Is there a way to deal with separation anxiety and feelings of betrayal

Hi, 

It sounds like you are grieving the loss not just of the relationship with your partner but her daughter who you had formed a relationship with too, as a family unit.

This could be a complex grief as you had given up everything that you had known and other significant relationships for the sake of your partner. She and her daughter have been your whole world for nearly 7 years and it is understandable that you are experiencing separation anxiety on a heightened scale.

The grieving process is unique to everyone and you may be questioning everything about the relationship considering the 'whys', 'what ifs' and that sounds like a natural part of your process. Even though it may hurt trying to process the betrayal at the moment it hopefully it will pass as you move through your loss. You may feel and think many things such as deep sadness, crying lots, anger, rage, bargaining, untll reaching acceptance (not all in a specific order or symptoms).

It can be tough and challenging to deal with loss and grief and time does heal. If you feel that you may get stuck in this process that is when speaking to a professional counsellor or someone close to you about it all could help you become "unstuck."

If there is no point of reconciliation, then your goal may be to learn to adapt and hopefully build a new life for yourself which may or may not include a relationship with your step daughter.

My advice would be to reach out to those that love and care for you to hopefully help you feel loved, get distracted and so on to help come to terms with your huge losses. If that seems too difficult and challenging right now then speaking to a counsellor could help you to untangle to emotions to get clearer and make positive steps forward. 

If you believe that counselling may be useful for you now, you can speak to a counsellor. 

Take Care

Michelle Allen