How can I overcome burnout and restore my self-respect?

I work in an extremely toxic workplace and am actively trying to find a better job. However, I feel incredibly insecure despite exceeding the targets at work and doing my best to maintain healthy relationships with my partner.
I feel like my state (depression and insecurity) can result in issues with my partner who’s been supportive through this time.
Asked by Lara

Hi Lara, 

Thank you for reaching out to get some guidance on this issue. Burn-out can be a challenging thing to overcome. I am so glad you are actively working to make positive changes in your life so that it is not impacting your overall well-being so much! A job is just that-a job. It does not define you or control you. Your mental health is much more important. I'm proud of you for recognizing that! 

One very helpful thing that I like to do as a therapist is to start by helping people to identify their strengths! I can see a lot of those in you in just those few sentences that you sent. You are working to better your life and you recognize that your issues are caused by burnout. You have identified where the burnout has come from. This is all great. You also care about your partner and you are doing your best to maintain a healthy relationship. Your partner is also supportive. What other strengths can you identify about yourself and your life? 

Feeling insecure is normal when you are in a toxic environment. It does not mean you are not enough or that you are not accomplishing enough, the issue is within the workplace. Focus on the facts. As humans, our brains like to form thoughts and feelings that are not based on facts. these are called cognitive distortions and they cause a lot of the feelings you are currently experiencing. An example of this is; you feel insecure at work despite doing better than is required. What thoughts are you having that are leading to this feeling? I can't say for sure but my guess is that it is a cognitive distortion! What caused that distortion? It could be any number of things. Maybe the way you were treated in the workplace? Make sure you are setting boundaries at work that are healthy for you. If you are scheduled to work until 4:00 and you are asked to stay until 5:00, unless you truly desire to stay at work late, it's okay to say no. You have to focus on yourself and do what is best for you. 

Take some time to do things that you enjoy doing. Do you have any hobbies or interests? Try to spend time doing those things after work or on your days off. 

Also, ensure that you are maintaining healthy communication with your partner! Did he say that he has issues with all of this or are those cognitive distortions? Talk with him about them and explore how he feels so that you are aware and you can base your feelings on facts. Maybe there is a solution you can work out together. 

I wish you the best!