Procrastination Answers

Are attachment issues real?

Attachment describes how two people develop the relationship and how it impacts the bond between them over time. Usually, when we think of attachment issues, we think about parent-child issues. However, attachment issues are real and can affect relationships, romantic, platonic, parent-child, and professional-related. The primary factor with attachment is the person's ability to connect and form meaningful relationships with others. Studies have shown that attachment issues stem from emotional instability, primarily the feeling of fear. Fear is the driving force that causes attachment issues in romantic, platonic, parent-child, and professional related relationships.  ROMANTIC Romantic relationships are the most exciting and scary relationships of all time. When we open ourselves up to a romantic relationship, we agree to give our fragile and sensitive hearts to another person, metaphorically speaking. Many believe that the heart is the core of our entire state of being, so if someone decides to harm or destroy someone's heart, in theory, that person will die. The fear of theoretical death often stops someone from being in a romantic relationship or not giving the romantic partner their heart. Walls are built around the heart and even the person for protection, and it becomes challenging, if not impossible, to create that bond that will develop the relationship. The relationship has attachment issues.   PLATONIC Platonic relationships, or friendships, are the roots that keep us grounded in life. The fear of friendships stems from the fear of trusting and being vulnerable with another person. Friends are the people who know all the skeletons and have been there through the good and bad times. The fear of someone else having that much knowledge about us is scary. Being dependent on someone else to be the root that helps us hold things together can feel overwhelming, especially if we fear they will leave us or divulge what they know about us. Again, walls are built, and limited information is given in the friendship, and the relationship never develops.  PARENT-CHILD Parent-child relationships are the most common suffering from attachment issues. This is usually caused by a neglectful or abusive parent or a child being adopted. In either scenario, the child fears trusting that the parent will be there for them or do what is best for them. Trusting someone to provide all basic life necessities and more is the highest level of trust that you can give. When this trust is broken, the fear of an unsafe livelihood becomes the only constant we feel and know. Metal walls with barbed wire fences become a security blanket, and the development of any future relationships becomes questionable.  PROFESSIONAL RELATED In our professional world, we have to build relationships with supervisors, colleagues, and associates. There has to be a trust that everyone is working towards a common goal. The fear of sabotage, job loss, or inadequacy can prevent the development of these relationships. Attachment issues can disrupt the entire workplace. 
(LPC, LMHC, NCC)
Answered on 04/28/2021

How mindfulness helps students?

Mindfulness has many great components that would help a student in their studies.  Many of the problems that students face when it comes to items like studying, completing assignments in a timely fashion, and handing high world work can be improved by applying mindfulness skills. Let us take a look at each problem area a study may face: Study: what are the barriers that students typically face with trying to study?  Most common issues include items like distractibility, difficulty with concentration, and feeling overwhelmed.  A common principle of mindfulness that would help is the practice of being present-centered.  Despite this sounds easy in theory; it takes much practice to be competent in this area but is highly effective once conditioned to focus on living in the moment.  This will help to minimize distractibility and improve concentration.  Deep breathing is a common practice of mindfulness, which will help reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed, and it also brings a sense of calmness to help support better concentration. Completing assignments: It is commonly known that students tend to procrastinate quite a bit, which affects their ability to complete the assignments and can also lead to some self-deprecating feelings and unnecessary/unrealistic expectations.  Teaching the practice of non-judgment will help alleviate unnecessary self-deprecating thoughts, making it more challenging to focus on completing assignments.  It is hard to focus on work if your thoughts are being consumed with automatic negative thoughts.  If students can implement more non-judgmental practices, they will be less likely to procrastinate. They won’t be avoiding the internal shame they feel with not meeting an unrealistic standard they have set for themselves.  Handing in quality work: Another concept is “one mindfully,” which is where you focus on one task at a time, and you fully engage in the one task.  We live in a world where it is socially acceptable, even at times encouraged to multi-task.  However, studies have shown that multitasking hurts the quality of work you complete.  So, teaching your students the importance of doing something one-mindfully will support better quality work.  Although it may be challenging to convince your students to disconnect from distractions like technology and social media, it will be worth the effort if they can embrace the concept of one mindfully. Trying to implement these types of mindfulness practice with students will help your students greatly in the long run, not only with their assignments and their education overall but also with the lifelong journey into adulthood and independence.  These teachings are life skills; they will carry them beyond coursework and grades. 
Answered on 04/28/2021