Have you started to notice some differences in the bedroom? Maybe you've always had a little bit of trouble, or maybe it only started recently. Maybe it's physical or maybe it's psychological. No matter what’s going on, you can often get help from a sex therapy professional who is ready and willing to work with you to overcome your situation while helping you work through your questions and concerns.

Whatever you may have heard, couples sex therapy, even online therapy for sex, and sex psychology is a legitimate field of work where you can get professional and discreet help for these personal concerns. Not only may your sexual life and sexual relations improve with sex therapy, but you may also notice a difference in your stress levels, mental health, emotional intimacy with your partner, and overall relationship well-being.

What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy has long had a negative rap because it's considered something inappropriate or untoward, but that's not the case at all.

A sex therapist near me or you will work with you to talk about what's going on in your life and try to find the cause behind the problems that you are facing, such as performance anxiety.

It's possible that thoughts or beliefs about sex while growing up could alter the way someone thinks and feels about it even as they grow into adulthood. A specific situation in adulthood also could change the way that someone thinks or feels about sex and their own sexuality to lead to a healthy sex life.

Some of the common ways that you will work on sexual problems are through communication with a partner, focusing more on your experiences with your partner, watching educational videos or changing the methods by which you interact with your partner and many others. Each of these methods will involve you alone or you with your current partner. There is no physical contact between you and a sex therapist, which is how the level of professionalism is maintained.  Individual therapy sessions may be incorporated into the counseling process, but it’s common for most sessions to involve both partners. It can be important to feel comfortable with your therapist, as you will likely discuss emotional factors and intimate details. Your therapist may teach you helpful coping mechanisms and ways to foster physical and emotional intimacy.

What does sex therapy address?

In this type of therapy, practically anything related to sex can be addressed. For example, you may want to talk about sexual functions, feelings, unwanted sexual fetishism, or intimacy. All of these are completely appropriate to sex therapy and could be discussed individually or in a couple’s session. 

It also isn’t just confined to traditional relationships; sex therapy uses a variety of approaches that can work for any sexual relationship type. Understanding and coming to accept and thrive in your sexuality, no matter what that may look like for you, is important to your overall well-being. Being able to enjoy your life with a partner is going to help you feel better about yourself and the other aspects of your life, especially through mindfulness-based sex therapy.

Some people experience concern about their sexual orientation, their sexual desire, or their sexual behavior. Some may have compulsive behaviors related to sex, or may just act impulsively. Some may have erectile dysfunction concerns or sexual dysfunctions in general or pain during intercourse. There may also be intimacy issues related to physical or psychological issues. What does a sex therapist do? Any of these kinds of situations can be addressed with a certified sex therapist, and they can all be done in a highly organized way. 

There is no one “normal” way to be sexual or have sexual function; with sex therapy sessions, you can learn more about your normal way.

The difficulty of sex therapy

For many people, however, sex is simply not something that is talked about, and it might be difficult to discuss with one partner let alone a stranger who is not part of your relationship. Sometimes, though, it's only by talking about sex and everything associated with it that you will be able to start working toward changes and improvements for your life. If you're willing and able to start pushing your boundaries, you will be able to change the way that you feel about yourself and your partner, as well as how you and your partner (or future partner) feel about you.

Many people also have difficulty understanding how sex therapy can help them or may have difficulty coming to terms with the idea of going to a sex therapy session. Because of the way it's often portrayed in movies and the jokes made about it in other areas, many have a hard time thinking of this therapy the way it's supposed to be. It's all about teaching you how to be more open and more comfortable with sex and helping you to overcome any physical or psychological blocks you may have in regard to sex.

Is there something else going on?

If you’re experiencing persistent sexual health concerns that cause you stress or impact relationship well-being, you may want to talk with a professional about anything that's going on in your life outside of intimacy to find out more about what might be happening in a therapist's office. If you are experiencing other problems in your life and in regard to your mental health, you may want to treat those situations as well and start working toward better understanding and improving your mental health. 

Whether sex therapy is the only type of counseling that you're looking for or part of a larger problem, you can find exactly what you need and start working your way toward the physical and emotional life you want. Learning healthy coping mechanisms and strategies for fostering emotional intimacy can enhance your sexual life. Seeing a medical doctor, clinical social worker, and getting a physical exam in addition to sex therapy can be beneficial not just one partner, but both partners.

Finding a sex therapist

When you've checked all of their credentials, and you know that you're working with someone who knows what they're doing, you also want to find out how you feel around them. If you're not comfortable talking to them and opening up to them, you're not going to be able to get anywhere with your sex therapy. Make sure the person you choose is one that you can talk with about anything, no matter how uncomfortable it might seem. It’s okay and completely normal to not jive with the first therapist you try – that’s what helps us figure out the sort of help that we do or don’t need!

How sex therapy helps improve sexual and emotional intimacy

Sex therapy can improve a person’s sexual life and emotional intimacy with their partner by addressing any physical and psychological factors contributing to sexual challenges. For example, there are often emotional factors that lead to difficulty with arousal and orgasm. By addressing relationship satisfaction and sexual health holistically, it’s possible for a couple to grow closer and enjoy more fulfilling sexual relations.

The therapeutic process: Building trust and respect

As sex therapy usually involves talking about intimate details in couples and individual therapy sessions to foster physical and emotional intimacy, it can be vital to have a therapist you trust and feel comfortable with. In general, much of the success of counseling relies on a strong therapeutic alliance. If you don’t feel comfortable enough to open up with your therapist, consider looking for a different provider.

Addressing emotional and physical factors in sexual health

It’s common for both physical health and emotional factors to play a role in sexual well-being. Counseling can help you understand how stress and a lack of emotional intimacy may affect arousal and other aspects of sexual relations.

Sex therapy techniques and approaches

Common techniques for sex therapy include the following:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy, which can help individuals understand how their thoughts impact their emotions and behaviors
• Sensate focus, which emphasizes mindful touching
• Coping mechanisms for stress reduction
• Communication strategies for improved emotional intimacy

These and other techniques may be used in couples or individual therapy sessions.

Common challenges discussed in sex therapy

Challenges discussed in sex therapy can vary widely. Below are several examples of topics that may be covered in counseling sessions:

• Difficulty with arousal and/or orgasm
• Sexual trauma
• Relationship conflicts
• Emotional intimacy challenges
• Other concerns related to sexual relations

Support options 

Once you know all of the things you're looking for, you need to know where to look, and one of the best places for you to look is BetterHelp. You'll find thousands of great therapists there, each with a plethora of training and experience, and most with multiple different types of certifications and backgrounds so as to better treat all manner of conditions in a well-rounded and multi-faceted fashion.

Online therapy has been found to be just as effective as in-person therapy. In regards to sex therapy in particular, one study found that internet-based cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) was quite effective in restoring sexual functioning, desire, drive, and positive body image for women with female sexual dysfunction spurred by breast cancer. Online CBT therapy has also been found to be very effective in helping those with anxiety, including sexual anxiety.