Why do i push everyone in my life away and lie to them constantly?

To start let me say that to really explore that question and find an “answer” we would have to look at why you think it “doesn’t feel like they [care about you]”. But without further exploration or greater depth, I would speculate to say that you can clearly recognize that friends and family behave in a way that indicates they care for you, yet their behaviors are somehow deficient in making you feel a certain sense of security about yourself.

The first step in addressing this would be to determine what it would look like for friends and family to make you feel really “cared for”. What would they say or do, and how would you know you felt cared for?

And second would be identifying why or how those particular words or behaviors make you feel more cared about than what the current words and behaviors being expressed by them do.

Again, I am speculating, but it sounds like your interactions with others can be so discomforting to you that you feel the need to put direct effort into avoiding these interactions (lying to avoid encounters). This could indicate the need for healthier boundaries because there are legitimate reasons why these encounters are disconcerting to you, ie. other’s behaviors are inappropriate despite having genuine concern for you. Or it could indicate a need for increased self-exploration to improve your self-esteem and feelings of self-worth so that you are not projecting these feelings onto others as their own.  Or it could be an indication of social anxiety born out of some previous situation or circumstance that you are attempting to avoid experiencing again. But to truly answer the question of why do you push everyone in your life a way, that is an answer only you can correctly determine.

All behaviors have a purpose, whether we consciously recognize those purposes or not. Any behavior we continue to replicate is significant to us, even if it isn’t always healthy for us, if it wasn’t it would become extinct.  

So, to answer your question you will need to determine what the perceived benefit or expectation is from pushing people away. What is it that you believe this behavior is protecting you from? Once you understand that, only then can you begin addressing how to change that behavior to get the same need met but in a more appropriate way.