How to stop a life long thought?

I heard many times when you talk about this fear of losing your friends which feels connected to fear of abandonment. You speak of this fear as something that you attempt to banish and, get rid of, dispel or disprove or see as absurd. Your actions seem to parallel the fears and thought that this part of you has? You say there seems a part of you that likes it. 

I wonder what it may feel like to listen and communicate more kindly toward that part of yourself that fears losing friends, to become its friend in a way? It may stop chasing as hard when it feels heard and loved and cared for by you? 

Many times thoughts and feelings which are difficult or uncomfortable are something we naturally want to escape or get away from, and we tend to try and push or shut them down. Depressing them but still aware of them, in the background, they may seem to build in strength. A side effect of this can be that when we push down uncomfortable feelings, some good feelings can be limited also, by trying not to feel the difficult feelings you can be left with a more limited range of good feelings. 

In listening to this feeling you are acting as a sluice tap on a dam of water to gently release some of the built up strength of feeling the fear has, much like a dam with pressure building behind it. 

Therapy can offer a safe and supported space for you to feel heard, which includes all of yourself. I can offer a space which is judgement free to allow you to talk about those more difficult feelings, where you can begin to explore them and understand them in an empathetic environment with unconditional positive regard, which are key elements for supporting you to explore the inexpressible in ways that can become helpful toward feeling more at ease and accepting with all of your thoughts and feelings and through this awareness a shift can occur for you creating more choice and perspectives which being deeply heard can provide.