All relationships change over time, and it’s not uncommon to reach a place where you get the idea that your partner just can’t stand you. You may even be asking yourself, “Why does my girlfriend hate me?” Although this happens in many relationships, that doesn’t make it any easier when it’s happening to you, especially when you still feel in love but are hurt about your girlfriend’s behavior. If you and your girlfriend are still together, then figuring out the root of her behaviors, potentially through online therapy, may be able to help you fix things and turn the situation around.
Hate is a strong word, so for starters, take a look at her behavior for a clue. Does she seem quick to snap at you? Do you notice her start arguments out of thin air? She may be upset at something or experiencing stress from a difficult situation that has nothing to do with you or your relationship. Pay attention to see if she mentions anything giving her trouble or causing her stress. In most cases, she may be taking out her frustrations on you without realizing it. If that’s the case, you’re in a good position to help her through her stress and difficulties, which will only strengthen her positive feelings for you when she gets past this hurdle.
It’s also possible you unknowingly did something that hurt her feelings or made her angry. Whatever the reason is, try to talk to her about what she’s feeling and her concerns. If the problem is something to do with you, you deserve to know so that you can either resolve it by apologizing or discuss what it means for your relationship in the future.
Your partner can’t read your mind-you need to express what they mean and what makes you upset to you because you may have different communication styles. It’s important to chat with her and explain how you are feeling to your girlfriend so she knows her behavior is affecting you. Don’t just tell your close friends or family members you feel like she hates you and expect the situation to resolve itself. Have an honest conversation and tell your girlfriend you aren’t happy because you feel like you’re hated. Chances are, it’s easy to get comfortable in a relationship and assume your girlfriend knows you love her, care about her, and think highly of her. The best way to get her to stop acting like she hates you is for you to show your love for her with your actions, words, and body language. Model for her how you hope to be treated- expressing this can ignite the empathy in her.
Do things to make her feel special and put her in a good mood, without the expectation to fix things or getting anything out of it for yourself. When you remind your girlfriend that you care about her, she may figure that whatever you did wrong was unintentional and it will strengthen your partnership. Or if she was stressed about something outside your relationship, showing her tenderness may help her to relieve some of the tension and be better equipped to treat you well too. If this patches things up, make sure to practice it in the future so she knows that you are learning and willing to fix things.
If your girlfriend’s behavior continues to bother you, examine how long she’s treated you this way and whether she acts like this toward other people in her personal life too. If her behavior reflects a pattern of relationship issues, she may be struggling with a personal conflict. Either way, meeting together with a couples counselor may help you find out what is bothering her and how to help.
We sometimes have a sense that someone hates us without being able to pinpoint why we feel that way. This is completely normal, though having that sense is usually painful. Yet, you can’t resolve these feelings or fix things until you identify the exact behaviors that are making you feel unloved.
You’ll need to pay attention to her words, body language, and behaviors. You also need to consider what you do or say before these incidents happen. How do you know she hates you or has negative feelings toward you? Is it words, tone of voice, actions, gestures or facial expressions? Once you observe your relationship for some time and get to the bottom of your opinion, you can move on to deciding what you’re going to do about it. Online therapy has been proven to alleviate symptoms of depression and other mental health concerns.
When we meet a woman who appeals to us, those first encounters can seem magical. Everything these women say or do seems charming and interesting. They may treat us as if we’re the most attractive and fascinating person on earth. It can feel like no other girls in the world matter to you and that no other guys matter to her. They can feel like one of your closest friends because of your connection, even if the relationship is long distance.
But this kind of euphoria doesn’t last. Instead, we get back to being ourselves. This is a good thing because at that point you have an opportunity to see each other for who you really are and really visualize how a future together would look like. Though, it can also hurt when ordinary life settles in and you discover your differences and factors – those red flags that used to not bother in the past you suddenly start to, especially if we expect each other to behave as we did when we first met. You can start to realize it was all the “honeymoon phase” and that you aren’t happy. This is typically one of the many reasons the fights begin. Remember that this is a reality for all relationships and it isn't anyone's fault. When you think she hates you, consider that it might be that she’s just treating you more authentically than she was in the past. Instead of hanging on your every word and mood, she pays more attention to other things in the environment. That’s healthy. You probably want to know who your girlfriend really is, but you also liked the attention and admiration she gave you as her boyfriend at first. Resolving that dilemma can help you feel more at peace with the relationship. Your counselor can help you come up with ways to show your love for her. When you do, your girlfriend may just follow suit and you can learn to love each other's flaws as well.
Your girlfriend might not hate you at all. Instead, her behavior might be an sign that she’s depressed. If so, it isn’t necessarily a reflection on you, or someone else, for that matter. Depression can arise from many different causes. Perhaps abuse, neglect or trauma from your girlfriend’s childhood is beginning to surface after years of dormancy. Maybe she’s having feelings that she’s wasting her life in an unfulfilling job that isn't meeting her needs. She may have low self-esteem because no one ever taught her to love herself. Whatever the reason, depression has several distinct symptoms you can watch for:
First of all, don’t jump to conclusions or feel bad for her. The signs listed above can indicate a problem that might be depression, but that determination should be made by a professional as they conduct research on this topic and are trained to deal with it. After all, many of these symptoms can be caused by physical ailments. You can suggest that a counselor might be able to help. Don’t nag or get angry. Merely offer this simple suggestion in the kindest, most loving and respectful way you can. Then leave the decision to her.
If there’s a possibility she’s depressed, it’s also important to take care of your own mental health. Her depressed behaviors can put a significant strain on you. You may engage in self-blame. You might become angry, mad, or upset with her for not seeking help, wondering why the two of you lack the skills to work through it together. Your self-esteem may suffer as you ask yourself why you can’t help her.
Talking to a counselor can give you the opportunity to learn more about how to help both yourself and her. You can find out how to manage your feelings in a way that doesn’t contribute negatively to her condition. Getting help for yourself won’t resolve every problem in your relationship or change your girlfriend’s feelings or behavior, but you can avoid making both your lives harder and can give you an advantage in dealing with problems as they arise.
So, what if you’re right? What if your girlfriend really does hate you? It is a distinct possibility, especially if you have physically or verbally abused her. You may not even realize what you’re doing and saying are abuse. People who grew up in abusive households often see those behaviors as normal, because that was their normal for so many years. If so, your life doesn’t have to be over, but there’s a good chance your relationship with this person will be, at least until you change the way you think, talk, and behave. As a part of your therapy, you can examine your behaviors with your counselor to determine if you are indeed abusive. It takes a lot of work and commitment to overcome being an abuser, but it can be done. A licensed counselor is the right person to help you do it.
At the same time, your girlfriend may have her own issues to deal with. If this is true, you may want to examine the viability of the relationship and even consider to break up if it’s healthy thing to do. Going into couples counseling is a good first step as you begin to figure out the root the problems. You both may need to do individual work as well.
Couples therapy is a good way to get the help you need in order to address problems with your relationship, and BetterHelp is a great resource. Their counselors are available to help you understand the dynamics in your relationship so you can move forward. It is possible to fix a broken relationship on your own, but it’s a lot easier with a licensed therapist on your side. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.
“Mark is an amazing therapist. He listens so well and has such valuable insight on male and female perspectives and issues while also not passing judgment. I have only just begun, but he has already given me so many great takeaways to improve my relationships and situations. I am filled with gratitude, and I would highly recommend him to anyone!!”
“Dr. Murphy has been very helpful in identifying issues and behaviors that led me to withdraw from my relationships and now she is helping me to repair them.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): Why does my girlfriend hate me?
What do I do if my girlfriend hates me?
You may ask yourself, “Why does she hate me?" If you think that your girlfriend hates you, you should first figure out why that is, and if she hates you at all. There’s a good chance that she doesn’t hate you; why would she be in a relationship with you if she hates you? However, she may be irritated or upset at something you’ve done or be mad at something else.
So, think about what you could have done wrong to make her feel bad, mad, or upset. If you’re unable to find a reason, consider if there’s something in her personal life. Did she go through something that would make her irritable, such as problems with family members? Is she mad over something at her job? Is stress about school affecting her behavior? There are many reasons why she may seem angrier than usual.
Your best bet is to simply talk to your girlfriend and ask if there’s anything you can do for her.
If there’s a reason she dislikes you, or if she says it’s nothing and you still have your suspicions and ask yourself, “Why does she hate me?” this may be something worth speaking to a counselor or therapist with. Above all, remember that your self-respect and integrity are more important than toxic relationships. If you are in a relationship with a person that constantly makes you feel bad about yourself, a break up may be the healthier option for you.
How do you know if your girlfriend hates you?
If you ask yourself, “Why does she hate me?” it’s wise to learn if she does dislike you, or if it’s in your head. Maybe she doesn’t hate you but has something else going on.
There’s also the problem of misinterpretations. Some people may naturally be standoffish or come across as they dislike you, but they don’t mind you or may like you, as a matter of fact. Then, there are those who will act like they’re your best friend, but they actually hate you.
If you want to know if your girlfriend hates you, there are a few signs that may indicate that something is wrong, such as:
How do you get back a girlfriend that hates you?
You may wonder, “Why would I want to be in a relationship with someone who hates me?” and that’s true. However, some girlfriends who “hate” you are just annoyed at you, and there are ways you can win them back. Here are some ways to do so.
How do you know if someone hates you secretly?
There are many people who dislike you or downright hate you – even people from your family or individuals you thought were your friends – but to be nice or keep the peace, they may not tell you. Sometimes, you’ll never know for sure what someone thinks about you; they may give off mixed signals, and some people who seem hateful actually like you and vice versa. However, there are some ways you can figure it out.
These are just a few examples, but as we said, it’s hard to tell. Some people have awkward body language or are simply bad with communication. In the end, they have to tell you directly. And sometimes, you just think everyone hates you. If you’re like that, seeking help from a counselor is important. They can give you advice, mental health news, and techniques to cope with your self-doubt. When you’re getting counseling, the nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower you and allow you to stand up for yourself.
How do you make someone hate you?
No one wants to be hated, yet it’s extremely easy to make someone hate you since everyone has their own pet peeve that will set them against you. When you think about making someone hate you, you may imagine you doing something to them that is unforgivable, such as stealing from them, but people can hate you for many reasons, including:
So, as you can see, people will dislike you for many reasons, and you can’t expect everyone to like you.
How do you reconcile with a girlfriend?
Every couple is going to get into a fight, and if you end up clashing with your girlfriend, reconciliation is important. Here are some ways to reconcile with grace.
How do you deal with haters?
No matter who you are, you’re going to have people who hate you, or at least dislike you and are always negative no matter what you do. Here are some ways you can deal with that:
How do you know if you can trust a girlfriend?
It can be hard to trust anyone, especially if you’ve been betrayed in the past by a close friend, partner or family member. If you’ve been hurt and betrayed at some point in your life, the state of your mental health has affected your ability to trust others, at least for some. However, your girlfriend may be someone you can trust, especially if:
If your girlfriend is all of the above and you have trust issues, you should consider counseling, mindfulness, meditation, and other resources. Counseling, mindfulness, meditation, and other forms of help are good for pushing back any self-defeating or negative thoughts that you may have.
How do you end a relationship?
Ending a relationship sounds easy. Just tell them it’s over, right? Well, for many, a break up is more challenging than that. You may feel like a relationship isn’t going anywhere, but you may not know how to end things. You may be afraid of hurting someone or their responses. Here are some tips.
What does it mean if you hate everyone?
Hating everyone is known as misanthropy. We all have certain types of people we dislike, and some we may even hate, but if you feel like you hate everyone, this is something you need to examine.
First, do you really hate everyone or just certain types of people? These types may appear on social media, like your coworkers, or out in public. You may be an introvert who dislikes talkative people, or you may hate the current state of politics and everyone involved in it. This may soon cause you to hate humanity in general with a broad brush.
While you’re allowed to dislike people, hating everyone is a bit of a toxic mindset and can ruin potential relationships. This is something you may want to seek help for. A counselor can provide advice, mental health counseling, and give you ways to look past your biases.
How do you get people to know you?
If you want to make friends, you have to get people to know who you are. First, an icebreaker always helps. Find something you have in common with them and discuss. Once you do that, move on to talking about other subjects.
The secret to getting people to know you are to speak. Be open and talkative. Obviously, don’t reveal every secret about yourself to a stranger, but ask questions and answer questions too. If you’re still having trouble, seek help from a counselor.
What do you do when your parents hate you?
Many people have felt their parents or other family members have hated them. From parents who always say no to teenagers clashing with their parents, we’ve all felt it.
However, there are parents and family members who legitimately dislike their children. Perhaps it’s because of a political or religious difference, or something in the past has made both parties clash. Either way, here are some things that you can do if your parents hate you.
Why is my girlfriend mean to me for no reason?
Do you feel as though your partner is passive aggressive? Or, does it feel as though she has a mandatory privacy terms that you must follow? This can be incredibly hurtful, especially if she is mean to you every day. The reason behind this might be that she is hurt by something you did, but she is failing to communicate about it. If you believe this is the case, it is best to confront her about it. Ask her what you did wrong, and apologize for hurting her feelings.
If there truly is no reason for her to be mad at you, then consider her emotional state. Is there something going on in her life that may hinder her mental health? It’s important to consider how she feels about other things going on in her life. Although treating someone badly because you are struggling with personal issues isn’t acceptable, it is understandable. It is best to talk things through with her and tell her that you are there for emotional support.
How do you know a girl hates you?
Is it OK to not want to be in a relationship?
Yes, it’s completely normal to want to be single. There are many stages in life where people want to embrace independence and not being tied down to a particular person. In fact, many people decide to be single for the rest of their lives. So, if you enjoy embracing your independence, don’t feel bad about it. Hopping into a relationship just because you feel like you should be in one can make you unhappy and feel unfulfilled.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is where the two partners argue all the time and purposefully hurt each other. For example, a toxic partner may make you jealous on purpose, or you might talk to other girls because you don’t care about hurting your girlfriend. Toxic relationships must be avoided at all costs. If you think you are in a toxic relationship, it is recommended you see a relationship counselor. Toxic relationships can be turned around and improved. But, if you don’t love your girlfriend, the work it takes may feel
Why does my girlfriend fart so much?
If you are disgusted with your girlfriend’s habit of farting, there could be a chance you are not in love with her. For most couples, this is just a normal thing that all humans do, and although it may be gross, it’s not a deal breaker. If it makes you unattracted to your girlfriend, there is a chance you have minimal attraction to her in the first place. But, to answer the question, she may have an abnormal amount of gas because of a food sensitivity like lactose intolerance.
How do you know if a girl is toxic?
You will know if a girl is toxic if she constantly tries to start arguments with you. If she gets mad at every little thing you do or is overly negative, she may have toxic traits. These traits can be fixed, which is important to know. However, it is not your job as a significant other to fix her. If you think your girlfriend has some toxic behaviors, recommend she goes to counseling. A licensed counselor will be able to help her get to the root of her toxic tendencies.
Is my relationship toxic?
If you are wondering if your relationship is toxic, then it likely is. For those in healthy relationships, they don’t second guess if it’s toxic. You are able to tell if you and your significant other better each other’s lives or make them worse. If you two argue constantly or degrade each other, something isn’t right. But, this doesn’t mean you must break up. If you two seek the help from a professional counselor, you may be able to get through it.
How is a relationship supposed to feel?
It is difficult to say how a relationship is supposed to feel as most people don’t say, “Let me share my experience with relationships,” and explain how they feel. However, they should feel happy most of the time, and you should feel that your partner makes you better. Perhaps it is best to look at friends and family to know if your relationship feels right. If they notice red flags, then be sure to take that into consideration. But, if you feel happy and that your relationship is going well, don’t break up with your girlfriend because your friends and family tell you to. Do what feels right to you and your own happiness.
Why people are jealous?
People get jealous because of insecurities. This could be insecurities about themselves or about their relationships. Even the most confident people can get jealous. For example, if someone saw their parents get a divorce due to an affair, this may be a deep insecurity of theirs. If you are with somehow who is insecure, they will likely need some reassurance that they have nothing to fear. It’s important to never confirm their insecurities, as this can destroy the self-esteem of your girlfriend.
How do you live with someone you hate?
It can be very emotionally taxing to live with someone who you don’t like being around. Whether it’s friends and family, or a girlfriend you’re living with, it is best to try to compromise. Figure out what the root cause of the problem is, and come up with a solution you both agree on. Talk out any arguments you two have had in the past and reconcile your relationship. It may feel like you hate the person now, but you will likely get along much better in the future if you talk it out.
How do I break up with someone I love?
If you aren’t happy at all with your partner, it’s important that you realize this is a sign there is a bigger problem in the relationship. If you haven’t felt the feeling of love towards your girlfriend in several months, it may be a sign that you two aren’t meant to be. Remember, it’s possible to love someone, but not be in love with them. Although it’s emotional to break up with someone who you have grown to love over several months or years, your happiness is worth it.
To break up with someone gently, it is best to sit them down in person and explain how you feel. Tell them that it’s just not working, and you feel you both would be better off. This can be incredibly difficult to do, especially when you still love them. But, it will be worth it when you are happier in the future.
Do you need a partner to be happy?
Absolutely not! In fact, if you do need a partner to feel happy, this can be a sign of codependency. You should feel happy and fulfilled on your own before you get into a serious and committed relationship. No matter how many months or years it has been without a partner, if you still don’t feel fulfilled on your own, then you may not be ready for a new relationship. You deserve to feel happy with yourself, rather than put all of your happiness in one person.
How do I know if I’m ready for a relationship?
You are ready for a relationship if you feel happy by yourself and love yourself. You should make a happy life for yourself with a great social life, future plans, and more. The right person will fit right into your plans and will just make you even happier. They will provide you emotional support when you need it, and they will act as a supplement in your life to make it better. When you feel a sense of independence, you are likely ready for the commitment of a relationship.
Problematic relationships can take a heavy emotional toll. But you don’t have to accept things the way they are. You’ll be able to enjoy a fulfilling relationship so long as you take the time to work on these issues. Take the first step today.
If you’re still wondering if therapy may be right for you, and how much therapy costs, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org. BetterHelp specializes in online therapy that helps address all types of psychological health concerns. If you’re interested in therapy, reach out today and get started.
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