How can I overcome past situations and not project them in new relationships?

Hey! Thank you so much for submitting this question. I know it can be very uncomfortable being vulnerable with someone who is essentially a stranger. Thank you for doing that here. I can hear that you are struggling. 

It sounds to me like you are reliving a lot of your previous experiences from other relationships. How long have you been in this relationship? You stated that you have had similar symptoms in the beginnings of other relationships. How did you move past it? In a session, I would really want to explore where these feelings come from and what your actual thought processes and fears are. 

In this situation, we would want to focus a lot on your area of control. One of the primary reasons we experience anxiousness and even low moods is that we are trying to reach for and change things that we 'cannot touch' - things that we have no power over. Examples of this would be the feelings, behaviors, or perceptions of other people, outcomes, and past experiences. To tenuously reach for things you do not have power over puts you in a state of preparation for something you cannot prepare for - that creates anxiousness. Reminding yourself of what you do and do not have power over will definitely start to address those thought processes. In this situation specifically, you cannot manipulate anything in your present to change your past experiences or the future decisions of your current partner. You can, however, focus on putting your energy into things that you do have power over.  What are your boundaries in this relationship to take care of yourself? How are you taking care of your body? How are you taking care of your mind?

A clinician can work with you to address your previous experiences as well as help you to engage in new relationships healthily. You can work through your thought processes and challenge those that are working against you or are unhealthy. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my response. I hope that it sits well with you. I would be happy to talk with you further if you have any questions. 

Take care. 
Chelsea