How can I set myself up for success in a longterm relationship after witnessing my parents divorce?

I first want to say that I commend you for reaching out. For you being concerned of this tells me that you are already taking a step towards a healthy marriage and your future. Trauma can be complicated. It can be buried beneath many feelings/emotions as well. Trauma is a powerful emotional response to a distressing event that you experienced and in your case you can relate that to your experience as a child and how it was impacted by your parents' relationship.

Everyones experience with trauma is unique and what symptoms impact your ability to function are unique to your experience. I would encourage you to identify, If you are able, what symptoms are you experiencing that are inhibiting you from functioning daily. If there are symptoms that you feel fall in this category, I believe first and foremost it would benefit you to work through your trauma to help alleviate the symptoms you are feeling and gradually heal from your trauma. Being aware of how you may be experiencing things, what may be your triggers and how you respond to each will be helpful to make progress in this area.

The other thought that comes to mind is the importance of knowing the different qualities in a healthy vs unhealthy relationship. Also, communication is key. Talk to your partner about what they feel a healthy marriage looks like. What does that look like for you? Have these conversations together. If and when you feel comfortable, talk to them about your concerns that are stemming from your past.

Because you are reaching out with this question, it tells me that you are already aware that what their marriage was like, was not healthy, and it is not what you want for your future. It sounds like you already do not have a tarnished understanding of a healthy marriage. I would also encourage you to think about and talk about your values. What you value is what you find most important to you. Your values will also help you determine your priorities in life and impact your decision making. Taking some time to explore yours will help with this topic.

Be kind to yourself along the way. It sounds like you already are taking the steps to make sure that your marriage will be healthy and you know what you want. Allow yourself to experience the love and happiness that you deserve. It sounds like you found your someone! Best of luck to you!