What Is A Rebound Relationship And How Do You Heal From A Breakup?

It’s possible that your romantic relationship may be a rebound relationship if it started soon after your previous romantic partnership ended, if you haven’t fully processed the breakup, if you’re still talking about your ex, if you don’t talk about the future with your current partner, or if your current partner is distant and aloof. While a rebound can be a fun, exciting way to distract yourself from the pain of a breakup, it can be challenging to form a meaningful connection and be emotionally vulnerable with someone new when you haven’t navigated your own feelings or healed from your previous partnership. Most people have a hard time confronting their true feelings and building new emotional connections when still struggling with the pain of past hurts like emotional neglect. Online therapy can help you work through any lingering issues and improve the health of your current partnership. 

What is a rebound relationship?

A rebound relationship typically takes place shortly after a breakup. It can be seen as a way to quickly move on from a painful heartbreak, but this isn't always the truth of the matter. While some people can genuinely find love and happiness in rebound relationships, it can be important to recognize when you may be using the other person as a distraction from the pain of your last partnership, which can leave both you and your partner feeling emotionally disconnected. 

Your partner may also bring prior baggage from their last partnership into the new one, potentially making it difficult for you to establish an emotional connection. A rebound relationship can leave you wondering about mutual feelings, foster emotional disconnection, and lead to emotional neglect.  Realize that regardless of who's initiating the rebound, awareness can be key to avoiding further heartache. 

The impact of attachment style on rebounding

Following a split, it's not unusual to take some time before transitioning into a new partnership. However, your attachment style can affect how likely you are to find yourself in a rebound situation. In fact, recent studies show that individuals with an avoidant attachment style are typically more likely to engage in rebound relationships following breakup distress. 

Attachment theory by John Bowlby can help us understand romantic processes and emotional control. Bowlby proposed that psychological attachments form between two individuals and that these connections can serve a survival purpose. Rebound partnerships, then, can be seen as a way of controlling intense emotions in the aftermath of heartbreak. 

Other factors that can influence rebounds

No matter your attachment style, other factors may influence your susceptibility to rebound relationships. For instance, if the breakup happened after a long-term partnership or because of cheating, these past hurts might make it more likely for someone to jump into another relationship without taking the time to fully process their emotions first. Feeling hurt or emotionally drained by an emotionally distant ex can lead to having a hard time establishing trust in your own feelings, much less with another person.  

It's okay to take some time to heal before entering a new relationship. While there may be no right or wrong amount of time to wait before moving on from one partnership to the next, being honest with yourself and your partner about your pain and where you both stand can make things easier.

Five possible signs of a rebound relationship

If you are unsure of your own feelings in romantic relationship, and are wondering if certain negative behaviors may be related to recently-ended relationships, here are several signs that your relationship could be a rebound:

1. The relationship started soon after your last one ended: If you and your new partner got together shortly after the end of a long-term relationship, the relationship could be a rebound.
2. You haven't fully processed your breakup: Pushing away any negative emotions or thoughts about a past relationship and jumping into a new one could signal that you're in a rebound relationship.
3. You're still talking about your ex: Constantly discussing or comparing your new partner to your ex or trying to make your ex jealous with your new relationship, could show you're not fully ready to move on.
4. You don't talk about the future: If you haven't discussed things like where your relationship is going, it could be a sign that your partner isn't serious about committing to you or on the same page about the relationship. 
5. Your partner is emotionally distant and aloof: If your new partner seems uninterested in getting to know your true feelings, or doesn't seem to care about what's going on in your life. Cold shoulders can indicate that they haven't fully moved on from their previous relationship yet.

Determining what you want

If you think you might be in a rebound relationship, it can be beneficial to process your emotions and figure out what you really want. You may find that you're ready for something serious with your new partner or that it may be best for you to spend some time focusing on yourself so that you can heal.

Try to be gentle with yourself and your partner. Rebounds can be difficult and confusing, but with the right approach and strong communication skills, you can gain clarity and find the peace and happiness you deserve.

The pros and cons of being in a rebound relationship

Rebounding in romantic relationships is not inherently a bad thing. When both you and your partner are not on the same page you may experience emotional disconnection, but for some with the right communication skills, a middle ground can be achieved. Understanding the pros and cons of being in a rebound partnership may help you make an informed decision about your future.

Pros: 

• A rebound relationship can provide a distraction from the pain of a recent breakup
• It can be exciting to pursue something new after a difficult ending
• With clear communication and mutual feelings of respect, it could help you move on faster if your last relationship didn't end well

Cons:

• Your emotions may still be raw, making it hard to feel connected with someone else. If one partner feels the lack, it can leave them feeling emotionally drained
• You may not be over your ex, making it difficult to open up and trust someone new
• There may be underlying issues from your last relationship that may come up
• It can be difficult to talk about the future if you're unsure of your feelings

If you want to stay in a rebound partnership, it’s often best to examine how you feel and what you want. Rebound relationships can sometimes work out for the best, but it can be a good idea to take things slow and be honest about your feelings.

Being happy and comfortable in a relationship may take some time. However, reflecting on your feelings and ensuring your decisions align with what will bring you happiness and peace of mind can help you navigate the situation. 

Moving on after a rebound relationship

Depending on the nature of your relationship and its contents, a breakup could be for the best. When it's time to move on from a rebound, one of the best things you can do is usually to be honest with yourself and your partner. To do that, you can tell them that you need time to process the past partnership and figure out what you really want.

It may also be beneficial to take some time for yourself. Reconnecting with friends, taking a break from the dating scene, and engaging in self-care activities can help provide some much-needed clarity.

Perhaps equally as important, don't give up hope. It may take time to find someone ready to commit and love you fully, and that's okay. But, with patience, understanding, and openness, you may find a lasting connection and the happiness you desire.

Try to remember that you are worthy of love and respect. It can be challenging to move on from a rebound, but with the right attitude, you may find yourself in an even better, more meaningful relationship in the end.

Rebuilding Emotional Awareness and Connection

If, on the other hand, you realize that you’ve been living with a rebound relationship and you are interested in building emotional connection with your current partner, relationship growth is possible in some cases. Communication skills are key, as both partners should be committed to creating positive changes, and moving forward together. A relationship therapist or counselor can facilitate finding middle ground, opening up communication, and shifting any negative behaviors into more positive ones.  

Tips for avoiding rebound relationships

Following the dissolution of a relationship, you may feel emotions like anger, sadness, and anxiety. These feelings can be overwhelming, but they don't have to lead to a rebound. Positive outcomes like personal growth and improved relationships with friends and family may also come from taking time to process the emotional journey after a breakup.

While not all rebound relationships are bad, there can be benefits to understanding why they happen and taking steps to avoid getting into one. 

Remember, your self-worth is not dependent on whether you're in a relationship. A healthy relationship may take time and patience, but it’s often worth the wait. Understanding your feelings, communicating openly, and practicing self-care can positively influence your chances of finding a relationship that fulfills your needs.

Relationship therapy and healing after a rebound

Many people have a hard time after the breakdown of a romantic relationship, especially those who may have experienced long-term marital problems. Relationship therapy can be an effective way to feel heard, heal, and feel connected to your own needs. They can also assist in building communication skills that can help you listen and be heard in your next relationship. 

When to seek support to move forward

Relationship therapy is too often thought of as a “last resort” for married couples having a hard time, or on the brink of divorce. However, therapy can be an effective way to build emotional connection, support your own growth in a relationship, and create positive changes in how you navigate your life as a single and partnered person. If you feel stuck in a relationship, or unsure of how to proceed, working with a therapist can be an excellent way to gain clarity. 

Processing past relationships in online therapy

Online therapy can be a great tool for helping you process your feelings and build relationship skills. A therapist can provide guidance on how best to move forward and make decisions that are in line with what might bring you happiness and contentment.

By taking the time to reflect on your experiences and understanding why rebound relationships happen, online therapy may help you develop emotional and social skills to build healthier connections. Perhaps best of all, you can enjoy all these benefits without having to leave the comfort of your home.

Recent research shows the effectiveness of internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is normally in line with that of in-person therapy. Additional benefits such as convenience and cost efficiency further support the benefits of online therapy for those looking to move on from a rebound relationship. In addition, professional mental health support can be a valuable tool in helping you take control of your emotions and foster healthier relationships.