How do I cope with the rage and sadness inside of me?
As a therapist with twenty years of job counseling experience, I promise I can help you! I admire how you acknowledge the positive aspects of your life and job. This demonstrates character, integrity, and accountability. These are wonderful qualities, and they will work for you! I also see that you are blaming yourself unnecessarily. This is something that you and I can work on using CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). CBT empowers clients by teaching them to say nice things to themself. Inner dialogue is important when finding fulfillment!
Career counseling teaches that the bottom line is this: a person must do that which they love to do the most! This is the bottom line, and no one can tell you what this is except you! All other factors ie.-money earned, working with family vs. not, are not indicators of that which you love to do the most. This is why it is important to work with a professional to learn to quiet your mind!
DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy), can work to achieve this. I can guide you through short meditations, and other exercises. This can help you realize what you truly love to do. A great fiance and pet can be supports in working towards what Shakespeare and I would encourage you to do. "To thyself be true!"
Anger control is also a common obstacle. BetterHelp has great worksheets on anger control, as well as CBT and DBT. We can do them together. These worksheets will prove to be extremely useful. If winter causes you depression, we have worksheets for depression as well. We can also discuss coping mechanisms for SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) which may contribute to your depression in winter.
I have many tools to assist you in finding the right work environment. These are books (ie-What Color is Your Parachute?), Informational Interviews, and Personality Tests (ie-the MMPI). All these can assist you in understanding whether you are in the right job, or need to search further.
A good therapist will make themself available to you on a regular basis. You and I can work together as a team to empower you by developing a treatment plan unique to you. This treatment plan can help you overcome obstacles. Problems such as anger, job dissatisfaction, depression, stress, boredom, loneliness, frustration and SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) all have coping mechanisms. These can be included in your treatment plan.
I wish you all the best!
Jennifer Spinner LCSW