How To Know If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You

Experiencing infidelity can be painful, often leading to a loss of trust, complicated emotions, and, in some cases, a breakup. If you feel your girlfriend is cheating on you, you may be looking for indications that your beliefs are correct. Bringing up the subject of infidelity with your girlfriend may be easier if you can explain why you feel that way. Although the following signs of infidelity aren’t definitive indicators, they may help you determine whether to honestly discuss the possibility of cheating with your girlfriend. 

Signs your girlfriend may be cheating

Whether you’ve noticed your girlfriend acting differently or feel that your relationship has changed, gathering as much information as possible may be helpful before proceeding. Below are a few examples of suspicious behavior that might accompany cheating. However, note that people might also act in these ways without being unfaithful to their partner, so these should not be interpreted as signs she’s cheating for sure.   

She is distant

Often, people who have acted unfaithfully may push their significant other away to avoid experiencing the discomfort associated with their actions or because they’re becoming closer to the person they’re seeing. It may be a red flag if your girlfriend has started skipping out on dates or not responding to your texts or calls. 

There are many ways a partner might push you away. However, you might first notice that she’s making less effort to spend time with you, which can feel alarming. There might be a reasonable explanation for creating distance in your relationship, but it could also indicate that she’s cheating.

She gets caught in lies

A cheating partner may cover up their infidelity by misleading their significant other. For example, perhaps your girlfriend tells you she’s getting some rest at home, but you later see her tagged in a post on social media. Or maybe she tells you she’s hanging out with her best friend, but then you see her best friend out at a restaurant without her. This type of lie may not make sense and could point to infidelity. Other potential signs of lying include avoiding eye contact and defensive body language, such as crossed arms. While occasional misstatements or discrepancies might be normal, frequent lies can be a red flag. 

Try not to jump to conclusions initially, as there could be logical explanations for these inconsistencies. However, if your girlfriend has trouble explaining them, she might be intentionally misleading you. Committed relationships may benefit from a certain level of honesty to thrive. If you notice a pattern of dishonesty, let your girlfriend know how you’re feeling, as it could be a sign of an unhealthy relationship dynamic even if there is no infidelity.

She is less interested in affection

While physical closeness is not necessarily a “need” in a relationship for everyone, it might be concerning if your girlfriend has suddenly stopped touching you. In some cases, a lack of physical affection is a sign of cheating. In other cases, it might be a sign of a mental health challenge or a feeling that one’s needs aren’t met in the relationship. Some people may also prefer not to give or receive love in physical ways, as their love language may be different. 

She argues with you more often

If your girlfriend has become more argumentative or aggressive, it may be a sign that she’s projecting her guilt or feeling unsettled in the relationship. She may have trouble expressing her feelings and instead picks fights with you. While this behavior can be indicative of infidelity, it could also signal that you’re experiencing a rough patch or that a need is going unmet in the relationship. 

She hides her phone

People who are actively cheating may use their phones to communicate with the other person. If she hides her phone, puts it down when you look at her, or keeps it locked and avoids letting you use it, she could be hiding such a conversation. However, note that some people are discreet or have secrets they’re not ready to tell that may not be related to infidelity. 

How to talk to your girlfriend about infidelity

If you’ve noticed the above potential signs of cheating and feel that your girlfriend may be unfaithful, bringing up the subject with her could be beneficial. When you talk to her about your feelings, remain calm without accusing her or becoming angry. 

Try to be tactful while explaining why you’re concerned about potential infidelity. For example, if you’ve noticed that she hasn’t been truthful about her whereabouts, you might say, “I’ve been worried about you when you’ve hidden the truth from me about hanging out with friends. Can we talk about that?” 

After you’ve discussed your concerns, she may feel ready to explain the situation. It is possible that she might be feeling off in the relationship or has been experiencing a mental health challenge. An honest conversation can allow her to express her feelings and validate yours. Once she gives her side of the story, you may better understand where you stand. Ask follow-up questions, and let her know if you’re still worried about infidelity after your talk. 

If it turns out your girlfriend hasn’t been cheating but has been dissatisfied with the relationship, you might use this as a motivator to change certain behaviors. However, if she reveals that she has cheated on you, you may want to take time to think before proceeding. People react to infidelity differently, and you might have the following options: 

• Staying in the relationship and proceeding as normal 
• Staying in the relationship but changing your dynamic
• Staying in the relationship and reaching out to a couples’ therapist
• Taking a break from the relationship to think 
• Breaking up or divorcing
• Opening your relationship 

Many couples who choose to stay together or change their dynamic after infidelity decide to work with a therapist. In connecting with a mental health professional, you can discuss what occurred and develop a healthy plan to move forward. 

Counseling options 

If you’re worried that your girlfriend is cheating on you or you have recently discovered infidelity, it’s normal to experience sadness, confusion, or anger. Being cheated on can be challenging, and people may have complicated emotions after a breach of trust. In these cases, many forms of therapy are available, including individual and couples therapy in person or online. 

Online therapy can help couples learn communication, empathy, and other healthy relationship skills from home. Research shows that online therapy can be a powerful tool in strengthening relationships, with high overall success rates. For example, one study found that 94% of participants were satisfied with online relationship services, and more than half made significant progress in strengthening their relationships.

If you are seeking support as you address relationship conflict or similar concerns, a platform like BetterHelp for individuals or ReGain for couples can be a convenient and cost-effective way to receive guidance. With online therapy through BetterHelp or ReGain, you can choose whether to attend sessions via the phone, video calling, or live messaging. In addition, couples can attend therapy from two separate locations or rooms if they’re uncomfortable meeting in the same area while working through a challenging situation like infidelity.