I don't know why I feel this way.

Hi. It sounds like you might be experiencing either some anxious thoughts that are leading to depressed feelings. This is incredibly normal when experiencing high anxiety. Anxiety for prolonged periods of time can lead to isolation, self deprecation, and low mood. This happens because we feel these intense physiological symptoms that are *extremely* real, but feel overwhelming and we end up avoiding everything that may cause these feelings. This is when we begin to feel the low mood and isolation - because we try to avoid all the things that made us feel good before. 

It's important to remember that these physiological symptoms are very real and you are experiencing them, yet they are directly related to these mental health concerns such as depression or anxiety. Some people's bodies produce physiological symptoms, while other's produce purely mental symptoms. 

When you are experiencing those physical symptoms, that is your body's fight or flight response kicking in. For some reason, your body's nervous system turned on to fight or flight (when it really didn't need to). Example, your head and shoulders hurt because they are tensed up all the time because your muscles are ready for that fight/flight/freeze response. Your limbs get numb and cold because again, they have to be ready to GO when needed if our nervous system is activated. Your heart is beating fast because it is trying to pump blood as quickly as possible to the rest of your body (so that the numbing doesn't happen) and you can move quickly when needed. These are all great things that our body does to save us in dangerous situations. The problem is, it sounds like we aren't in a dangerous situation ALL THE TIME, right? Your nervous system is clicking on on overdrove, when it doesn't need to. 

The good news, is there are several ways to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and to turn this on! The parasympathetic nervous system is the part of our system that is responsible for calming us back down to homeostasis. Think parachute - para - parasympathetic; slowing down and calming ourselves so we don't crash land. 

These skills I am going to suggest result in your body having no choice but to SLOW DOWN and manage the emotions. Some, may work better than others, so I recommend trying them out and see which works best for you. But again, it's science, your body has no choice but to respond in these moments. 

I call the first one nostril breathing: Essentially, you hold both nostrils closed with ring finger and thumb. Open left nostril and release breathe slowly through the left side. (It's very important that it is your left side - this is the pathway to the parasympathetic nervous system) Pause briefly at the bottom. Repeat 5-10 cycles, allowing the mind to follow your inhales and exhales. 

Calming Bilateral Stimulation: I recommend youtubing this and seeing an array of various ways to utilize it. This can come in the form of music, tapping, and eye movements. When using bilateral stimulation, you trigger left brain and right brain to work at the same time while also stimulating your vagus nerve - resulting in the calming. TikTok, youtube and Spotify all have great bilateral music you can listen and it will give you all the feel good feelings. You can also do what I call butterfly taps (google or youtube this) and you tap on your chest (right hand on left side of chest and left hand on right side of chest) and take turns back and forth slowly tapping on each side. You may also do the same on your legs and tap the top part of your legs bilaterally (so not at the same time, left on left then right on right). 

Another skill/tool you can practice is belly breathing. Fun Fact: When we breathe we are actually not supposed to move our shoulders up and down (most people do however). We are actually supposed to be moving our belly up and down. This is called diaphragm breathing. This is so abnormal for most of us that I recommend practicing by putting your hand on your belly so you can feel it go up and down. Take 1-3 minutes to mindfully engage in this act of breathing from your diaphragm. If thoughts come up during this time - okay. So be it. They are thoughts; they are not you. You have hair, but you are not hair. These thoughts do not have to be your reality and do not define you. Watch those thoughts pass on by like they are clouds.