Ask a therapist > Anxiety > How to break the lack of motivation and start doing

How to break the lack of motivation and start doing

I've been having a long period of lack of motivation (I am music composer and educator, freelance). I've felt this in previous stages of my life, however, there were always external factors that push me to do things (school, exams, deadlines, commitments with people, etc.). At the end, I always did the job in spite of my lack of motivation. Long story short of my creative process: I have always had a very difficult time beginning a piece, once I pass that stage, I start flowing, but I struggle to get there, once the piece is finished is when I feel joy. So my question would be: Should I accept the fact that the only way to do the job would to put myself external pressure to do the job?, or, is there another way, to push me to get things done, moreover, adding joy to the creative process, feeling motivated to start.
Also, it's worth mentioning that it's been a year since I broke up with my girlfriend. I think I was managing that well, but since the pandemic started I haven't been out, only for groceries and jogging. I haven't hang out with any friends (just Zoom), so I think that's also affecting me (I consider myself a person that manages very well being alone, but now its been like 10 months in lockdown so I guess I am starting to resenting it). Also, I live with my parents, I help in all of the house chores, my parents doesn't really pressure me to get a well-paid job, neither to live by own, so as you can see I am at the big "confort zone". That is also affecting me.
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Asked by Ko
Anxiety
Careers
Answered
01/21/2021

One of the most common defense mechanisms that people have is the defense mechanism of avoidance. On the surface, avoidnace can seem like lack of motivation, lack of interest, or laziness. The way that we percive this avoidance can also have a huge impact on the self talk and perception that we have of ourselves. If we view a situation such as this with the label and mindframe of "I am lazy, I am unmotivated, I am inattentive" that can contribute to that negative self talk that is very common. It can be helpful when dealing with avoidance to name it to tame it, meaning that you name the fact that you are experiening avoidance in order to shift your thinking about the situation. Resonating with the feeling of "I am finding it challening to work on this right now due to my pattern of avoidance" I way less charged than the though of "I am too lazy/imattentive/unmotvated to get anything acomplished.

I invite you to relfect on what may be coming up for you in regard to why you may find it psycholoigcally safer to avoid than to dive in. Perhaps there is a fear, either conciously or subconciously, of failing at the said task that you are working on. In a way, avoiding a task can make it easier to justify to ourselfs any fears that we have of what may happen. This can lead to a self fulfilling prochacy as well.

I am afraid that this project will not be as sucessful as I hope it will -> That anxiety leads me to my coping skill of avoidance -> I put off working on a project due to that fear -> when I face deadlines I rush to complete work -> the quality of the work I produce is not up to my own standards due to rushing through that work -> I provided to myself that this project was not what I expceted it to be.

Finally, I invite you to challenge any negative thoughts/assumptions related to that project. When you fund yourself thinking in those negative ways, talk yourself through some thought exercises to see if that thought is rational, is there evidence for that thought, are you making an assumption about that though, what are other possible outcomes, and what is likely to happen. This can also alieviate some of the stress/anxiety related to tackling projects and facing that avoidance.

(LCSW)