How do I start the process of healing my childhood trauma?

I had an abusive parent as a child and even though I was able to leave the situation at 12 yrs old and live an amazing fulfilling successful life I am now 31 and I have anxiety and low confidence and fear of abandonment. I have blocked out all bad childhood memories but now I am at the point of life where I should be my happiest.. I have everything I have ever wanted (career, partner, home) but now I feel like I can’t be happy everyday because I have anxiety and I feel like it’s rooted from my childhood because I can’t pin it on anything else.
Asked by Ashley
Answered
05/15/2022

Content/Trigger Warning: Please be advised that the article below might mention trauma-related topics that include types of abuse that could be triggering.

 

Hello Ashley, thank you for your question, I am so pleased that you have reached out for help.

The fact that you have identified the origin of the anxiety, low confidence and fear of abandonment and reached out for help to understand how it is affecting you as an adult lets me know that you have done some powerful therapeutic work on yourself already, I wonder if that is how it feels for you?

I'm wondering how you have felt since you asked me the question and if you have found you are feeling more out of sorts since sending the message? I ask because it sounds like you are starting on a journey, and verbalising experiences can often bring some difficult feelings to the surface. I wonder how you would feel about thinking and talking about the memories you have blocked out? Do you feel that you are ready to go there? I wonder if it would help you to know that as I am a person-centred counsellor, you are in charge of the pace of the sessions and we would not revisit events in particular detail if you did not feel ready to share that.

It is important that you are not retraumatised but able to understand the affect the abuse had on you both as a child and as an adult and successfully work through the feelings to enable you to feel more comfortable in your own skin, so I would suggest working on this in live session therapy rather than email therapy so you are not left sitting with the feelings it may bring up for you and we are able to metaphorically pack the box away at the end of each session as you mention having a successful career, partner and home.

Writing and talking about your experiences can help heal your child within and reduce the impact on your adult self. Adverse childhood experiences such as experiencing abuse can impact on adult life and result in the feelings you are experiencing, so in answer to your question to heal the childhood trauma, the first step is to heal the inner child.

I have successfully worked with other clients who have experienced physical abuse as a child so can hear the hurt, I wonder if that helps you to feel supported to explore this with me?

I hope you have found my answer to your question helpful, feel free to get in touch if you have any other questions or would like to arrange a session.

Kind regards,

Charlotte