How to control and live with everyday anxiety and panic attacks?
Thank you very much for sharing asking the question and sharing your current situation. I know it's a difficult position - the one you are living in right now - and I am very sorry about it. Nevertheless, the good thing is that there are things to change the situation for the better and there are things you can do to improve your current situation.
Panic attacks and anxiety are indeed things that are going to be there in life always, it's not possible to completely remove them from our life, as we are talking about withdrawing the emotion of Fear, which is an important part of life. Anxiety is a way of feeling Fear when we have a challenge to face or there's a situation that worries us and Panic is the emotion of Fear in its highest degree of intensity, which is extremely unpleasant and not very useful.
As we cannot withdraw Fear from our lives, we need to learn how to deal with it and with the rest of our basic emotions (mainly Anger, Joy, and Sadness) as they have an important weight in our day-to-day stuff. It's important to hear our emotions, experience them and see where they come from, as they are there for some reason.
You are struggling now to find the triggers of that anxiety of yours and those panic attacks. I would recommend taking a look at the main areas of your life to see if there are things that you don't like within them. Try to find if there is something to be changed in your social life, your life in a couple, your family life, your life work or study wise and your personal life (the relationship that I have with myself, how much I like myself). I think you will be able to find some situations that you don't like about them. Also, talking to a friend, relative or a professional about it can be very helpful to find the cause. Finally, try to remember if any thoughts around those situations are involved.
I hope things go better for you, I honestly think you will be able to deal with it better after some time working with your emotions and once you have changed what you need to change in your life. Wish you the best.