How do I discover myself

I am depressed. I am not happy and it's hard for me to get confidence on myself. I feel every person doesn't like me including my boyfriend
Asked by Ned
Answered
01/20/2023

The first step before you can focus on how others feel about you. Is to improve how you feel about yourself. When you think back in your life to when you were happy what was going on for you then? What is different now? The other part to that is what is happiness to you? Once you begin to think about those three things you can start to look at what is missing. Happiness is different for everyone and only you can define what it means to you. Confidence within ourselves grow as we begin to feel comfortable in who we are. We are constantly discovering ourselves throughout our lives. Discovery is about trying new things to see what you like and don't like. Have you tried anything new? Through therapy you can begin the journey of discovery and begin to build your confidence.

As a therapist I'd like to work with you in finding out who you are. Because the real you is always there, sometimes people get so accustomed to pretending that we forget who we really are. That in itself can cause internal conflict. When it comes to your boyfriend has he said that he does not like you? It's important not to assume what others think or feel. When we struggle with being satisfied with ourselves we tend to think that others could not be happy with us. However there is nothing to say that is true. I would recommend having a conversation with your boyfriend and talk to him about what you need, so that you feel the connection that you are missing.

The first step is to start working with a therapist to help you tap into the source of you feeling like you are not enough.

The next is to think about the last time you were happy and to see what changed.

Also communicate with your loved ones about what you need in order to feel loved.

Finally discovery is about being open to trying new things that match with your values. As you find things you like you can continue to do them and things you don't like you can stop.

(MA, LPC)