Why I do feel scared to risk of doing anything in life. I'm thinking all of the time I have lost, which makes it worse
There's no such thing as feeling an emotion for no reason. Our feelings are always valid and, with enough care and concern, explainable. Having a daughter can be a scary thing indeed, leaving the hospital in particular as you mentioned. This anxiety may indicate an insecurity around your preparation to be a mother. Feeling unprepared or ignorant about the journey of motherhood you were embarking on at that time potentially brought up some other issues you have been dealing with.
Understanding that anxiety around preparation may indicate insecurity, we must ask a fundamental question: who is supposed to teach us core values around being prepared? Our parents! The difficulties we have as parents raising our children are a reflection of the difficulties our parents had raising us. Thinking about what themes in life your parents still to this day struggle with will assist you in identifying what work you may still have left to do in your own life.
The same can be said about getting a job. Were you taught or shown ever how to create a resume, submit one, job etiquette, etc? If so, I wonder what type of grit and commitment landing a job can take or confidence building instruction did you receive. These blindsides won't just be present in how we struggle to find work, or relate to family, it may even be present in how we make friends as well. A feeling of preparedness is essential to healthily executing all things. A lack of preparation can easily stand in the way of productivity.
Knowing that you aren't a terrible person, dumb, stupid, blameworthy, etc. at your lack of knowledge is the first step. Forgiving yourself for believing that you should know things when you were never shown in the first place is imperative. Doing so will begin to establish behavior that not even your parents potentially can/could do. This is how you know you are breaking a cycle. Any time you are actualizing your life in a way those before you still struggle to is proof of you developing your own unique expression of how to get things done.