How do I know if I should let a friendship go?

In the last couple of months me and my best friend have lost communication due to our busyness. I've realized what I truly value and I'm not sure we both want the same things.
Asked by kirby

Thank you so much for your question. It takes courage to reach out for help.

When it comes to friendships and any other relationships, there are several things you can reflect on and consider when deciding whether to maintain that relationship or not.

First I want to ask you to consider what you feel is best for you in this situation. If you could just say whatever you truly felt to your best friend what would you want your best friend to know? Consider this from a different perspective. If your best friend felt this way about you, how would you want your best friend to approach this topic with you?

I see that you've mentioned values, which can certainly influence your outlook on relationships in your life. Values are your personal beliefs that are important to you and these values help motivate what choices you will make all throughout your life. So in this decision with your best friend, what are your true values and does your friend agree with or respect your values? It's possible to not have the same values as someone else you have a close relationship as long as you are both accepting of that and respectful of those differences. Now, if you feel your values are too different and it makes you uncomfortable or it causes you to continuously feel unpleasant emotions then it is certainly time to consider what your options are to help improve how you're feeling.

So, if you are not sure that you want the same things, is it possible to have a conversation about this and ask your best friend what they do want. That way you may be able to obtain more certainty before deciding whether or not to let this friendship go. I would like to encourage you and remind you that this is your choice so you can decide when and if you want to make a change in this friendship. I suggest trying not to put too much pressure on yourself or be too hard on yourself about this choice and take the time that you need to do what is best for you.

While you are deciding, it may be helpful to set a healthy boundary with your best friend. A boundary means communicating directly and respectfully what your intentions and expectations are in a relationship. Setting a boundary may include setting healthy limits to your involvement in what your best friend is going through. It's possible to be supportive but also safeguard your own emotional well-being. 

I hope this has been helpful and wish you all the best. Also, if you are wanting further assistance with this, friendships and other relationships are certainly something you can thoroughly discuss with a licensed therapist.