How do you start healing after a death?

Fiance died 3 years ago, mom died a couple of months after he did. I filled a void with the wrong people and things. How do I move on? Does the pain ever go away?
Asked by Micaela

Dealing with the loss of a loved one can be a difficult and painful process. It is important to remember that everyone grieves differently, and there is no "right" way to grieve. Some ways to cope with your loss include:

  •  Allowing yourself to feel a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and guilt.   
  • Talking to friends and family about your loved one and your feelings.
  • Joining a support group for people who have lost a loved one.
  • Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally by eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising.
  • Seeking professional help if you are struggling to cope with your loss.
  • Creating a memorial or finding a way to honor your loved one.
  • Give yourself time to grieve, it's a process that takes time and is different for everyone.
  • Write down your feelings. Keeping a journal can help you process your emotions and make sense of your thoughts.
  • Engage in activities that bring you pleasure. When you're ready, try to do things that you enjoy, such as hobbies, to help you feel more connected to life.

It's also important to remind yourself that it's okay to not be okay and to reach out for support when you need it. Remember that it's natural to feel a wide range of emotions and it's important to give yourself time to grieve.

Coping with emotions after a loss can be challenging, but the above steps can help to manage your feelings.

Remember that everyone grieves differently and there is no "right" way to grieve. It is important to give yourself time to grieve and to be kind and compassionate towards yourself.

The length of time it takes to grieve a loved one can vary greatly from person to person. Some people may start to feel better in a matter of weeks or months, while others may take years to fully process their loss.

There are several different models of grief that have been proposed by experts in the field.  Understanding some of the models may help you with your grief. Some of the most well-known models include:

  1. The Kubler-Ross model, also known as the "five stages of grief," which proposes that people go through five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
  2. The Dual Process Model, which proposes that people experience two parallel processes of grief: loss-oriented coping and restoration-oriented coping.
  3. The Grief Recovery Method, which focuses on the actions that one can take to move through the grief process.
  4. The Trauma model, which suggests that grief can be triggered by traumatic events, and can lead to a range of psychological symptoms such as depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
  5. The Continuum model, which states that grief is not a series of stages but a continuous process that can be triggered by anniversaries, holidays, or other reminders of the person who died.

It's important to remember that these models are not mutually exclusive and can overlap in many ways, and that everyone's experience of grief is unique.

Take Care