Understanding my partner

Communications between couples is often challenging. The emotional connection intensifies the action or reaction of communication. I would offer that you figure out your own feelings. Take time to find out exactly what you are feeling. It may be helpful to write out your feelings to understand them. This will help you when communicating the feeling knowing exactly what you are experiencing. You can brainstorm. The beginning prompt can be, “I feel” then finish the statement until you have exhausted all that you feel. Then read the statements to find out which one resonates with you.

Be aware of when you are talking. Timing of communicating is particularly important. If you and/or your partner are very emotional, the conversation will be very emotional. It is best to communicate when emotions are less intense. Sometimes it may be helpful to schedule a time to talk about the issue. When it is time to have the conversation, approach it in love. Remind yourself of the love the two of you have together.

Start the conversation with “I” statements. Blaming the other person about how you feel will intensify emotions. Know what you are feeling, this will keep you focus and avoid the blame game. Keep the conversation concise and to the point. The less words the better. Be sure what you communicate is accurate and true.

Be open to listening to your partners concerns and feelings as well. Take deep breaths if you do not agree with what your partner if feelings. Keep in mind that your partner has the right to feel as well as you do. It is the expression of those feelings that can create a more loving relationship.

If the conversation begins to get intense, politely stop the conversation and continue at another time. Some ways to stop it is by saying, “This may not be a good time to continue this conversation.,” “I see we are getting upset, let us finish this later.”  This boundary demonstrates respect for your emotions as well as your partners.

I wish you the best. Take good care of yourself and each other.  I hope you find this helpful.