Ask a therapist > Family > How could I get help to initiate family reunification, reconciliation and peace?

How could I get help to initiate family reunification, reconciliation and peace?

In 2020 I had to have neurosurgery. I recovered nicely at first, however by December the debilitating pain came back. So things have really changed for me. And I have a very difficult situation to manage I am qualified to teach MBSR and the mindfulness and the meditation practice separately helped me a lot. But I find I’m increasingly sad trying to deal with some of the family relationships. Two of my adult son stopped speaking to me seven years ago. It was a terrible problem with my oldest son and he was abusive to my two youngest children in their childhood. I have four adult children. And I am trying to deal with the heartbreak and deal with my declining health. It is very hard.
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Asked by Jeanne
Family
Grief
Answered
10/23/2022

It sounds as if there has really been a lot going on in your life over the past 2 years or so. I am sure that all of this really has changed you as a person! It sounds as if there are couple of different things going on in this situation and so I think that it would be important to find out which area you are looking at addressing. It sounds as if you may be dealing with some grief and trauma. Grief from the loss of relationships with your sons. If I understand correctly, your two youngest boys stopped talking to you due to the actions of your oldest boy? Are you looking for grief counseling and ways to deal with this situation? You cannot force anyone to do reconciliation therapy. The only aspect that you can work on is the part that you may have had some part in and the grief that goes along with the loss of that relationship. 

There are therapists here on this platform that can assist you in processing through the grief of this situation with your sons. They could also help you through the grief and trauma surrounding the medical procedures that you had to undergo and the residual pain. The best way to get started is by looking through the list of available therapists and finding one that has credentials and specializations that meet your needs. It sounds like an online therapy option would be an optimal choice for you after hearing about the difficulty that you have in walking and with coordination. 

Initiating therapy for yourself may assist in problem-solving some solutions, with the assistance of your therapist, that will help you be able to reach out and initiate reconciliation. Even if that is not possible, the ultimate goal will be for you to achieve peace within yourself. That way you will be able to live your best life and feel good about yourself. I hope that this has helped to answer your questions and wish you the best of luck on this journey!

(MSW, LCSW)