Ask a therapist > ADHD > How can I de-stress when life is very stressful, I'm broke, and my health is in a questionable state?

How can I de-stress when life is very stressful, I'm broke, and my health is in a questionable state?

I have adult ADHD and have been struggling with the stresses of adult life because of it for a long time. In my mid 30's I am finally finding value in life and staying alive. In my 20's I didn't really care if I lived long. Now I have a wonderful life partner, a house, and other assets I am terrified of losing. But I no longer am able to have the laid back attitude I used to have. I lost my job almost 3 months ago and have been waiting for a good opportunity to come up. I have found one and start next week. The stress of no income and no savings, along with my partner paying for everything has been very stressful. This is greatly affecting my health. Terrible stomach problems have come up and have caused me have bad panic attacks with heart palpitations and when going to the urgent care I had a very high blood pressure. The Doctor said the stress was to blame for everything and I need to exercise. The exercise is definitely helping in different ways and I am taking meds and on a very strict diet for the stomach issues. Some days it's great, some days it's terrible. I want to live a long healthy health with the person I love but I'm afraid the stress of adult responsibilities and ADHD will make that difficult.
Show more
Asked by Brandon
ADHD
Answered
06/02/2022

Hi Brandon,

Thank you so much for reaching out! I can definitely understand and see how that extra added stress of being unemployed and having financial stress has created some of those other issues for you. Our mind and bodies are linked so intricately and lots of mental health problems end up showing up in the body in the form of headaches, nausea, vomiting, tightness feelings in one's chest, fatigue, issues with sleep and appetite, etc. For many people, when they tend to stuff these emotions, or hold onto them without seeking outside support that is when they show up in those extreme ways in our body.

With that being said, there is definitely hope for these things. Even though there are always going to be stressful life, there are many ways to cope and deal with those things so that they don't feel so heavy. First off, many people who have ADHD do much better when they have a high level of structure and routine in their lives. It sounds like you have had some time without a full time career, which likely created a huge gap for you as far as time goes. When we have times without that intense level of structure, trying to create our own can help us not only feel like we are having healthier habits, but also giving us the sense of accomplishment that often can help with out mood. In addition to having structure and a routine, having the ability to reach out to others and ask for support can be huge. You noted that you have a person in your life that you love, and its totally ok to open up to them and reach out if you feel like you need some support, or even opening up to other friends, family, or even a therapist to discuss your stress can be helpful. In addition, having positive skills that you like to use can be helpful, such as hobbies, sports, activities, or anything else that you find tends to provide some calm or comfort. You absolutely can still have a happy and healthy life with ADHD, and it's ok if you need some extra support like medications or therapy to learn ways to live the best version of your life!

(LMSW)