Are attachment issues real?

Asked by Anonymous

Attachment describes how two people develop the relationship and how it impacts the bond between them over time. Usually, when we think of attachment issues, we think about parent-child issues. However, attachment issues are real and can affect relationships, romantic, platonic, parent-child, and professional-related. The primary factor with attachment is the person's ability to connect and form meaningful relationships with others. Studies have shown that attachment issues stem from emotional instability, primarily the feeling of fear. Fear is the driving force that causes attachment issues in romantic, platonic, parent-child, and professional related relationships. 


Romantic relationships are the most exciting and scary relationships of all time. When we open ourselves up to a romantic relationship, we agree to give our fragile and sensitive hearts to another person, metaphorically speaking. Many believe that the heart is the core of our entire state of being, so if someone decides to harm or destroy someone's heart, in theory, that person will die. The fear of theoretical death often stops someone from being in a romantic relationship or not giving the romantic partner their heart. Walls are built around the heart and even the person for protection, and it becomes challenging, if not impossible, to create that bond that will develop the relationship. The relationship has attachment issues.  


Platonic relationships, or friendships, are the roots that keep us grounded in life. The fear of friendships stems from the fear of trusting and being vulnerable with another person. Friends are the people who know all the skeletons and have been there through the good and bad times. The fear of someone else having that much knowledge about us is scary. Being dependent on someone else to be the root that helps us hold things together can feel overwhelming, especially if we fear they will leave us or divulge what they know about us. Again, walls are built, and limited information is given in the friendship, and the relationship never develops. 


Parent-child relationships are the most common suffering from attachment issues. This is usually caused by a neglectful or abusive parent or a child being adopted. In either scenario, the child fears trusting that the parent will be there for them or do what is best for them. Trusting someone to provide all basic life necessities and more is the highest level of trust that you can give. When this trust is broken, the fear of an unsafe livelihood becomes the only constant we feel and know. Metal walls with barbed wire fences become a security blanket, and the development of any future relationships becomes questionable. 


In our professional world, we have to build relationships with supervisors, colleagues, and associates. There has to be a trust that everyone is working towards a common goal. The fear of sabotage, job loss, or inadequacy can prevent the development of these relationships. Attachment issues can disrupt the entire workplace.