Anxiety strategies

Hi Goosey,

Thank you for your question.

Anxiety on some level is perfectly normal, everyone can experience anxious nerves when thinking of trying something new so firstly be kind to yourself.

What is important to remember about anxiety is it comes from your own thought process which then triggers your emotional and physical responses which all then trigger your behavior, which will be the outcome.

So, imagine a large circle in front of you and right at the top is 'thoughts' and your thought is for example 'a new activity, I've never done this before'. This one thought will trigger your emotions, such as feeling worried, sad or even frustration. Your thought and emotions then trigger your physical symptoms, this can be a fast heart rate, sweating and shaking for example. All three of these will trigger the action, which is your behavior to this ONE thought. Now of course, this explanation is lengthy, however the process of this anxious thought cycle literally happens in seconds.

You described your behavior to this one thought to be avoidance, which is a very common action we use when we are anxious about a situation, place or even person. We tend to believe if we avoid what is making us feel anxious, we won't feel anxious anymore, right?

Actually, this is wrong. When we avoid a situation because it makes us anxious we are almost enabling the anxiety. What we are telling our brain is 'I'm under threat so I need to avoid this situation', so your brain learns when I am anxious I need to avoid anxious situations, which leads us to avoiding everything we enjoy and even end up stopping doing day to day activities, even simple ones just to feel like you are avoiding the anxiety.

BUT, if you feel anxious about a situation, as long as you know rationally you are safe, do it!

When you're anxious, your body reacts either using fight or flight mode. Your body is actually doing its job by sending all these emotional and physical symptoms, but it's just at the wrong time because rationally you are not under threat. Your anxiety is sending the signals 'avoid this situation because we don't like it and we are in danger', which is not true.

When anxiety begins because of a new social situation or activity, remind yourself 'this is new so I accept it will create some nerves, but I am safe'. Look for the positives in the situation, rather than the negatives because that's all anxiety likes to put out is negative thoughts.

Positive Thoughts could be:

- 'I will have a new hobby'

- 'I will meet new people'

- 'It will help me grow confident'

It could be helpful to plan an event or activity, so if you recognize you're feeling anxious about going somewhere new or doing a new experience, create a plan to offer yourself some reassurance. 

You could take a friend, research the place or activity so you understand it more, complete it in small steps and take it one part at a time, for example. 

Remember, we all have many thoughts each day, yet just because we have a thought, it does not make it to be the truth.