How would you advise to get over an ex quickly?

Hello Craig, and thanks for reaching out to seek answers to your question!  You ask a very important one and are certainly having an experience in which you are not alone.   Learning to find your way through challenges in personal relationships can be a lifelong journey and is a very common area of concern for many people. 

Unfortunately when those relationships dissolve there can be strong residual feelings that can linger afterwards.  These feelings can come in all different forms and experiences and can combine leading us to feel overwhelmed and even confused at times. 

We may feel a mixture of emotions including but certainly not limited to those such as sadness, guilt, anger, fear, abandonment, rejection, insecurity, and despair when a relationship dissolves.  We may at times also feel emotions we might not even expect, such as a feeling of relief.   Often we  experience another emotion which we may not expect. The feeling of grief.  Sometimes these feelings can reside in us for a very long time and other times we can make our way through the experience relatively quickly.   This can depend upon the quality and length of the relationship in question, the attachment by each partner involved, reasons for the dissolution of the relationship, to name a few considerations. 

When we experience losing a loved one (family, friend, pet etc) due to death (or significant disruption or discontinuation of the relationship) we commonly experience a response to that loss called grief.  There are many stages we go through within the grieving process. These may include feelings of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and ultimately (hopefully) acceptance.  

Unfortunately there is no way to expedite the grieving process.  It is unique to each individual and each relationship the person is grieving.  It is important when trying to heal from a breakup or end of a relationship that one allows themselves the time and space they need to adequately reflect upon their true feelings and experiences. Only through the process of feeling these emotions can one truly heal enough to find the place of reaching acceptance. 

When healing from the loss of a relationship through a breakup or abrupt change, it can be helpful to take a time of respite for oneself.  It can be useful to develop new habits and routines. Revisit what activities you enjoy.  Spend time with new friends.  It is also important to take the time you need to offer yourself patience, compassion, and self love during this time.  It may be helpful to try to avoid seeing the person you are no longer with (if this is a result of a breakup) while you are developing new routines and patterns. 

Of course without knowing more about your unique situation it is hard to provide more specific details or recommendations.  It might benefit you to consider speaking to a licensed professional clinician to further explore your history and experiences with the relationship and any areas of personal development that may enhance and promote improved health in any future relationships.  In the meantime, I wish you well and hope you found this helpful!

Best of luck.