How can I control my emotions (anger/frustration/sadness) with my children?

Thanks so much for your question. It is exhausting to be angry and have big emotions all the time, particularly when your young children are present. I'm not sure whether you have anxiety and/or chronic worry, however this RAIN acronym below, might be helpful to you, as you begin to work to recognize your emotions and manage your difficult emotions and feelings.

Just prior to The Pandemic, NPR's podcast Life Kit highlighted an author and mindfulness teacher, Tara Brach. In her book, "Radical Compassion," where she offers a practical guide to dealing with anxiety, anger and chronic worry using mindfulness in a four-step approach called R.A.I.N (This information is adapted from a colleague of mine):

When you find yourself in a particular "stuck" moment, or caught in a trance of anxious (other other high emotion, like anger) thought, try the R.A.I.N. approach: 📛 1. Recognize: The first step is to become aware that you are stuck in your anxiety and name it for what it is. This can be the hardest step because it requires us to purposefully shift from reacting to responding. Once you realize that you are overwhelmed by a feeling, name the emotion that most stands out to you: "fear", "anger", "hurt", or maybe "confused." ⏯ 2. Allow: Next, give yourself power with a pause. Let the emotion be there; tell yourself it is OK to be like that for a few moments. The emotion is different now because you have now given it a name. Now, you can do something about it. 🔎 3. Investigate: Ask yourself, "what really needs my attention right now?" Check in with your physical body, notice the places where you feel tension or discomfort and address your physiological needs first. Then attend to your emotional needs. Ask, "what am I believing right now?" and then, "what do I need to get through this?" 🌿 4. Nurture: And finally, no matter what you're feeling, be kind to yourself.

Emotions are a large part of being a human, so give them space to happen and be mindful about how you respond and what you need to resolve, move forward and make decisions, if needed. After you have gone through these steps, notice the difference in your body and mind, and in your quality of being present, from where you started.

Raising young children is challenging. Certainly, ask for help from trusted friends to ease some of the isolation and frustration that comes with parenting young children. Hope you find this brief information helpful.

BetterHelp is here to help connect you with a counselor to support you, as well.

Take care.