I Don’t Understand Why Does My Girlfriend Hate Me?
All relationships change over time, and it’s not uncommon to reach a place where you get the idea that your partner just can’t stand you. You may even be asking yourself, “Why does my girlfriend hate me?” Although this happens in many relationships, that doesn’t make it any easier when it’s happening to you, especially when you still feel in love but are hurt about your girlfriend’s behavior. If you and your girlfriend are still together, then figuring out the root of her behaviors, potentially through online therapy, may be able to help you fix things and turn the situation around.
Hate is a strong word, so for starters, take a look at her behavior for a clue. Does she seem quick to snap at you? Do you notice her start arguments out of thin air? She may be upset at something or experiencing stress from a difficult situation that has nothing to do with you or your relationship. Pay attention to see if she mentions anything giving her trouble or causing her stress. In most cases, she may be taking out her frustrations on you without realizing it. If that’s the case, you’re in a good position to help her through her stress and difficulties, which will only strengthen her positive feelings for you when she gets past this hurdle.
It’s also possible you unknowingly did something that hurt her feelings or made her angry. Whatever the reason is, try to talk to her about what she’s feeling and her concerns. If the problem is something to do with you, you deserve to know so that you can either resolve it by apologizing or discuss what it means for your relationship in the future.
What Can I Do About Her Hating Me?
Your partner can’t read your mind-you need to express what they mean and what makes you upset to you because you may have different communication styles. It’s important to chat with her and explain how you are feeling to your girlfriend so she knows her behavior is affecting you. Have an honest conversation and tell your girlfriend you aren’t happy because you feel like you’re hated. Chances are, it’s easy to get comfortable in a relationship and assume your girlfriend knows you love her, care about her, and think highly of her. The best way to get her to stop acting like she hates you is for you to show your love for her with your actions, words, and body language. Model for her how you hope to be treated- expressing this can ignite the empathy in her.
Do things to make her feel special and put her in a good mood, without the expectation to fix things or getting anything out of it for yourself. When you remind your girlfriend that you care about her, she may figure that whatever you did wrong was unintentional and it will strengthen your partnership. Or if she was stressed about something outside your relationship, showing her tenderness may help her to relieve some of the tension and be better equipped to treat you well too. If this patches things up, make sure to practice it in the future so she knows that you are learning and willing to fix things.
If your girlfriend’s behavior continues to bother you, examine how long she’s treated you this way and whether she acts like this toward other people in her personal life too. If her behavior reflects a pattern of relationship issues, she may be struggling with a personal conflict. Either way, meeting together with a couples counselor may help you find out what is bothering her and how to help.
Identifying the Behaviors That Upset You In A Relationship
We sometimes have a sense that someone hates us without being able to pinpoint why we feel that way. This is completely normal, though having that sense is usually painful. Yet, you can’t resolve these feelings or fix things until you identify the exact behaviors that are making you feel unloved.
You’ll need to pay attention to her words, body language, and behaviors. You also need to consider what you do or say before these incidents happen. How do you know she hates you or has negative feelings toward you? Is it words, tone of voice, actions, gestures or facial expressions? Once you observe your relationship for some time and get to the bottom of your opinion, you can move on to deciding what you’re going to do about it. Online therapy has been proven to alleviate symptoms of depression and other mental health concerns.
Checking Your Expectations
When we meet a woman who appeals to us, those first encounters can seem magical. Everything these women say or do seems charming and interesting. They may treat us as if we’re the most attractive and fascinating person on earth. It can feel like no other girls in the world matter to you and that no other guys matter to her. They can feel like one of your closest friends because of your connection, even if the relationship is long distance.
But this kind of euphoria doesn’t last. Instead, we get back to being ourselves. This is a good thing because at that point you have an opportunity to see each other for who you really are and really visualize how a future together would look like. Though, it can also hurt when ordinary life settles in and you discover your differences and factors – those red flags that used to not bother in the past you suddenly start to, especially if we expect each other to behave as we did when we first met. You can start to realize it was all the “honeymoon phase” and that you aren’t happy. This is typically one of the many reasons the fights begin. Remember that this is a reality for all relationships and it isn't anyone's fault. When you think she hates you, consider that it might be that she’s just treating you more authentically than she was in the past. Instead of hanging on your every word and mood, she pays more attention to other things in the environment. That’s healthy. You probably want to know who your girlfriend really is, but you also liked the attention and admiration she gave you as her boyfriend at first. Resolving that dilemma can help you feel more at peace with the relationship. Your counselor can help you come up with ways to show your love for her. When you do, your girlfriend may just follow suit and you can learn to love each other's flaws as well.
Is She Depressed?
Your girlfriend might not hate you at all. Instead, her behavior might be an sign that she’s depressed. If so, it isn’t necessarily a reflection on you, or someone else, for that matter. Depression can arise from many different causes. Perhaps abuse, neglect or trauma from your girlfriend’s childhood is beginning to surface after years of dormancy. Maybe she’s having feelings that she’s wasting her life in an unfulfilling job that isn't meeting her needs. She may have low self-esteem because no one ever taught her to love herself. Whatever the reason, depression has several distinct symptoms you can watch for:
- Does she talk about being upset all the time or express feelings of sadness or hopelessness?
- Is she sleeping a lot or having insomnia?
- Does she seem unusually anxious or irritable?
- Has she stopped spending time with her friends?
- Has she stopped doing her favorite activities?
- Is she unusually restless or distracted?
- Does she seem lethargic?
- Has she developed some bad habits such as not changing her clothes?
What to Do If She Seems to Be Depressed
First of all, don’t jump to conclusions or feel bad for her. The signs listed above can indicate a problem that might be depression, but that determination should be made by a professional as they conduct research on this topic and are trained to deal with it. After all, many of these symptoms can be caused by physical ailments. You can suggest that a counselor might be able to help. Don’t nag or get angry. Merely offer this simple suggestion in the kindest, most loving and respectful way you can. Then leave the decision to her.
If there’s a possibility she’s depressed, it’s also important to take care of your own mental health. Her depressed behaviors can put a significant strain on you. You may engage in self-blame. You might become angry, mad, or upset with her for not seeking help, wondering why the two of you lack the skills to work through it together. Your self-esteem may suffer as you ask yourself why you can’t help her.
Talking to a counselor can give you the opportunity to learn more about how to help both yourself and her. You can find out how to manage your feelings in a way that doesn’t contribute negatively to her condition. Getting help for yourself won’t resolve every problem in your relationship or change your girlfriend’s feelings or behavior, but you can avoid making both your lives harder and can give you an advantage in dealing with problems as they arise.
What If I’m Right?
So, what if you’re right? What if your girlfriend really does hate you? It is a distinct possibility, especially if you have physically or verbally abused her. You may not even realize what you’re doing and saying are abuse. People who grew up in abusive households often see those behaviors as normal, because that was their normal for so many years. If so, your life doesn’t have to be over, but there’s a good chance your relationship with this person will be, at least until you change the way you think, talk, and behave. As a part of your therapy, you can examine your behaviors with your counselor to determine if you are indeed abusive. It takes a lot of work and commitment to overcome being an abuser, but it can be done. A licensed counselor is the right person to help you do it.
At the same time, your girlfriend may have her own issues to deal with. If this is true, you may want to examine the viability of the relationship and even consider to break up if it’s healthy thing to do. Going into couples counseling is a good first step as you begin to figure out the root the problems. You both may need to do individual work as well.
Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is a good way to get the help you need in order to address problems with your relationship, and BetterHelp is a great resource. Their counselors are available to help you understand the dynamics in your relationship so you can move forward. It is possible to fix a broken relationship on your own, but it’s a lot easier with a licensed therapist on your side. Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors, from people experiencing similar issues.
Counselor Reviews
“Mark is an amazing therapist. He listens so well and has such valuable insight on male and female perspectives and issues while also not passing judgment. I have only just begun, but he has already given me so many great takeaways to improve my relationships and situations. I am filled with gratitude, and I would highly recommend him to anyone!!”
“Dr. Murphy has been very helpful in identifying issues and behaviors that led me to withdraw from my relationships and now she is helping me to repair them.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs): Why does my girlfriend hate me?
What do I do if my girlfriend hates me?
You may ask yourself, “Why does she hate me?" If you think that your girlfriend hates you, you should first figure out why that is, and if she hates you at all. There’s a good chance that she doesn’t hate you; why would she be in a relationship with you if she hates you? However, she may be irritated or upset at something you’ve done or be mad at something else.
So, think about what you could have done wrong to make her feel bad, mad, or upset. If you’re unable to find a reason, consider if there’s something in her personal life. Is she mad over something at her job? Is stress about school affecting her behavior? There are many reasons why she may seem angrier than usual.
Your best bet is to simply talk to your girlfriend and ask if there’s anything you can do for her.
If there’s a reason she dislikes you, or if she says it’s nothing and you still have your suspicions and ask yourself, “Why does she hate me?” this may be something worth speaking to a counselor or therapist with. Above all, remember that your self-respect and integrity are more important than toxic relationships. If you are in a relationship with a person that constantly makes you feel bad about yourself, a break up may be the healthier option for you.
How do you know if your girlfriend hates you?
If you ask yourself, “Why does she hate me?” it’s wise to learn if she does dislike you, or if it’s in your head. Maybe she doesn’t hate you but has something else going on.
There’s also the problem of misinterpretations. Some people may naturally be standoffish or come across as they dislike you, but they don’t mind you or may like you, as a matter of fact. Then, there are those who will act like they’re your best friend, but they actually hate you.
If you want to know if your girlfriend hates you, there are a few signs that may indicate that something is wrong, such as:
- Her texts are much less detailed. Sometimes, you may get the dreaded one word reply or the infamous “K” as a response when you try to talk to her or express your feelings.
- Her body language has changed. She now seems uneasy when she’s around you. She looks the other way or looks nervous whenever she talks to you.
- Your girlfriend seems to talk to other people more than you nowadays, such as her friends or someone else who you may see as a threat to your relationship.
- You’ve noticed changes after an argument or another event that could have made her upset or hurt.
- In the end, it’s difficult to know if someone hates you or not. Couples therapy may help you sort things out. However, if someone dislikes you and doesn’t want to admit it, maybe it’s time to move on from the relationship.
- Also, remember that there is a big difference between hate and irritation. Your girlfriend may still love you, but you’ve done something to make her upset, and it may take a little bit before you’re on good terms with her again.
How do you get back a girlfriend that hates you?
You may wonder, “Why would I want to be in a relationship with someone who hates me?” and that’s true. However, some girlfriends who “hate” you are just annoyed at you, and there are ways you can win them back. Here are some ways to do so.
- First, simply ask. Have I done something to hurt you? What can I do to do better in the future? One thing you deserve and should expect from your girlfriend is communication. Your girlfriend should tell you what’s wrong and what you can do to fix it.
- When a relationship is being repaired, your girl friend may put you to the test. You don’t need to win her over by buying her flowers all day, but impressing her is good advice.
- Give her time. If your girlfriend hates you for something, leave her alone for some space. If it wasn’t a relationship breaker, she might heal with time. Your girlfriend may hate you now, but later on, your girlfriend may hate you a little less, and then want to repair the relationship later on.
- Have you and your partner talk to a couples therapist. Sometimes, the best way to repair a relationship is to talk with a therapist or counselor about your problems, and then use the advice, mental health techniques, and other pieces of wisdom to heal the relationship.
How do you know if someone hates you secretly?
There are many people who dislike you or downright hate you – even people from your family or individuals you thought were your friends – but to be nice or keep the peace, they may not tell you. Sometimes, you’ll never know for sure what someone thinks about you; they may give off mixed signals, and some people who seem hateful actually like you and vice versa. However, there are some ways you can figure it out.
- They ignore all your messages or respond with one word.
- The person always has an excuse to leave whenever you’re around. However, they can be around others and make plans for the future with friends with no problem.
- You only talk to them when you’re with a mutual friend. To them, you may be the packaged deal in the friendship.
- Their body language seems off. They don’t look at you, or they may wince whenever they see you.
These are just a few examples, but as we said, it’s hard to tell. Some people have awkward body language or are simply bad with communication. In the end, they have to tell you directly. And sometimes, you just think everyone hates you. If you’re like that, seeking help from a counselor is important. They can give you advice, mental health news, and techniques to cope with your self-doubt. When you’re getting counseling, the nonjudgmental therapeutic relationships empower you and allow you to stand up for yourself.
How do you make someone hate you?
No one wants to be hated, yet it’s extremely easy to make someone hate you since everyone has their own pet peeve that will set them against you. When you think about making someone hate you, you may imagine you doing something to them that is unforgivable, such as stealing from them, but people can hate you for many reasons, including:
- Posting certain things on social media.
- Being too negative or positive. Either side can make someone irritated, no matter who you are.
- Revealing too much about yourself or your private life. Some people like when you talk about yourself and get personal, but others may feel a little turned off over it and end up disliking you extremely as a result.
- Being more successful than another person. Envy can be powerful, and even if you make a little more money than someone, it can make that person dislike you.
- A bad first impression. If someone met you on your off day or during an awkward situation that’s not normal of you, that first impression could make people dislike you even if you’ve had better impressions afterward.
- Doing nothing. Yes, sometimes people will dislike you and be mad at you for literally no reason. You may just give off a vibe or emotion that they don’t like, and nothing you do can change their mind.
So, as you can see, people will dislike you for many reasons, and you can’t expect everyone to like you.
How do you reconcile with a girlfriend?
Every couple is going to get into a fight, and if you end up clashing with your girlfriend, reconciliation is important. Here are some ways to reconcile with grace.
- Give your girl friend some space if you hurt her feelings, but also don’t wait too long to reconcile. You want some time for the both of you to return to cooler heads, but you don’t want to put it on the back burner.
- Acknowledge your mistakes. Even if you feel like you were in the right with the argument, you want to ensure your girlfriend that you made some mistakes.
- Ask about how partner feels. Tell your girlfriend, “Did you find me hurtful when we argued?” Have an honest conversation about your emotions.
- Ask if there’s anything you can do to make it up.
- Try going on a little date or doing something else to help get your minds off the incident.
- If your girlfriend still doesn’t forgive you, you can’t force forgiveness. Instead, you should realize that you’ve done all you could.
How do you deal with haters?
No matter who you are, you’re going to have people who hate you, or at least dislike you and are always negative no matter what you do. Here are some ways you can deal with that:
- Know the difference between a hater and someone who cares about you and is offering criticism or advice. If someone has a good reason to be against something you’re doing, listen to the advice and see if you agree. If someone is calling you names and has nothing to contribute, they’re a hater.
- Ignore them. “Don’t feed the trolls” is good advice for a reason. When you engage with a hater, you’re feeding their desires to make you miserable. Of course, some haters still pursue, but ignoring is a good first step.
- Hit that block button. Don’t give them any of your time so they don’t have the opportunity to hurt you.
- If you do have to talk to a hater, be nice to them. Kill them with kindness.
How do you know if you can trust a girlfriend?
If you’ve been hurt and betrayed at some point in your life, the state of your mental health has affected your ability to trust others, at least for some. However, your girlfriend may be someone you can trust, especially if:
- You’ve been with her for a long time.
- You’ve opened up about personal details, and she hasn’t told anyone.
- She’s done the same, opening up about every experience she has.
- Your girlfriend has had a history of being honest.
If your girlfriend is all of the above and you have trust issues, you should consider counseling, mindfulness, meditation, and other resources. Counseling, mindfulness, meditation, and other forms of help are good for pushing back any self-defeating or negative thoughts that you may have.
How do you end a relationship?
Ending a relationship sounds easy. Just tell them it’s over, right? Well, for many, a break up is more challenging than that. You may feel like a relationship isn’t going anywhere, but you may not know how to end things. You may be afraid of hurting someone or their responses. Here are some tips.
- First, make sure you want to end it. You may have gotten into an argument with your partner and thought it was a sign that you had to break up, but with time, you can resolve this argument. Don’t end a relationship in a heated argument. Instead, make sure that your mind is clear.
- In most cases, do it in person. If the relationship is abusive, you may not want to do it in person (or even tell your partner at all,) and if the relationship is long-distance, doing it in person is difficult. But in most cases, do it in person.
- Realize that it’s going to hurt. It’ll hurt you, and it’ll hurt your partner. However, it’ll hurt more the longer the relationship goes on, especially if the two of you just weren’t meant to be.
- Be direct. Explain why the relationship is ended, but don’t go into too much detail if you don’t feel comfortable doing so.
- You may hear protests but make it firm that it’s over.
- Give it time. Give yourself time to heal and give yourself time away from the person you’re breaking up from.
- If you don’t want to end a relationship, or don’t know how, a therapist or counselor can help.
What does it mean if you hate everyone?
Hating everyone is known as misanthropy. We all have certain types of people we dislike, and some we may even hate, but if you feel like you hate everyone, this is something you need to examine.
First, do you really hate everyone or just certain types of people? These types may appear on social media, like your coworkers, or out in public. You may be an introvert who dislikes talkative people, or you may hate the current state of politics and everyone involved in it. This may soon cause you to hate humanity in general with a broad brush.
While you’re allowed to dislike people, hating everyone is a bit of a toxic mindset and can ruin potential relationships. This is something you may want to seek help for. A counselor can provide advice, mental health counseling, and give you ways to look past your biases.
How do you get people to know you?
If you want to make friends, you have to get people to know who you are. First, an icebreaker always helps. Find something you have in common with them and discuss. Once you do that, move on to talking about other subjects.
The secret to getting people to know you are to speak. Be open and talkative. Obviously, don’t reveal every secret about yourself to a stranger, but ask questions and answer questions too. If you’re still having trouble, seek help from a counselor.
What do you do when your parents hate you?
From parents who always say no to teenagers clashing with their parents, we’ve all felt it.
Perhaps it’s because of a political or religious difference, or something in the past has made both parties clash. Either way, here are some things that you can do if your parents hate you.
- Live your best life you can. If you’re an independent adult, you should just live your life and don’t expect your parents to approve of what you do. Sometimes, the best solution is to live a great life.
- If the disagreement can be resolved through communication, try it. Sometimes, your parents may have resented you for something you did, but when the time has passed, you may discover that they do still love you, but they’re afraid of communication.
- If you’re still living with your parents, it can be tricky. If you’re an adult, try to save money and have an exit plan. If you’re still a teenager, remember that this will all pass. When you’re a teen, time seems to go on forever, but once you hit the age of adulthood, you can spread your wings and fly.
- If all else fails, family therapy may help resolve disagreements. A counselor or therapist can help, as they’re supportive and nonjudgmental. They try to find common ground and repair relationships, and if the relationship cannot be repaired, they can teach you ways you can live without your parents.
Why is my girlfriend mean to me for no reason?
Do you feel as though your partner is passive aggressive? Or, does it feel as though she has a mandatory privacy terms that you must follow? This can be incredibly hurtful, especially if she is mean to you every day. The reason behind this might be that she is hurt by something you did, but she is failing to communicate about it. If you believe this is the case, it is best to confront her about it. Ask her what you did wrong, and apologize for hurting her feelings.
If there truly is no reason for her to be mad at you, then consider her emotional state. Is there something going on in her life that may hinder her mental health? It’s important to consider how she feels about other things going on in her life. Although treating someone badly because you are struggling with personal issues isn’t acceptable, it is understandable. It is best to talk things through with her and tell her that you are there for emotional support.
How do you know a girl hates you?
If you feel as though you constantly violate your girlfriend’s “privacy policy terms” and are getting in trouble, it can certainly feel as though she hates you. However, this may not be the case. As mentioned above, your partner may be going through something. Or, she may be stressed out and feel as though the relationship is just another thing to juggle. So, she lashes out in anger, which can feel like hatred. It is best to let her know that you feel hated. Then, hopefully she will fix her hurtful behaviors. But, if you continue to feel hated by a girl in your life, it may be best to step away, as this feeling of hatred can damage your self-esteem.
Is it OK to not want to be in a relationship?
Yes, it’s completely normal to want to be single. There are many stages in life where people want to embrace independence and not being tied down to a particular person. In fact, many people decide to be single for the rest of their lives. So, if you enjoy embracing your independence, don’t feel bad about it. Hopping into a relationship just because you feel like you should be in one can make you unhappy and feel unfulfilled.
What is a toxic relationship?
A toxic relationship is where the two partners argue all the time and purposefully hurt each other. For example, a toxic partner may make you jealous on purpose, or you might talk to other girls because you don’t care about hurting your girlfriend. Toxic relationships must be avoided at all costs. If you think you are in a toxic relationship, it is recommended you see a relationship counselor. Toxic relationships can be turned around and improved. But, if you don’t love your girlfriend, the work it takes may feel
Why does my girlfriend fart so much?
If you are disgusted with your girlfriend’s habit of farting, there could be a chance you are not in love with her. For most couples, this is just a normal thing that all humans do, and although it may be gross, it’s not a deal breaker. If it makes you unattracted to your girlfriend, there is a chance you have minimal attraction to her in the first place. But, to answer the question, she may have an abnormal amount of gas because of a food sensitivity like lactose intolerance.
How do you know if a girl is toxic?
You will know if a girl is toxic if she constantly tries to start arguments with you. If she gets mad at every little thing you do or is overly negative, she may have toxic traits. These traits can be fixed, which is important to know. However, it is not your job as a significant other to fix her. If you think your girlfriend has some toxic behaviors, recommend she goes to counseling. A licensed counselor will be able to help her get to the root of her toxic tendencies.
Is my relationship toxic?
If you are wondering if your relationship is toxic, then it likely is. For those in healthy relationships, they don’t second guess if it’s toxic. You are able to tell if you and your significant other better each other’s lives or make them worse. If you two argue constantly or degrade each other, something isn’t right. But, this doesn’t mean you must break up. If you two seek the help from a professional counselor, you may be able to get through it.
How is a relationship supposed to feel?
However, they should feel happy most of the time, and you should feel that your partner makes you better. Perhaps it is best to look at friends and family to know if your relationship feels right. If they notice red flags, then be sure to take that into consideration. But, if you feel happy and that your relationship is going well, don’t break up with your girlfriend because your friends and family tell you to. Do what feels right to you and your own happiness.
Why people are jealous?
People get jealous because of insecurities. This could be insecurities about themselves or about their relationships. Even the most confident people can get jealous. For example, if someone saw their parents get a divorce due to an affair, this may be a deep insecurity of theirs. If you are with somehow who is insecure, they will likely need some reassurance that they have nothing to fear. It’s important to never confirm their insecurities, as this can destroy the self-esteem of your girlfriend.
How do you live with someone you hate?
It can be very emotionally taxing to live with someone who you don’t like being around. Whether it’s friends and family, or a girlfriend you’re living with, it is best to try to compromise. Figure out what the root cause of the problem is, and come up with a solution you both agree on. Talk out any arguments you two have had in the past and reconcile your relationship. It may feel like you hate the person now, but you will likely get along much better in the future if you talk it out.
How do I break up with someone I love?
If you aren’t happy at all with your partner, it’s important that you realize this is a sign there is a bigger problem in the relationship. If you haven’t felt the feeling of love towards your girlfriend in several months, it may be a sign that you two aren’t meant to be. Remember, it’s possible to love someone, but not be in love with them. Although it’s emotional to break up with someone who you have grown to love over several months or years, your happiness is worth it.
To break up with someone gently, it is best to sit them down in person and explain how you feel. Tell them that it’s just not working, and you feel you both would be better off. This can be incredibly difficult to do, especially when you still love them. But, it will be worth it when you are happier in the future.
Do you need a partner to be happy?
Absolutely not! In fact, if you do need a partner to feel happy, this can be a sign of codependency. You should feel happy and fulfilled on your own before you get into a serious and committed relationship. No matter how many months or years it has been without a partner, if you still don’t feel fulfilled on your own, then you may not be ready for a new relationship. You deserve to feel happy with yourself, rather than put all of your happiness in one person.
How do I know if I’m ready for a relationship?
You are ready for a relationship if you feel happy by yourself and love yourself. You should make a happy life for yourself with a great social life, future plans, and more. The right person will fit right into your plans and will just make you even happier. They will provide you emotional support when you need it, and they will act as a supplement in your life to make it better. When you feel a sense of independence, you are likely ready for the commitment of a relationship.
In Conclusion
Problematic relationships can take a heavy emotional toll. But you don’t have to accept things the way they are. You’ll be able to enjoy a fulfilling relationship so long as you take the time to work on these issues. Take the first step today.
If you’re still wondering if therapy may be right for you, and how much therapy costs, please contact us at contact@betterhelp.com. BetterHelp specializes in online therapy that helps address all types of psychological health concerns. If you’re interested in therapy, reach out today and get started.
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