How to deal with anxiety after a breakup

Going through a breakup can be very difficult, no matter the circumstances. You are likely going to go through the stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) just like you would if someone passed away. The vision you once had of your future with your girlfriend is now shattered and you are left with a void of the future with a lot of negative emotions. 

Given the circumstances of being emotionally cheated on and feeling used financially, it would make sense that you would have some anxiety regarding other relationships and negative thoughts about yourself. The best way to challenge those anxious thoughts is to put things into a different perspective. Right now, because you are hurt, you are experiencing life negatively, and in order to change that, we need to look at how we are thinking. If you are having anxious thoughts, you can ask yourself what the worst case scenario, best case scenario, and most likely scenario are. That way you are a little bit more focused on the logic of the situation and not the emotions. Because you are hurt, your perspective is likely going to be skewed a bit, and it is important to remember that not every partner is going to have the same qualities as your ex, nor will you have the same experiences. Asking yourself if the thoughts you are having are rational or irrational is going to be important, as well.

When we get hurt, it is natural to fall into negative thought patterns as well. Depression, poor self-esteem, and anxiety are often the result of irrational negative thoughts. Someone who has been cheated on might feel that they are unlovable. This irrational thought about themselves will dictate how they feel about themselves. Challenging irrational thoughts can help us change them. We can do this by asking questions about facts and evidence. Looking at facts will help us manage the emotion. We can also look at it from the perspective of a family, a close friend or supportive adult. Challenge yourself to look at the situation from a positive perspective and ask yourself if the situation will matter in the next month, year, or five years from now. 

I hope this helps you with managing the emotions that come with breaking up with a former partner.