Sex Therapy Online: Find Therapy Help For Sex Concerns From a Therapist

There are many reasons to seek out a "certified sex therapist near me." Sex can be a significant part of people's lives, and challenges or sexual issues like sexual dysfunction, pain, traumatic experiences, or other sexual concerns can be difficult to manage. Some people visit a sex therapist for education, to improve intercourse, or intimacy exercises they can learn with their partner. What does a sex therapist do? Note that sex therapy does not involve any sexual activity with the therapist, whether in person or online. Instead, it is a talk therapy that allows clients to discuss concerns and develop a treatment plan. 

For many, sexual problems or challenges like sexual shame are related to mental health. Physical sex difficulties, such as pain during intimate sex, may also have mental and emotional aspects that can be alleviated through sex therapy.

If you are experiencing sexual challenges, online support is available, and you're not alone.

What is a sex therapist? Sex therapist's role in sex therapy

A qualified sex therapist is a title given to a licensed mental health professionals certified through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). They are experts at treating sexual issues, including a couple’s sexual life and sexual well-being. These mental health professionals have a license in their state to hold sex therapy sessions.

• A sex therapist can often offer other types of counseling, as they have the same education as other licensed mental health providers at their level. 

What is a sex therapist, and how can sex therapy with a professional sex therapist help me? 

Talking about sex may feel uncomfortable at first for many clients. However, sessions with a sex therapist can ease these feelings of discomfort for many. Sex therapists, both in online and in person, are trained in various areas and often have extensive experience in treating the following concerns: 

• A lack of sexual desire
• Premature ejaculation
• Anxiety about sexual contact
• A traumatic sexual history or abuse* 
• Difficulty finding healthy relationships 
• A lack of intimacy in a relationship 
• Difficulty communicating about sex with partners
• Body image concerns
• Mismatching sexual fantasies or desires in a relationship 
• Mismatching libido in a relationship 
• Confusion about sexuality or gender identity 
• Pain during sex
• Difficulty having an orgasm 

Other Common Issues Sex Therapists Treat

Sex therapists often work to help clients have a healthy sex life or increase sexual satisfaction. This might mean addressing specific sexual concerns such as low libido, sexual confidence, or sexual functioning. It might also involve relationship issues stemming from the couple’s sexual experience. However, some clients may also work with a therapist to have self-confidence, understand more about human sexuality, feel comfortable in their bodies, or understand their sexual needs and identity.

• Sex therapy may not only be focused on sexual activity
• Sex therapy may help clients set realistic expectations
• Sex therapy might also address communication skills
• Sex therapy may also address underlying emotional issues
• Sex therapy may focus on increasing sexual pleasure

For many, identity and self-esteem are tied to these topics. 

Sex therapy topics

Below is further clarification on the topics that a sex therapist might offer support with. However, the list is not comprehensive. You can contact one of these professionals anytime if you feel their services could support you. 

Sexual arousal challenges 

Sexual arousal challenges like erectile dysfunction, vaginal dryness, or difficulty feeling sexual attraction can be addressed in sex therapy. Sexual arousal challenges are not limited to gender, and sex therapists may use various techniques to address them, such as conversational activities, discussion of past events, and communication lessons. 

Performance frustration

Sexual performance challenges can be addressed in sex therapy. 43% of women and 31% of men report sexual dysfunction in their relationships. Challenges like struggling to pleasure a partner or find pleasure during sex can cause frustration and other unwanted emotions. Physical issues like pain or difficulty getting an erection can also cause challenges with performance. 

A sex therapist, whether online or in person, can help individuals or couples understand any potential underlying causes of their sexual challenges. If the individuals are a couple, they can learn exercises at home to increase arousal, comfort, and intimacy in their interactions. 

• Removing pressure from sex may help many individuals feel safer exploring their bodies. 

Intimacy issues

Intimacy issues might make it difficult for individuals to feel close to one another. Intimacy can be sexual, emotional, or physical. At times, people may struggle to have healthy sexual lives because they feel their emotional intimacy or love is lacking. Without love, sexual intimacy may not be possible for some partners. 

• A sex therapist can help these individuals or couples increase love and emotional connection in their lives. 

For some individuals, intimacy may be scary and cause anxiety. A sex therapist, both online and in person, can help them understand the root of their sexual fears and feel safer setting boundaries and saying "no" when they don't want to have sex. Consent can be crucial to a healthy encounter, and many people may struggle with having sex when they do not want to. 

Body image

Many intimacy concerns may be related to body image. In these cases, the therapist can help the couple understand consent, discuss body image, promote sex positivity, and partake in safe exercises and activities for both people. Body image issues may be overcome with time, but the pressure to be naked before one is ready may cause a worsening feeling of shame or guilt. In these cases, a therapist can help the individual work up to what they're comfortable with.

How sex therapy addresses medical and psychological causes

While sex therapy can provide behavioral interventions to address psychological causes of sexual dysfunction, it’s important to point out that sex therapists do not have the proper qualifications needed for treating sexual issues stemming from medical conditions. If you have a physical illness or condition that affects your sexual functioning or libido, it can be crucial to seek assistance from a doctor or other medical professional. 

What happens during sex therapy sessions?

During sex therapy sessions, you’ll mostly talk with your partner and your therapist. Discussions might include feelings about certain types of physical contact as well as your overall sexual life and sexual well-being. As your therapist learns more about each individual and the relationship as a whole, they may recommend behavioral interventions or provide sex education  to help you overcome obstacles to a fulfilling sex life.

What is sex therapy?

Many challenges with sexual intimacy may arise from couples struggling to connect, communicate, and understand each other's needs. Couples sex therapy, both in person and online, aims to assist in overcoming barriers like anxiety, past adverse experiences, or body image issues that add emotional blockages to sexual intercourse.

Sex therapists can help guide couples to overcome barriers

In many cases, sexual problems add a layer of shame or guilt to communication that makes it difficult to tell your partner what you need. A sex therapist can help partners remove these barriers and rebuild intimacy.

• Many couples benefit from putting sex on the back burner while working with a therapist to discuss these concerns in more detail.

Sensate focusing 

In sensate-focused therapy, both partners learn to touch non-sexual areas of the body, such as the arm, to know what it's like to give and receive consensual touch in a safe environment with communication.

Cuddling 

Partners may learn to hug each other, cuddle, and lay in silence to increase intimacy without sexual intercourse or other sexual acts. 

Eye contact exercises

Partners can learn to find intimate feelings by looking into each other's eyes and connecting emotionally before sex. 

Consent exercises 

In consent exercises, the partners take turns asking for non-sexual touches, such as "can you touch my arm?" In the first round, partners say "no" to every request. In the second round, they practice saying "yes" to every request. In the third round, they only say "yes" to what they want. Doing so can help them understand what it feels like to say "yes" or "no" when you don't want to. Understanding this technique can allow them to further understand consent and accept a "no."  

Experimental sexual touching

With experimental touching, couples can go home and practice consent with sexual touch. Instead of having sex as usual, they might play the consent game again with sexual touches. However, in this exercise, they respond honestly or practice saying "no." For example, they could ask, "Can I kiss you there?" The partner then responds with "yes" or "no," and they continue the exercise. Sexual exercises are not performed in session with a therapist but at home or in a safe, non-public location outside of sessions. 

Barriers 

A sex therapist, whether online or in person, may also help couples understand any barriers to healthy sexual intercourse. For example, if they struggle to communicate or one partner has a lower sex drive, these causes can be discussed. The therapist may also help the couple understand that how often they have sex doesn't necessarily define how healthy or "favorable" their sex life is. 

Can sex therapists help with mental health problems related to sexual trauma? 

Many individuals may come to sex therapy to learn how past experiences may impact specific sexual concerns such as sexual desire or performance. As studies show that the body can remember the trauma and cause physical pain and other distressing symptoms, sex can be challenging, shameful, or painful for someone with sexual trauma. Trusting an intimate partner can require vulnerability that may be challenging for a survivor. This can sometimes cause couples relationship issues stemming from a lack of intimacy. 

Overcoming mental health challenges after sexual trauma

The statistics show that one in six American women have experienced an assault or attempted assault in their lifetime. For many, talking about these experiences can be vital to a healthy sex life. Sex therapists can help these individuals of all genders and sexual orientations address trauma and feel safe, possibly resulting in a more fulfilling sexual life and improved sexual well-being.

Can sex therapy help a sex addiction? 

Sex addiction is a psychological dependency on sexual behavior that a sex therapist may treat. Compulsive sexual behavior can cause distress, emotional consequences, and difficulty with intimacy. It may also accompany compulsive porn watching or masturbation, which can be distressing for those who experience it. For some, sex addiction accompanies infidelity or unsafe sexual risks. A sex therapist can help these individuals understand the motives behind their behavior, make changes in their relationships, and feel healthy. 

The difference between a sex therapist and a sex counselor

Sometimes, the terms “sex therapist” and “sex counselor” are used interchangeably, but there is an important distinction. Sex counselors can include several different types of professionals, including health care workers and religious advisors. These counselors may be able to provide accurate sex education and resources for short-term medical conditions or mental health issues. However, they are not licensed mental health professionals. 

Sex therapists are credentialed mental health professionals with specialized training and clinical experience in mental health and psychology. They can offer more in-depth services than a sex counselor, and they could be better suited for long-term problems or more complex relationship issues. 

Education and training of sex therapists

Various mental health professionals can provide sex therapy, including a marriage and family therapist or clinical social worker. However, to practice as a sex therapist, a professional must hold a master’s degree or doctoral degree in clinical psychology or mental health counseling with specialized training in sex education or sex counseling. They must also hold a certain number of hours of clinical experience before they’re able to treat clients without supervision. 

Does sex therapy help?

Online sex therapy may be an effective solution for those seeking help with sexual issues but find in-person sessions daunting. Certified sex therapists may offer online sex therapy services that focus specifically on sexual health and well-being. Such sessions may help couples and individuals create a fulfilling sex life by treating sexual problems in a safe and supportive environment. Online therapy services focused on sex may vary in their approach but generally include licensed therapists who are specially trained in sex therapy programs.

When choosing an online sex therapist, it's important to look for a certified sex therapist who has undergone sex therapy training. This ensures that the sex therapy focuses on your concerns with an educated and sensitive approach. 

Confidentiality and ethics in sex therapy

Licensed mental health professionals are held to a high standard of ethics to ensure a discrete clinical experience for their clients. You can rest assured that whatever you tell your sex therapist will be confined to the walls of the therapy room, whether they be physical or virtual. There is an exception to this rule, however. If the therapist has reason to believe someone is being abused or otherwise harmed, they may have a duty to report their suspicions.

How does online sex therapy work?

An online sex therapy session typically involves communication with a licensed therapist via video calls, phone calls, or live chat. Many online sex therapy platforms may allow clients to use a nickname for a layer of secrecy. This feature may be particularly appealing to those who value discretion while seeking professional help. 

Online sex therapy structured through these platforms provides a flexible and accessible alternative to traditional therapy, catering to the unique needs of each client. Whether it's couples therapy, relationship counseling, or individual sessions, online counseling can help identify and treat sexual problems without the need for in-person therapy sessions.

How sex therapy can improve your sexual well-being

In addition, studies have found that online sex therapy services for specific sexual concerns (e.g., sexual confidence, sexual well-being, and relationship issues stemming from problems in a couple’s sexual life) have the potential to benefit clients in similar ways to in-person therapy when treating sexual issues. For example, one study researching sexual function after a medical diagnosis found that individuals could increase sexual activity, improve sexual function, feel comfortable using sexual aids, and engage actively in treatment.

How to find a qualified sex therapist

If you're interested in meeting with a sex therapist online, consider signing up for a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or Regain for couples. Both platforms offer thousands of therapists, many of whom specialize in treating sexual issues, and you can note your intentions for therapy as soon as you sign up. Remember that a sex therapist can hold one of many different titles, including a marriage and family therapist, licensed professional counselor, or clinical social worker, but these licensed mental health professionals also have specialized training and clinical experience in sex therapy and relationship issues. They can treat individuals of all genders and sexual orientations as well as people in non-traditional relationships