I am glad you reached out for support at this time. I am sorry you are struggling in this moment. I would encourage you to start to work with a therapist to help you learn skills to help you overcome your struggles. If we were to meet I would first talk to you about the counseling process through our site and how together we could help you obtain your goals going forward, how I work as a counselor and how I would try to help you through the counseling process. I would also take the first session to get to know you by asking you a few questions to get a better understanding of your struggles so that I am able to focus on a plan and goals to work on going forward. I want you to know that you are not alone during this time even though you may feel like you are alone at this time. During the therapy process, you can have support 100% of the time as you are able to reach out and talk to a therapist 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I am going to send you some skills and tools to help you during this time of struggle you are having. If we were to work together we would be going over these and more tools to help you through your struggles and be able to ask for support from others.
Small steps, big impactDepression can drain your energy, leaving you feeling empty and fatigued. This can make it difficult to muster the strength or desire to seek treatment. However, there are small steps you can take to help you feel more in control and improve your overall sense of well-being.1. Meet yourself where you areDepression is common. It affects millions of people, including some in your life. You may not realize they face similar challenges, emotions, and obstacles.2. If you need to wallow, wallow — but do so constructivelySuppressing your feelings and emotions may seem like a strategic way to cope with the negative symptoms of depression. But this technique is ultimately unhealthy. If you’re having a down day, have it. Let yourself feel the emotions — but don’t stay there. Consider writing or journaling about what you’re experiencing. Then, when the feelings lift, write about that, too. Seeing the ebb and flow of depressive symptoms can be instructive for both self-healing and hope.3. Know that today isn’t indicative of tomorrowToday’s mood, emotions, or thoughts don’t belong to tomorrow. If you were unsuccessful at getting out of bed or accomplishing your goals today, remember that you haven’t lost tomorrow’s opportunity to try again. Give yourself the grace to accept that while some days will be difficult, some days will also be great. Try to look forward to tomorrow’s fresh start.4. Assess the parts instead of generalizing the wholeDepression can tinge recollections with negative emotions. You may find yourself focusing on the one thing that went wrong instead of the many things that went right. Try to stop this overgeneralization. Push yourself to recognize the good. If it helps, write down what was happy about the event or day. Then write down what went wrong. Seeing the weight you’re giving to one thing may help you direct your thoughts away from the whole and to the individual pieces that were positive.5. Do the opposite of what the ‘depression voice’ suggestsThe negative, irrational voice in your head may talk you out of self-help. However, if you can learn to recognize it, you can learn to replace it. Use logic as a weapon. Address each thought individually as it occurs. If you believe an event won’t be fun or worth your time, say to yourself, “You might be right, but it’ll be better than just sitting here another night.” You may soon see the negative isn’t always realistic.6. Set attainable goalsA lengthy to-do list may be so weighty that you’d rather do nothing. Instead of compiling a long list of tasks, consider setting one or two smaller goals.For example:Don’t clean the house; take the trash out. Don’t do all the laundry that’s piled up; just sort the piles by color. Don’t clear out your entire email inbox; just address any time-sensitive messages.When you’ve done a small thing, set your eyes on another small thing, and then another. This way, you have a list of tangible achievements and not an untouched to-do list.7. Reward your efforts All goals are worthy of recognition, and all successes are worthy of celebration. When you achieve a goal, do your best to recognize it. You may not feel like celebrating with a cake and confetti, but recognizing your own successes can be a very powerful weapon against depression’s negative weight. The memory of a job well done may be especially powerful against negative talk and overgeneralization.8. You may find it helpful to create a routineIf depressive symptoms disrupt your daily routine, setting a gentle schedule may help you feel in control. But these plans don’t have to map out an entire day. Your schedule could focus on the time before work or right before bed. Perhaps it’s only for the weekends. Focus on creating a loose, but structured, routine that can help you keep your daily pace going.9. Do something you enjoy…Depression can push you to give in to your fatigue. It may feel more powerful than happy emotions. Try to push back and do something you love — something that’s relaxing, but energizing. It could be playing an instrument, painting, hiking, or biking. These activities can provide subtle lifts in your mood and energy, which may help you overcome your symptoms.10. …like listening to musicMusic can be a great way to boost your mood and improve symptoms of depression. It may also help your reception of positive emotions. Music may be especially beneficial when performed in group settings, such as a musical ensemble or band. You can also reap some of the same rewards simply by listening.11. Or spend time in natureMother Nature can have a powerful influence on depression. People who spend time in nature have improved mental health. Exposure to sunlight may offer some of the same benefits. It can increase your serotonin levels. Consider taking a walk at lunch among the trees or spending some time in your local park. Or plan a weekend hike. These activities can help you reconnect with nature and soak in some rays at the same time.12. Or spend time with loved onesDepression can tempt you to isolate yourself and withdraw from your friends and family, but face-to-face time can help wash away those tendencies. If you’re unable to spend time together in person, phone calls or video chats can also be helpful. Try to remind yourself these people care about you. Resist the temptation to feel like you’re a burden. You need the interaction — and they likely do, too.13. Try something new entirelyWhen you do the same thing day after day, you use the same parts of your brain. You can challenge your neurons and alter your brain chemistry by doing something entirely different. Doing new things can improve your overall well-being and strengthen your social relationships. To reap these benefits, consider trying a new sport, taking a creative class, or learning a new cooking technique.14. Volunteering can be a great way to do bothKnock out a few birds with one stone — spending time with other people and doing something new — by volunteering and giving your time to someone or something else. You may be used to receiving help from friends, but reaching out and providing help may actually improve your mental health more.15. You can also use this as a way to practice gratitudeWhen you do something you love, or even when you find a new activity you enjoy, you may be able to boost your mental health more by taking time to be thankful for it. Gratitude can have lasting positive effects on your overall mental health. What’s more, writing down your gratitude — including writing notes to others — can be particularly meaningful.16. Incorporating meditation may help ground your thoughtsStress and anxiety can prolong your depression symptoms. Finding relaxation techniques can help you lower stress and invite more joy and balance into your day. Activities like meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and even journaling may help you improve your sense of well-being and feel more connected to what’s happening around you.17. What you eat and drink can also affect how you feelThere’s no magic diet that will treat depression. But what you put into your body can have a real and significant impact on the way you feel. Some people also have more energy when they avoid sugar, preservatives, and processed foods. If you have the means, consider meeting with a doctor or registered dietitian for guidance.18. If you’re up for exercise, consider a walk around the blockOn days when you feel as if you can’t get out of bed, exercise may seem like the last thing you’d want to do. However, exercise and physical activity can be powerful depression fighters. For some people, exercise can be as effective as medication at relieving depression symptoms. It may also help prevent future depressive episodes. If you’re able to, take a walk around the block. Start with a five-minute walk and work your way up from there.19. Getting enough sleep can also have a noticeable effectSleep disturbances are common with depression. You may not sleep well, or you may sleep too much. Both can make depression symptoms worse. Aim for eight hours of sleep per night. Try to get into a healthy sleeping routine. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day can help you with your daily schedule. Getting the proper amount of sleep may also help you feel more balanced and energized throughout your day.10 Natural Depression TreatmentsBeing depressed can make you feel helpless. You're not. Along with therapy and sometimes medication, there's a lot you can do on your own to fight back. Changing your behavior -- your physical activity, lifestyle, and even your way of thinking -- are all natural depression treatments.These tips can help you feel better -- starting right now.1. Get in a routine. If you’re depressed, a daily routine is helpful for you to set up and try to manage your thoughts and feelings.Depression can strip away the structure from your life. One day melts into the next. Setting a gentle daily schedule can help you get back on track.2.Set goals. When you're depressed, you may feel like you can't accomplish anything. That makes you feel worse about yourself. To push back, set daily goals for yourself.Start very small, Make your goal something that you can succeed at, like doing the dishes every other day.As you start to feel better, you can add more challenging daily goals.3. Exercise. It temporarily boosts feel-good chemicals called endorphins. It may also have long-term benefits for people with depression. Regular exercise seems to encourage the brain to rewire itself in positive ways.How much exercise do you need? You don’t need to run marathons to get a benefit. Just walking a few times a week can help.4. Eat healthy. There is no magic diet that fixes depression. It's a good idea to watch what you eat, though. If depression tends to make you overeat, getting in control of your eating will help you feel better.Although nothing is definitive, There's evidence that foods with omega-3 fatty acids (such as salmon and tuna) and folic acid (such as spinach and avocado) could help ease depression.5. Get enough sleep. Depression can make it hard to get enough shut-eye, and too little sleep can make depression worse.What can you do? Start by making some changes to your lifestyle. Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Try not to nap. Take all the distractions out of your bedroom -- no computer and no TV. In time, you may find your sleep improves.6. Take on responsibilities. When you’re depressed, you may want to pull back from life and give up your responsibilities at home and at work. Don't. Staying involved and having daily responsibilities can help you maintain a lifestyle that can help counter depression. They ground you and give you a sense of accomplishment.If you're not up to full-time school or work, that’s fine. Think about part-time. If that seems like too much, consider volunteer work.7. Challenge negative thoughts. In your fight against depression, a lot of the work is mental -- changing how you think. When you're depressed, you leap to the worst possible conclusions.The next time you're feeling terrible about yourself, use logic as a natural depression treatment. You might feel like no one likes you, but is there real evidence for that? You might feel like the most worthless person on the planet, but is that really likely? It takes practice, but in time you can beat back those negative thoughts before they get out of control.8. Check with your doctor before using supplements. There's promising evidence for certain supplements for depression. Those include fish oil, folic acid, and SAMe. But more research needs to be done before we'll know for sure. Always check with your doctor before starting any supplement, especially if you’re already taking medications.9. Do something new. When you’re depressed, you’re in a rut. Push yourself to do something different. Go to a museum. Pick up a used book and read it on a park bench. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Take a language class.When we challenge ourselves to do something different, there are chemical changes in the brain. Trying something new alters the levels of [the brain chemical] dopamine, which is associated with pleasure, enjoyment, and learning.10. Try to have fun. If you’re depressed, make time for things you enjoy. What if nothing seems fun anymore? That's just a symptom of depression, You have to keep trying anyway. 6 BRAIN-BOOSTING REASONS TO EXERCISEWe know that exercise is great for our bodies, but what about our brains? Does going for a run or picking up some weights really affect the health or strength of our brains? The answer is a resounding yes! 1) Improved MoodBelieve it or not, exercise can help to reduce the feelings and symptoms associated with both short- and long-term depression! In studies done with people currently suffering from depression, physical activity was show to increase feelings of hopefulness and decrease depressive symptoms. It's also been found that people with anxiety tend to suffer less panic attacks when they begin a regime of exercising regularly. So if you tend to suffer from anxiety or depression, or just have had a stressful day and are looking for a boost, look no further than your gym shoes!2) More Resilient To StressExercising regularly can also help you're brain better adapt to stress! We talked about the negative effect stress has on the brain here, but exercise can not only help you better deal with present stress, but it can make you more resilient when it comes to both physical and emotional stressors in the future as well.3) Memory BenefitsExercise has incredible benefits when it comes to improving and preserving your memory. One particular study found that moderate, aerobic exercise significantly improved people's spatial memory (the kind of memory you would use for directions or finding your way through a maze), as well as increased the overall size of the hippocampus (an vital brain structure when it comes to learning and memory). So forget playing those 'brain boosting' games on your phone and just head to the gym! 4) Improved Social SkillsResearch from the University of Michigan suggests that exercise can help improve overall social function, especially in adolescents. Team sports specifically can help to build a sense of self-esteem, leadership and even empathy. To get the most out of your exercise, try joining a basketball or volleyball or softball team! 5) Better SleepWhen it comes to getting a better night's sleep, scientific studies have yet to find a better activity then exercise! Exercise raises your core body temperature and then, after exercise, that temperature falls again which can help promote a better nights sleep. Weight lifting has been shown to be an especially effective form of exercise when it comes to falling and staying asleep.6) New Brain CellsExercise, especially cardio exercises like vigorous walking, running or dancing have been shown to actually help your brain to create new neurons (neurogenesis) in areas like the hippocampus, which is a vital brain structure when it comes to learning and memory. So the next time you head out for that walk or run or bike ride, just think about all the new brain cells you'll be getting! So what's the best form of exercise for our brains?The answer is everything! The best exercise routine for our brains will involve at least 20 minutes of physical activity (elevated heart rate) 4+ times a week. The key is to it up. Our brains are more challenged when we step outside of our routine, and that includes our exercise routine! If you walk everyday, try alternating walking with light weight training or even core and stretching. A balanced exercise program will include elements of cardio, weight training, balance, stretching and core. At Faithful Workouts, we try to incorporate all of those elements into our faith based exercise videos.
Please find some steps to help you with dealing with and interacting with people who are negative in your life, try to put these steps in place to help you manage the negativity that you have been experiencing. Step 1. Identify negative people. It is important to learn how to identify people who frequently show a variety of negative personality traits. Here are some signs that may tell you someone is a negative person: They are always complaining. Negative people whine a lot, and are often convinced that the world is working against them. They can always find something to complain about, whether it be nasty weather, responsibilities at work, or just mere bad luck.They aren't able to step back and take a look at other factors, like having a lack of energy or having to do hard work. They have a negative view of the world. They never look for the good in the world. Albert Einstein reportedly once said, "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." People who are negative can never see miracles in the world.They likely figure that, if they expect the worst, they will not be disappointed when they get it. They are always victims. Everyone may whine for a minute if something goes wrong, but after a bit of grief time, most of us can pull ourselves together and renegotiate what we want in ways that are more in line with reality. This temporary state of self-pity is nothing compared to how negative people tend to feel. Negative people often seem familiar with crises, traumas, or illnesses because they are used to assuming that life is a fight that you always lose. If you have the mentality of a perpetual victim, you avoid having any hopes become crushed. They have thin skin and are easily insulted. Negative people are likely to be overly sensitive to criticism, and can even turn a compliment into an insult. They often interpret innocent remarks as being rude, when, in the same situation, a positive person would not overanalyze the comment.They are never upbeat or positive. A negative person misses out on the positive things in life. They hardly recognize joy, passion, or excitement because they rarely experience these emotions or sensations. When they are fixated on their unsatisfying lives, jobs, and relationships, it is hard to be upbeat or positive. They are a source of constant complaints. A complaint refers to a circumstance in one's life that they wish were different. This could be something small, like a misplaced set of keys, or something bigger, like being mistreated by a boss. Even if a complaint is justified, it still means that we are not getting our way. Negative people often feel like they are never getting their way, so they have a lot of things to complain about. They cannot see that their complaining is adding to their dissatisfaction with life. They think everyone else is wrong. They are the only people who are ever right.Seriously, how can everyone else be so stupid all the time? Between co-workers, clients, and even friends, negative people often feel like the only intelligent people on earth. What they don't see is that if everyone around them is always wrong and they can hardly handle it, the problem likely lies within them. People are smart-not everyone, but a good amount of them. Negative people don't realize that they are not the smartest people in the world.Other people begin to pick up on the attitudes of negative people. Usually, it isn't too hard to realize that someone never has anything positive to say. This can quickly develop a reputation, which can have adverse consequences for the negative person. They are rarely loving. Why would they be? They struggle to see the good in other people, so it is probably difficult to be loving and supportive of anyone. They love to dwell on bad news. Negative people love approaching others and mentioning the most recent terrible news. The problem here is that overexposure to negative news affects a person more deeply than was previously thought. Research has shown that media exposure to violence and tragedy contributes to depression, anxiety, and PTSD. It can strongly influence a negative person's outlook on life. They use the word "but" a lot.A negative person may slip out a positive comment now and then, giving you hope that they are happy living in the moment for once. But before you take a sigh of relief, you will likely hear them say, "But"-which will quickly turn their positive comment into a negative one. You may hear something like "It was a good restaurant, but it was way too noisy." They achieve little in life. Not every low-achieving person is negative, but negativity can certainly lead to low achievement. Negative people see themselves as being not smart enough, not strong enough, or just not good enough overall. But it is often their emotional intelligence that is hindered by their critical attitude. Also, they will be quick to tell you stories about how difficult other people were, and how they simply could not work with them. They can suck the energy and optimism out of you. In addition to their constant demands, negative people can drain you of your energy. They are unable to create positive energy, and will take up all of your attention, time, and energy while they drag you down with them. Even when presented with good news, negative people find some way to look at it negatively.Perhaps you are excited to share the news that you landed your dream job, which includes a huge raise. Their reaction? "That's good, but your taxes will be higher." Negative people can always find a way to make positive events sound negative. They will warn you to be careful, caution you of any possible obstacles, and tell you to think about it before acting on anything. Can you think of some of the negative people in your life? Why do you think they are so negative? Is it their job, relationship, or schooling? Think about this, and be aware of their emotions and behavior when you are around them. Then, think about your own emotions when you are with them. Do you feel tired or drained? Do you start feeling a bit negative yourself? If so, it is important to remember that it is not you, it is them.RELATED: How to Build a New Habit That Actually Sticks Want to build success habits that will improve your life? Step 2. Set boundaries to minimize contact with negative people. It is important to realize what you are willing or able to tolerate when it comes to negativity. You are not required to listen to everything a negative person has to say. You certainly have the right to get up and walk away or focus your attention elsewhere. Remember that their negativity will impact your thoughts and feelings, and affect your attitude. For example, say you are doing a project at work that you are enjoying. Unfortunately, a co-worker who is also working on the project continues to complain about it. This could alter your experience with the project, and you could start to dislike it as well. This is why it is important to limit your exposure to negativity. Instead, surround yourself with people who share your positive feelings. If you have a friend who tends to be negative, you don't have to necessarily never see them again-but it is best to be aware of yourself and your feelings so you can pick and choose when to interact with that person.For example, if you are going through a tough time, you likely don't want to add to that by being around someone who is negative. But, if you are feeling pretty confident in your life at the moment, it may be a good time to visit with that person.Just be aware that you will want to limit your exposure so you're positive attitude does not become negatively impacted. You have the right to set boundaries and limit your exposure to toxicity. If your negative friend is demanding of your time, or if you have a negative co-worker that you can't avoid, tell them your boundaries. This may feel awkward, or even sound hurtful to the other person, but you deserve happiness, and it will be worth it in the long run. Step 3. Help some people deal with their negativity. There may be some people in your life who are very important to you, and therefore you want to help them deal with their negative thoughts.This probably won't be true for someone who is temporarily passing through your life, but if you have a family member or a close friend who seems like they could use some help, you have options. Someone may even ask you for help. So it is best to be equipped with some strategies. First, you can show them kindness. Do something nice for them that they really can't put a negative spin on. Maybe buy them their favorite candy, or surprise them one day with a nice card. Give them a hug when you see them. Do anything to make them feel like you care.It is also helpful to lend them a smile when you see them. Smiles can be as contagious as negativity, and you can pass on your compassion by showing you are happy when you are with a negative person. You never know-your positivity could rub off on them. Give your negative friend compliments and positive reinforcement so they feel validated. This may help them look on the brighter side of things instead of continuing to focus on things that have gone wrong. Try to give a compliment that isn't really common or superficial. For example, rather than saying "I like your shirt," say something like, "I was really impressed with how you handled XYZ this week. Your communication skills are really something to be proud of." If you show respect and encouragement, you will be more likely to receive it in return. Additionally, if you can think of a solution to their problems, go ahead and suggest it. Put yourself in their shoes, and think about what you would do if you were in their situation, no matter how insignificant the problem may seem to you.Use your active listening skills to allow your friend to tell you exactly what is going on, and make a suggestion about how the issue can be resolved, or even how they can try to move on.Doing this can help them overcome their negativity, which would be beneficial to them in so many aspects of their life. If you are successful in this, then you can be proud that you have had a positive influence on someone else's life.But remember that in the end, their attitude isn't your responsibility, so if you are unable to change it, you have to accept that and move on with your own life. Step 4. Don't make their problems your problems. It will most certainly bring you down if you focus too much of your time on your negative friend's problems. Practice self-awareness so you can gauge when your thoughts are beginning to decline and your life is starting to be affected. You don't have a responsibility for other people's feelings or actions, but you are responsible for you. For this reason, at some point, you need to put your own well-being ahead of others, and focus on your own life rather than theirs. This is not something that you should feel guilty about doing. You likely want to feel like you are an empathetic healer, and the truth is, empathy is a great thing to have. But don't let your empathy for other people become so much of a burden that you are no longer able to feel empathetic towards other people in your life. Don't guilt yourself for putting yourself first.You have to recognize and understand that everyone is on their own unique journey in life. If you have a friend who always has some kind of drama going on, let that be their journey. Don't make it your own. Don't allow yourself to get pulled into their drama and have it impact your own positive journey through life.Step 5. Create a positive environment in your personal life. The environment you surround yourself with will influence your mood. Whether you are at home or at work, creating a positive environment and having positive energies can make your life much better and healthier. To do this, start by surrounding yourself with people who share your attitude of positivity. You will feed off of each other, and contribute even more to each other's positive attitudes. You have to put forth the work to create the environment that you want in your life. You can do this by spreading your happiness and going out of your way to lift up those around you. Also, practice gratitude-not only outwardly, but also internally. Be conscious of the things in your life that you are thankful for, and be sure to tell someone if you are grateful for something they did. You can also encourage positive thinking from others by showing off your positivity. When you are at home, create a happy environment that is free from unnecessary clutter or stress. What you set your focus on at home will grow with you once you are out in the world. Make sure that you are living in a positive environment, and that you are offering other people a positive environment to enter when they come to your house. When you are interacting with other people, don't underestimate the power of active listening. Listen to what people are saying, and respond in a way that they know you were listening.One way of doing this is to repeat back what they said in your own words, such as saying, "What I am hearing you say is that…." This will make people feel validated, and feel that you care about what they are saying. This can also lead to giving people positive reinforcement so they can feel like they are on the right track. You can do this by being sincere when you are talking to them, and being specific about the things that they are doing right. It is also important to trust what other people are saying. Negative people are constantly skeptical of others, which is always putting them on the defense. Trust what other people are saying to you, and always assume people have good intentions. This will help you enjoy life a bit more because you won't have that constant nagging thought in the back of your mind that something is a bit off. Additionally, go out of your way to motivate other people. Help people get excited about what they are doing, and the opportunities in their lives. This will help lift everyone's spirits. As long as you continue to think positively and pass that onto others, you will be spreading joy and supportive vibes.
I hope that these skills have been helpful for you in your struggles you have been facing at this time. I am going to give you my information if you are wanting to start to process through and work on your struggles going forward, please reach out to Betterhelp and ask to be matched with Crystal Westman. If we were to work together we would work on more skills and tools to help you when you are struggling and get back to a positive space. I encourage you to reach out for support at this time to help you get to the best version of yourself.