How do you recover the feeling that life makes sense when you feel you lost a lot?

Good morning there Mary, My name is Joanna and I am a counsellor here at BetterHelp, Welcome and thank you for your question which I have read closely.

I thought I would begin by addressing your title question around recovery from a lot of loss. I am so sorry that you have experienced this loss. I do believe we can experience all different types of loss from bereavement to the loss of our youth and time. All of these issues really do leave their mark on us. I wonder if in order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain you are experiencing. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and depression only prolongs the process. It would be good if you could work together with a counsellor here to explore these feelings of disappointment and depression so you have a good idea of the situation that is affecting you.

I have also had a look at the main body of your question around the fact that you have worked and studied hard but are still finding survival really challenging. I wonder if through sessions we could have a look at if there are any ways to make the work you have already put into yourself more productive. Sometimes just beginning to discuss these issues with another person who is objective can help to identify areas that could be helped, it's almost a little bit like life coaching which we all find useful at differing points in our lives.

I would hope that having a safe space to discuss these big life questions could help to address your motivation and energy levels. Just taking the first step to acknowledge there is a problem can be tricky and reaching out for help even more tricky but you have already started this recovery process!

I think through sessions we could have a look at your motivation levels and where you feel you are. I think it is useful to understand that we do not always need super high motivation to be productive and there are some days where we may have to rely on structure and a solid routine to achieve what is necessary. Could we have a look together at your structure and routine and see if it needs some changes so that you feel more excited about it?

I think it could be also useful to look at the people who you are feeling disappointed in. It can be hard to realize that some people may not be beneficial for us at different times in our lives and how do we manage that?

I do hope that this has gone a small way to answering your question? I hope to chat soon if you feel able to.

Warm wishes Joanna