source of strength and comfort when you need it most. Most likely, it will be a combination of all of the above, with his actions, words, and attitude all showing you how much your relationship means to him. 

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