How can I get out of my own way?

I am a mother of two incredible girls under 4. And I feel like I’m in a bit of a rut. My fight/flight or freeze seems to be mostly freeze. I try to be kind to myself but I am looking accomplish more in my day.
Asked by L

Hi, Thanks for reaching out. Being a mom is the hardest job we will ever have, but it is the most rewarding too. With young kids, it is challenging to focus on ourselves.  As moms, we take care of everyone else and we tend to give ourselves whatever is left at the end of the day...which is usually not much if anything. You know when we fly and they say "in the event we lose cabin pressure, put your mask on first then take care of those traveling with you"?  That's because if you put your kids masks on first, you may be in the aisle passed out, and then what good would you be then?  Self-care is essential, and you need to make sure you have enough in your tank to keep going to be able to keep giving to everyone else and be the best you can be. So make sure you make time (guilt free) to do something just for yourself regularly.  This can be anything from taking a bath, getting your nails done, sitting outside drinking your favorite drink, taking a walk or watching your favorite show.   Something that is just for you. guilt. 

Feeling overwhelmed can oftentimes give us that freeze feeling, which can be our way of shutting down when we have too much going on and can't focus on the task at hand.  Do you think this is the case? Consider writing a to-do list and focus on just the top 3 things each day.  If you get more done, then great.  If not, that's ok, at least you got the 3 most important things done. We often think it all needs to get done, but not everything needs to get done in the time frame we would like them to be done.  Then, before bed, instead of thinking about what needs to still get done that didn't, consider creating a list of what you did do.  A list to focus on your successes.  I bet there's more on that list than you realize.  

And yes, work on being kinder to yourself.  Our inner dialogue often isn't the nicest and we are often our harshest critic.  If you are telling yourself something, ask yourself...Would I say this out loud to anyone else?  If the answer is NO, then take a mental note to stop telling yourself that.  Kindness starts with us, so pay attention to your inner dialogue. No one is perfect and all we can do is do our best, and the days we don't, well, tomorrow is another day.