How do I know if the sudden change in myself is who I really am & not just a coping mechanism?

You've described some very powerful thoughts, but ones that many people have experienced.  Can you think of a particular event or circumstance that may have preceded these thoughts? 

While it can be troubling to have these thoughts, please know that it is very common for people to suddenly feel as if they want a completely different life.  This doesn't necessarily mean that you want to act on this, but it can be a sign that you are feeling unhappy in your present circumstances.  It's important that you acknowledge the feelings and explore the source of them.  You might consider an approach of curiosity - does it seem like your life would be better (or easier, or more exciting ...) if you made these major changes? 

It is also important to notice what else is going on in your life.  Are you having difficulty sleeping? Any physical ailments? Eating habits? 

You mentioned that you wondered if this could be a coping mechanism.  What do you think you are trying to cope with by thinking that the only solution is to make these major changes? 

Have you discussed these feelings with your spouse?  Of course, it may be very upsetting for them to know that you are experiencing a desire to end your marriage. 

You could also engage in some sort of journaling to describe what you think your life would look like if you made these changes.  How would it be different if you weren't married? Would you practice a different religion, or none at all? What about work? Friends? As you envision this different life, think about what it is that makes this life seem so attractive to you. 

We all feel the need to occasionally "escape" from what can seem like the hum-drum of everyday life, and we might fantasize about a seemingly ideal world absent of all the things we struggle with and endure every day (spouses, work, family, taking care of our home, etc.) It's when these feelings become overwhelming and interfere with our everyday lives that we really need to address them. 

Remember that it's perfectly normal to have these feelings, and wanting a different life doesn't make you a bad person. You need a chance to figure out what's happening beneath the surface so you can focus on creating the life you want!