Should i hold onto hope or try and move on?

Hi Yessi,

Firstly let me start by saying i can understand your frustration and disappointment. It seems that you felt you had found someone that you would like to have a committed relationship with. In many ways you were in a position to make this commitment and had spent time being single. Unfortunately his position is more complicated, especially in regards to his children. It may be that he is feeling very torn between his responsibility to them and his desire to be in a new relationship with you. Although I cannot give you direct advice about what to do, I can understand that waiting to see what will happen must be very painful for you. You are not in control of this in terms of what he will decide to do. 

It sounds like you are partially grieving the loss of someone that felt very special to you, but that this is also mixed up with holding out hope that the situation will change  and that is a very difficult place to be. Not able to work through the loss and not able to make contact. 

What is interesting to me is that you refer to "failing " in previous relationships. I am curious about your past experiences and how this may relate to patterns of your own earlier family life. This is certainly something that would be worth exploring further. It is my belief that our foundations in life often set up patterns later in adult life that we do not feel fully able to break. By understanding them it is possible to think more about what you as an adult want in relationship, your expectations and what may be beneficial to you.  

In answer to your question of if you should wait, I believe that only you can make that decision, but that exploring it further may help to give you some clarity about the situation.

If you feel you would like to talk some more, please feel free to contact me. I would be very happy to offer you support and a space in which to think about things without judgement 

Best Wishes

Maria