Ask a therapist > Depression > How do I manage stress and anxiety? Especially when the anxiety turns into feelings of depression?

How do I manage stress and anxiety? Especially when the anxiety turns into feelings of depression?

Sometimes when I feel my anxiety being triggered, it can be difficult to stop it spiralling. If the thing I was feeling anxious about isn’t immediately resolved, I end up obsessing over it, until I feel worse and worse. Ultimately I can end up feeling hopeless, sad, and genuinely depressed.
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Asked by B
Depression
Anxiety
Answered
10/31/2022

Often depression and anxiety go hand in hand and it can be difficult to determine which comes first. However, it seems like you understand that it is your anxiety and worry about not getting things done that causes the depression. 

One thing that might be worth looking into are the thoughts behind your anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one way to start identifying the feelings that are creating the anxiety and then working on changing those behaviors.  It may be the same thought that is creating the anxiety repeatedly. For example, if you thought "I'll never be good enough. I won't get this done" then your brain is setting you up for failure. If you can capture that thought and change it to "This is overwhelming, but I think I can get it done. I'm just going to take one step at a time or maybe ask for help" it might alleviate some of that anxiety. You could also stop and think "What is the worst thing that can happen if I don't get this done?" Sometimes addressing the worst case scenario head on can be helpful because it takes the fear out of the situation. 

Look for patterns in your thought process. Is it the same type of situations/thoughts that are creating the anxiety?  Are some days harder than others? 

Once you realize that you are depressed is it easy to "snap" out of it or does it take some time? I'm so glad that you are able to recognize that you are spiraling because hopefully that will make it easier to catch yourself before you head to that dark place. Sometimes it is just about the facts. I'm overwhelmed. I don't have enough time to complete this---these thoughts may all be your facts but modifying them by changing it to "I will get it done, but maybe not in this time frame."  or "My worth is not based on my work." or even "I should ask for some help--this is too much for just me right now" will eventually allow you to feel less anxiety. 

I know I make all this sound like it is easy, but it does take being mindful and practicing. 

Take care of you,

Amy