How do I stop thinking about death and just enjoy life?

Thank you for your question on this topic. 

Fear can be healthy. It is programmed into your nervous system, and gives you the survival instincts you need to keep yourself safe from danger. Fear is unhealthy when it makes you more cautious than you really need to be to stay safe, and when it prevents you from doing things you would otherwise enjoy.

Fear weakens our immune system and can cause cardiovascular damage, gastrointestinal problems such as ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome, and decreased fertility. It can lead to accelerated aging and even premature death.

You might consider examining whether your current fear is healthy or unhealthy based on what I stated earlier.  In terms of you encountering physical or medical concerns, you might consider having a physical exam by your physician to reassure you about those concerns that arise.  Once you find out the results (i.e., that you do not have cancer or a tumor) you can then reexamine the source of your feelings of fear and challenge any potentially irrational beliefs in this area of your life.

One approach offered by Gillman in her 2016 article (Face Fear and Keep Going) is that we take an ‘open door policy’ as it relates to fear.  Rather than fighting it, embrace the feelings and consider what you can learn and benefit from through the experience.  She suggests recognizing the fear, being aware of it, and then explore the fear through meditation experiences.  Using a ‘touch and go’ approach is what is encouraged.  You acknowledge and welcome the fear.  You avoid pushing it away.  You really take a look at the fear but don’t dwell on it or build it up.  Once you have welcomed it and examined it, you let it go.  This may take many examination experiences before you are able to truly let it go.  Also, keep in mind that the fear is an emotion and it is not who you are.  Changing the narrative from I am fear to I feel fear can make a huge shift in your experience of this emotion.

I would encourage you to grant yourself grace and patience.  Don’t be too hard on yourself for having these feelings.  Fear is a human response.  Don’t expect to conquer your fear in one day but grant yourself permission to be human and face this challenge one step at a time. 

Based on your question, it sounds like your fear could be robbing you of the daily joy that you would prefer to experience.  Take time for yourself and make a conscious effort to appreciate the small moments and small joys of everyday life.  Take a walk, smell a flower, drink a good cup of coffee, watch an absorbing movie, etc.  Don’t let fear keep you from those pleasurable moments that you deserve to experience and enjoy.

I hope that this response is helpful to you and you are able to face and embrace your fear and come to a deeper understanding of yourself through this experience.