Are you wondering how to stop liking someone? This is not an uncommon occurrence. Once you've recognized all the reasons that it might be better to move on from this person, rather than cause a nasty breakup, lose a friend, or make your work life more complicated, considering these tips on how to stop talking to someone may help you move forward with your life and look for new romance in the dating pool.
How To Avoid Liking Someone You Can't Date
Keep It Appropriate
It may be wise to keep your relationship with this person appropriate to the circumstances and avoid things or situations that might spark romance. If you tend to have romantic feelings for your boss, for example, make sure to keep all your interactions professional and respectful. If you find yourself thinking, "why am I suddenly attracted to my friend?" but know they don't share your feelings, then you may want to commit to just being friends. When figuring out how to get over someone, it can be helpful to limit your interactions to ones that are appropriate for your relationship. Eventually, your feelings may start to fade.
Spend Time Apart
Even after trying to keep things friendly or professional with your crush, it is natural for it to still bother you that you can’t be together if you have developed feelings of romance. Perhaps they're always on your mind, or you have trouble keeping your composure the moment they're around. In that case, it might be best to spend some time apart or stop seeing that person completely. Of course, in a work situation, that isn't always possible, but it can be helpful to find some way to maintain distance until your feelings subside.
Setting boundaries is key. Maybe you're falling for a close friend who always wants you around but may not know you have romantic feelings for them. In this type of situation, setting boundaries can look like limiting the time you spend together and only asking them to join you when you feel comfortable. The goal is to set concrete limits that help you manage your emotional responses and avoid unnecessary stress from mixed messages and potentially false hopes.
Talk To Them
If you decide to tell someone your real feelings, and they don't feel the same way, there may be a chance you can stay friends anyway. In this case, each of you should agree to avoid conscious flirting or making comments that might send mixed messages.
Have an honest conversation about what you both want from your relationship, whether it’s platonic or romantic, and consider whether it would be best for you both to spend time apart to allow romantic feelings to fade.
Talk To A Friend Or Loved One About Your Feelings
Talking to a friend or loved one about your feelings can help you stop obsessing about the object of your affection and provide you with emotional support. Consider finding a close friend or family member to discuss your feelings with who can help you work through them and find support in moving forward.
This could be tricky territory, though. For instance, you might want to avoid gossiping or spilling your secret to a friend that's close to your crush. You may also want to steer clear of starting drama or rumors, so consider talking to someone outside of that circle who you trust.
People who have difficulty letting go of someone they like may be continuing the relationship in their minds through memories or fantasies. Fantasizing may make it more difficult to forget your new crush since it can cause a rush of feelings. Instead, consider letting go of any delusions you have about being with the person. Look for objective ways to remind yourself why this person is not for you by reminding yourself of behaviors, values, or lifestyle differences that are incompatible with your way of living.
One method for doing this is journaling. Write the person a letter explaining your feelings without the intention to send it. Ideally, the message should be clear about why you feel the relationship cannot come to fruition. It should also communicate a firm boundary you will maintain during future interactions. You may also try daily journal entries marking what you are doing instead of focusing on this person or keeping a running log of your emotions and thoughts for a certain period of time. This may let you see yourself grow and help you track patterns in your thinking.
Other Solutions You Can Try
A reasonable approach to ending your feelings for someone is to walk away and accept the situation. You may have to mourn what you thought might have been. During this grieving process, it’s normal to have feelings of loss. There are a few things you can do to process these feelings, though. The stress of liking a person you can't date can be overwhelming at times. If you’re feeling anxious, try practicing some calming techniques like yoga or meditation. Anything that will relax you and keep you grounded may do the trick.
Working Through Intrusive Thoughts About A Crush
If you’re actively trying not to think about someone, chances are you’re doing just that. Maybe you’re feeling plagued by thoughts and memories of your crush. Perhaps it's a nagging in the back of your mind that seems to intrude whenever you try to block the person out. Your difficulty in stopping yourself from liking this person and pushing them out of your mind can make those thoughts even more persistent. These unwanted and persistent thoughts are called "intrusive thoughts".
It’s common to experience intrusive thoughts at one point or another, and it can be a challenge to try to get rid of them. There are some things you may want to consider trying, though. For example, avoid putting yourself in situations that could trigger thoughts of your crush such as excessively looking at their social media accounts or watching romantic movies. Instead, engage in activities that help you focus your mind on other things such as reading or playing a favorite game. When the thoughts do inevitably come, try to let them pass naturally as opposed to forcibly pushing them out of your mind.
Give Therapy A Try
If you feel you've tried everything to forget your crush with no success, there may still be more you can do. Seeking informed professional advice could be the right move as you navigate intense feelings for a crush and try to move forward in your life. It can be difficult to talk about your romantic feelings with a stranger though, particularly in person. Online therapy may provide a solution by making you feel more comfortable expressing yourself. This form of therapy can also be more convenient since you can skip the commute and get mental health services right from home.
Internet-based therapy has been proven effective in helping people with relationship problems. A recent study showed that couples undergoing online counseling felt more in control over the process and more comfortable expressing their feelings with someone in a web-based environment. They also reported an enhanced therapeutic alliance as a result of the online setting, which is a significant predictor of successful therapy.
The therapists at BetterHelp are trained and ready to assist you. Appointments are available any time of day or night. When you’re ready to begin, you can answer a few brief questions to make sure you're matched with the right professional. With therapy, your romantic problems could be a thing of the past.
Read below for some reviews of BetterHelp counselors from people experiencing similar issues:
"Kimberlee gets me! She is so in tune with what I am saying and understands what I mean when I can't even get the right words to express things. She's truly a blessing. In a short time, I have seen her I have grown leaps and bounds. I had given up hope of being whole, and she's giving me practical tools and amazing advice! On my good days I feel better mentally than I ever have my entire life! My "bad" days are less frequent and less intense as well!"
"Karen is so intuitive. When I explain a situation she can pinpoint exactly what's going on and the way through, its amazing. She is so direct where others have tip toed around problems keeping me in the same problematic situation for years - Karen can move me through those problematic situations within one conversation with her approach which is direct but never in an invasive or offensive way . I feel safe with her responses and suggestions."
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How do I stop liking my crush?
There are actions you can do to help you prevent liking your crush. Talk to them and get to know them. You may learn about things you don’t have in common, and they may seem less attractive to you. See if there is any chemistry between you by having a conversation.
Try to prevent talking to them if possible. Focus on other things in life that make you happy. It will help take your mind off of your crush and encourage a productive way to get over them. Talk to someone you trust about your feelings to get another perspective. Learn which ways to prevent having a crush has helped others.
Why do we stop liking someone?
You may learn things about them that make you see them differently. You may find someone else more attractive. Sometimes your time and attention get focused on other things long enough to make such feelings fade away. You may stop liking someone when your feelings change about them.
How do you make yourself not like someone?
To stop liking someone takes patience and practice. Determine what makes you like that person and why they may not be suitable for you. You may realize there is no hope for anything to happen between you. Learn to counter or channel romantic thoughts. Maintain your distance and think about their faults. Cut off contact with them on and offline. Many find that avoiding things that remind them of that person makes it easier to stop liking them. Occupy your time doing hobbies and meeting new people.
Pay attention to their body language when they are around you. They may engage in more direct eye contact, stand closer to you, and engage in more meaningful conversations with you. They may talk to people about you in a pleasant way. They show interest in what you’re doing and want to spend more time with you.
How long can a crush last?
Some people get over their feelings for someone after a lot of time has passed. On average, a crush may last about four months, but people may have a crush that lasts weeks, months, or years.
How do you become heartless?
It’s challenging to move forward while carrying pain from being hurt by someone else. Ignoring the pain may lead to feeling heartless. Learn to focus on other things and people in your life. Change your frame thinking and focus on being calm. Realize you cannot be in control all the time. Accept what you can’t change. Talk about your thoughts with someone you trust.
How do I know if I'm in love?
Success stories about people finding the perfect partner may have you thinking about what it is like to fall in love. When you’re in love, you may have strong feelings of compassion for another. You might think about having a future together. You enjoy their presence and value their thoughts and opinions. You miss them when apart. You get jealous of them, but in a good way. You want people close to you to like them. You like them, and they like you back.
How do I get him off my mind?
To stop liking a guy you’ve had on your mind for a while, be prepared to change your way of thinking. Channel your thoughts and feelings onto something else when he pops in your head. Engage in a hobby or learn a new skill. To stop liking a guy, you have to cut off any contact you have with him. Remind yourself things may not be what you think. Your thoughts about him may not be accurate. Keep yourself distracted by doing an enjoyable activity or reconnect with friends. Focus on changing negative thoughts and assess from another perspective.
How do you start liking someone?
While there are ways to start liking a guy or girl, in many cases, when you like someone, it often comes naturally.
Admire their appearance. Notice characteristics about them, such as their charm and intellect. Be comfortable when having conversations with them. Other things happen when you start liking someone. You’re excited when they contact you by phone or text. You look forward to talking to them or seeing them again soon. You miss them when you’re apart. You assess your compatibility by looking for things you have in common such as interests and values.
How do u know if a boy likes U test?
You can get over a guy quickly when learning about someone else who likes you. There are clues to look for that may tell you if a boy likes you. A test may include answering questions related to signs you might notice. He may ask questions to learn more about your relationship status. He makes direct eye contact with you during conversations. He likes to make you smile. He wants to help you get things done or offer assistance. He comments about your appearance noticing small details. He remembers intricate details from earlier conversations. He tries to impress you or finds a reason to touch you lightly. He makes an effort to see you by setting a time or date.
Try accept the way you are and what you can’t change. Focus on meeting your needs and prioritizing them. Think about things that are good in your life and what you are thankful to have. Learn ways to build confidence in yourself. Try to prevent thinking about yourself negatively. Embrace your differences. Learn healthy ways to cope with unwanted thoughts and allow yourself time to accept who you are.
How can I attract my crush?
Remind yourself of the positive qualities you value within you. Engage in friendly conversation and learn what you have in common. Get to know his friends and interests. Try not to talk about yourself too often. Choose conversation topics that are interesting and thought-provoking. Laugh together, and have fun doing things you both enjoy. Take care of yourself and your appearance. Be yourself and be comfortable in your skin.
How can you make your crush fall for you?
There are success stories about people getting their crush to fall for them, resulting in living a happy life together. Establish communication through engaging conversations.
Establish a friendship with them and build up relations from there. They should be comfortable when with you. Find ways to spend time together. Move slowly to let chemistry build up between you and don’t push for things to happen too quickly. Be true to yourself. Show that you can be dependable and compassionate. Learn their interests. Be yourself and look your best. Have a good attitude, be confident in yourself, and smile.
When a crush doesn’t fall for you, it probably wasn’t meant to be, and that’s fine. It’s a sign it’s time to move on. If it’s too much to remain friends, it’s time to cut ties.
How do you know if a girl likes you but is hiding it?
There are a few signs to look for when a girl likes someone but hides it. She may display flirty behavior in-person or through text messages. She has told her friends about you. She laughs when you tell jokes. She establishes solid eye contact. She sends physical cues through body language. She smiles when you’re in her presence. She recalls the details you mentioned earlier. She may seem a little nervous or awkward while talking to you. She follows your social media page.
Can crushes last for years?
Yes, some suggest when you have strong feelings or infatuation for someone, it could last a couple of years or more. Some find it challenging to stop liking someone for personal reasons. Some say it is love or bliss, but some think a crush is lengthy if your chances of being in a relationship are small or it’s been a while since you’ve dated.
Can a cold-hearted person love?
It is possible for a cold-hearted person to love, but it may take more time and patience based on mindset. It may not be as easy to have feelings for someone when used to feeling detached. Sometimes it’s a matter of giving a person space, being mindful of your actions, and understanding why they coldhearted.
How can I become emotionless immediately?
Being emotionless includes recognizing, avoiding, or cutting off emotions as they occur. Take a step back when sensing the situation may turn emotional. Stop inserting your thoughts and opinions unless you’re asked. Put your feelings first. Listen without emotions getting in the way. Limit empathy and learn to deal with negative emotions.
Is it OK to be cold-hearted?
It may be OK temporarily to end a toxic relationship, but the feeling shouldn’t be prolonged. It is not helpful to your emotional or mental health. You can learn productive ways to deal with unwanted emotions while learning why your feelings hurt.
How do I prevent having a crush on someone?
Having a crush on someone is not always a bad thing. However, if you find that you are spending a great amount of time thinking of them, you are avoiding friends and family, or you avoid trying to meet new people, it could be an indication that the time you spend on them is too much. If you truly want to stop having a crush on someone, there are some simple steps you can take to mind off your crush. First, purposefully spend time with friends and family. Find a new hobby. While you may not feel like you’re ready to pursue a new relationship, it’s okay to start a conversation with someone new and learn to develop relationships with good friends.
How can I prevent liking someone?
Trying to not like someone can feel frustrating at times. One way to get your mind off your crush is to try to find something negative about them instead of focusing on all the good things. While this may go against the grain of what you have been taught your whole life, seeing someone through the rose-colored glasses of positivity can skew your perception of them. While you can’t expect to turn your feelings off completely, you can begin to limit the time you spend thinking of them or trying to be around them.
Spending time with someone you have a crush on will not be helpful. Therefore, it is important to acknowledge when it’s time to cut ties with your crush. It may not feel good, but when you realize it’s time to cut ties and you follow through, you may find that it’s easier to meet new friends and expand your social circle.
How long does a man's crush last?
Some relationship experts suggest that about four months is the amount of time a crush typically lasts. Others suggest that crushes can last for extended or even indefinite amounts of time. Typically, the difference in having a crush and being in love is that crushes are feelings that do not develop into emotional connections and relationships. They are often associated with unrequited love or affection.
How do I know my crush is thinking about me?
If you have a crush on someone and are wondering if they are thinking of you, there a few things that could indicate they are. If they start a conversation with you, try to become part of your social circle or seem to be putting forth effort to spend some time with you, they may be thinking of you and trying to get to know you better. If they text you or call you, they are thinking of you.
How do I prevent thinking about him?
Even though it may feel difficult at times, there are some effective ways to deal with feelings for your crush and to get them out of your head.
- Spend some time with good friends
- Start a conversation with a stranger
- Be deliberate about trying to make new friends
- Embrace the single life
- Go out town with your best friend
- Avoid watching romantic movies
- Avoid the object of your affection
- Acknowledge the feelings for your crush and seek help to move forward with your life if needed.
Why do I push guys away when they like me?
Having a love life can be a little intimidating. If you feel like someone is head over heels for you and you are not ready for a relationship, you may find yourself pushing them away. If you have experienced a broken heart, it may be difficult learning to trust again. The chances of having a love life now or later will require you to confront your feelings and learn a new way to communicate
Are crushes healthy?
Having a crush on someone can be a normal part of life. A simple crush or admiration for someone is not unhealthy. However, you don’t have to have a crush to feel like you are responding normally to others. Having a crush on someone can help you learn to identify your thoughts and feelings toward others and can help you develop effective ways of communicating with others. If you really like someone but are unsure of the best way to talk to them, or if you feel anxiety about the crush, you may find that talking to a relationship expert can help you learn ways to acknowledge what you feel and find healthy ways to approach what action, if any, you want to take moving forward.
Is it love or a crush?
While crushes can lead to deeper feelings of love, there is a difference in the two. A crush is usually a short-term feeling of admiration for or infatuation with someone else. If the depth of your thoughts about a person is no deeper than liking the way they look or their outgoing personality, you may have a crush on them. On the other hand, love is a powerful emotion that can break through even the strongest emotional barriers. Love tends to consume you and make you want to grow on a deeper, more intimate level with a person. If you are easily distracted from the object of your affection, it’s probably a crush. However, if you find that you want to spend as much as possible with them and feel more complete when you are with them, you may be in love.
Is Limerence a crush?
Although some people mistake limerence for a strong crush, they are not the same. Crushes may occur when you meet someone that seems friendly or approachable or who appears to fit the mold of what you think a perfect partner would be. They usually occur during a period when you have little information about the person and are often short-lived. Limerence, on the other hand is a strong obsession with someone that is rooted in an intense romantic infatuation. While not all cases of limerence involve feelings of sexual attraction, some people may feel that.
How do you stop liking someone you cant have?
It can be extremely difficult to stop liking someone, especially a person you have strong romantic feelings for. Maybe you were dating this person, and it turned out that you wanted very different things. Or perhaps the person you’ve fallen head over heels for is already in a committed relationship.
Whatever the situation may be, some strategies that can help you to begin moving forward include:
- Avoiding physical contact with this person as much as possible
- Committing to stop calling and/or texting them
- Unfollowing/blocking them on all social media platforms– while this may seem excessive, not seeing them pop up constantly on your screen is for your own sanity.
- Working to adopt a more balanced view of the person you can’t be with instead of focusing solely on their positive qualities
- Journaling to process intense feelings as they emerge
- Directing time and energy into other areas of life, such as picking up a new hobby (think about a skill you’ve always wanted to learn, like speaking a new language!)
- Deepening existing relationships with close friends or family, or reconnecting with old friends you haven’t seen in a while
- Focusing on learning and growing from this experience by reflecting on what you can offer to future partners and what you hope for in your next relationship
- Remembering that you are worthy of love and happiness- do your best to avoid taking the inability to be with this person as a sign that you are not good enough or unworthy of the kind of love you desire.
If you continue to experience challenges with moving past these feelings, you might consider reaching out for further support from a qualified mental health professional who can help you to process what you are experiencing and develop healthy coping strategies.
For related articles, please see below.
- How To Know If You Like Someone: Ask Yourself These Five Questions
- Help! I Can’t Stop Thinking About Someone
- I Need To Know How To Get Over Someone Quickly
- How Do You Stop Loving Someone You Shouldn’t?
- How Do You Know If You Like Someone, Or It’s Something Else?
- Should You Leave Someone You Love?
- 7 Tips For How To Stop Missing Someone
- How To Forget Someone You Love
- How Do You Get Over Someone You Think You Can Never Get Over
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