How do I stop with my anger? I want to get better.

I want to stop getting angry all the time, I want to get better for my family, I find myself getting jealous and irritated quite easily. I want to stop this hate and anger and get help
Asked by Molly


I hear that you are feeling disappointed in yourself, and that you feel you are letting yourself and your family down because you are feeling angry all the time. 

Anger is a strong emotion, that always has a lot of other negative emotions lying beneath it.

I always describe anger to my clients as being like an iceberg, the anger is the small piece of ice we can see protruding above the water, and this anger can be seen as yelling, crying, frustration, sulking, passive behavior, but underneath the water there is a whole lot of other emotions going on underneath the surface. 

The emotions that lie under the surface are : Guilt, Scared, Nervous, Depressed, Confusion, Worried, Lonely, Tired, Anxious, Helpless, Shame, Insecure, Rejected, Unsafe, Fear, and Hurt.

These are all the emotions that can be going on inside for you.

It is important to try and be aware of the other emotions that are under your anger, and by identifying them, you may be able to work out why you feel so angry so often. The feelings of jealousy can also make you feel angry, and feeling irritated by others is another symptom of your anger.

Getting help through therapy will help you explore your anger and help you deal with it.

A therapist will be able to help give you coping techniques to help deal and process your anger.

Some simple things that you can try is some mindfulness exercises or breathing techniques. There are a lot of self help techniques for mindfulness and breathing exercises online, try Google or any search engine.

I sense this is having a negative impact on your life and it is something you would like to change, by taking the first step of asking the question is the first step to change. Therapy will certainly help you have a better understanding on where your anger stems from, then this will give you a base that you can grow and understand more.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do and remember any difficult situation that we challenge leads to growth


(Bsc, hons, counselling, and, psychotherapy, Psychotherapist)